I crack a laugh. “Now, get the fuck out.”
He rolls his eyes. “When you’re good, give us a call, and someone will pick you up.”
I nod, and with one last, lingering glance at me, Cove leaves, the door closing behind him. All I can hear is my own breathing and the sound of my heart beating. Reluctantly, I open the envelope and pull out a neatly folded paper.
“Dear Arlo,
Don’t hate me too much for being in on this with Cove. We did it for your own good. And don’t be mad I’m not letting Blair see you. I know that deep down, you don’t want her seeing you in that terrible state, anyway. I have no doubt you’ll return to us and be the better version of yourself.
But more importantly, I need you to stop blaming yourself. None of this was ever your fault. Not Mom getting shot, Dad gettingimprisoned, or Luna dying. You didn’t know it was her, and you did it to protect Blair. It will sound terrible, but you released Luna from the chains of abuse, pain, and suffering. Even though this is the worst possible outcome, she’s in a better place right now. She’s not in pain, she’s not struggling anymore. She’s at peace. I’m sorry that you’re going through this, I’m sorry for being a selfish idiot and not noticing your inner struggles. I promise, it will never happen again. You’re the most important person in my life, my other half. I’ll never let the darkness, the guilt and regret swallow you whole. I’ll always be in your corner, Arlo. Always. Remember that.
Get well, and come home.
Yours,
Aria.”
By the time I read the last lines, my vision is blurry. Tears stream down my cheeks, coating the paper, leaving dotted stains all over. I crumble the letter in my hands, clutching it tightly.
My heart swells with emotions I can’t name, and I lie down on the bed, covering my face with my hands. I’m so fucking pathetic, and this needs to end now. Once I’m done with everything I need to do, I’ll be able to leave in peace.
Darkness clouds my judgement, my eyes struggling to keep open. The weight of it all is immensely heavy, and I need to figure out a way not to let it crush me to the bone.
With a deep breath, I wipe the tears away, forcing myself to calm down. I sit up, putting the crumbled piece of paper back into the duffle bag. If anything, as a reminder that there are people I need to get better for. Aria needs me, too. She’s only seventeen, carrying an entire illegal organization on her back, even though her own mental health is in shambles.
She’s such a strong, brave young girl, and I’m proud of the woman she’s becoming. She’ll overcome all of this and rise to the top. Her future is bright, and I’ll be damned if I don’t see it happen.
“Get a fucking grip, Arlo,” I tell myself, walking over to the mirror.
I keep a straight face, looking as my eyes slowly revert back to the man I’m used to seeing. The nightmare of people, the Ghost of New York. The man that I never should’ve allowed to get buried inside to struggle with all the grief and guilt. Once all of this is over, there will be time to deal with all of my emotions.
Right now, I need to remember who the fuck I am and who raised me. Because if Mom were awake, she’d fucking slap me into tomorrow for thinking, acting, and being this downgraded version of myself.
The Ghost is making a comeback very, very soon. No one alive will be able to stop him when he starts haunting everyone who ever did my people wrong. I won’t stop until their blood is coating my hands, until their pathetic breaths have left their bodies. In fact, I won’t stop there. I’ll ensure no one fucking remembers them. They’ll become a memory of the past, buried under the terror, fire, and havoc I’ll wreak.
Let’s see if anyone else will ever be brave enough to try and hurt the people I love. I’m excited to finally allow the bloodthirsty monster in me to take over and kill until he’s had his fill.
But first, I need to get my body under control. My butterfly is waiting, and I will not make her wait for long. After all, I promised to never leave her side. It’s happened once, and it will never happen again.
The only way anyone will be able to separate us is by killing me, and that’s fucking impossible.
TWENTY-FIVE
Hot water manages to soothe my aching body. The droplets fall all over my body, a sigh of content filling the shower. The glass door is coated in a thick cloud of steam, the warmth seeping out into the bathroom through the small cracks.
I had no idea that Lucas is such a good fighter. I’d never think that judging by the way he dresses, acts, and the way his physique looks. Then again, if I learned anything, it’s not to judge based on someone’s appearance. He looks tame compared to the rest of the family, but he’s just as strong.
He sent me flying flat on my ass four times in an hour. There are a few bruises scattered around my body, but they’ll heal with time. He taught me some tricks that are the definition of playing dirty, but that’s exactly what I need right now. Playing by the book won’t help anyone.
After letting the mask sit on my hair for twenty minutes, I rinse it off, then finish showering. I open the glass door, wrap myself in a fluffy towel, and step outside on a soft mat, the cloud of steam following me. With a sigh, I open the small window, letting the cold winter air enter.
I dry myself off, then take a moment to look at my naked body. Except for the scars and the new bruises, I look way better. The change is noticeable, and although I still have a long way ahead of me to return to my former weight, it’s a good start. Cove’s meal plans, paired with the training they’ve given me, seem to be helping.
The shirt on me is too big — because it belongs to Arlo. It falls down to my mid-thighs, the sleeves coming to my elbow. A small smile graces my features briefly. It’s the only way for me to feel connected to him while he’s away. Every night, I pray for his recovery, hoping that some deity hears and answers my prayers.
My feet slide into the slippers with ease, and without allowing myself too much to think, I pull open a drawer of the bathroom. The small packet of white is nearly empty, staring right back at me. I pull it out, pat the bathroom counter dry, then create a small line.
I bend down, holding my left nostril closed with my index finger, and inhale through my right one. My eyes close; a moment of bliss, relief, and content washes over me. It floods my veins, and the effect is almost immediate. My body relaxes, nothing hurts, and my mind is at ease.
