“We need to get those pants off you,” I grumbled once we were inside my house.
“I’m sure that can be arranged.” By the look on her face and the tone of her voice, I could tell the intention of what I’d just said came across entirely the wrong way.
“Stella, you’re soaking wet.” I still felt like such a piece of shit for not noticing she was kneeling in the snow while I was having my pity party.
“I mean, not yet, but I could be.” She was trying to break thetension and get my mind off things. I appreciated it but I didn’t deserve her.
“Stella, stop, how could you want me? I’m a failure. This isn’t a matter of just a struggling family business anymore. I havenothingto offer you. We need to sell the farm.” It was the first time I said it out loud and the words made me nauseous. I hung my head in my hands, too devastated to see the disappointed look on her face.
I couldn’t bear witness to her heartbreak, not when she had just found happiness, not on top of everything else.
Her hands found mine and peeled them away from my face. As she tilted my chin up to look at her, I noticed she wasn’t disappointed at all. A small sympathetic smile was there instead.
“Oh, Cal. You have already given meeverything.” She kissed my hands every so often as she held them, encouraging me to keep eye contact with her. “I’ve known some of the richest men who lead the saddest lives. All they worry about is business and money and who they can screw over next, while they go home to no one and nothing. Look around you, baby—look at this community, you have so many people who love you and are going to continue loving you, no matter what happens. That makes you the wealthiest man alive.”
Love.It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her that I loved her. I just couldn’t. Even though her words were comforting, I still didn’t feel deserving of the gift that she was. I didn’t want to take anything from her when another man had already taken so much.
“You saved my life, Calvin. You and this little town. You made me feel safe when I was in a world full of uncertainty. You helped me breathe when I couldn’t catch my breath. You’ve made life fun and silly and have filled it with so much love. Don’t you see how much you’ve given me?”
I shook my head, I just couldn’t.
“Well, if my words aren’t hitting, then maybe my actions will. Let me show you.”
She pushed me back to sit on the couch and went to straddle my lap, but I stopped her. “Stella, your pants.” They were still soaked from the snow, and I couldn’t imagine how cold her legs were at this point.
“So take them off me.”
I looked at her, unsure of how to proceed. I wanted her warm, and god, did I wanther, but I also couldn’t stomach the idea of taking advantage of her.
Her face changed at my hesitation. “I-I’m sorry, did I read things wrong? Is this not what you want?”
Oh god, no. I couldn’t screw this up and have her think that. “I have wanted you from the very moment I laid eyes on you. You were trembling in bed at the bed and breakfast and looked so cold and so terrified. I covered you with a blanket, but it took everything in me not to kiss your forehead or pull you into my arms to stop your shaking.” I was sure I’d gone too far, but I needed to give her my truth. She needed to know how much and for how long I had wanted her. And I think I needed to admit it to myself as well.
Her gaze hardened and her tone became serious as she repeated herself. “Take. Them. Off. Me.”
I slowly reached up to unbutton her jeans as I peeled them off her like a second skin. She was wearing a blue lacy thong, and my mouth watered at the sight. As I dropped the jeans to her ankles, I helped her step out of them and then she climbed up to straddle my lap.
My hands gripped her ass and the way she felt on top of me could have made me come apart at that very moment, and she hadn’t even touched me yet.
She crushed her lips to mine, needy for the kiss, and I couldn’t wait to give it to her. Now that I could feel her body in my hands, all other worries were starting to become nonexistent.
The only thing that mattered was her and me and the space between us.
I deepened the kiss, trailing my tongue against her lips as they opened, allowing me entrance. She tasted like one of Mel’s holiday coffees, sweet and minty, and likehome.
She moaned into my mouth as she grinded on my lap, and as her breathing picked up I broke apart our kiss momentarily.
“Is this okay?” I asked her. I knew she was doing this for me, to get my mind off everything, but I needed to know that she was getting something out of this, too.
“It’s more than okay,” she confirmed and kissed my neck. Biting a little spot softly by my collarbone sent chills through my body and made me grab her ass harder.
My hands trailed higher to the hem of her shirt. “May I?” I asked, oddly similar to Halloween night. I didn’t want a replay of what happened then, and I was so worried I would trigger something to frighten her.
In response, she quickly tore her shirt over her head, begging me to have my hands on her.
I was done being polite and holding back while she was being so demanding. I scooped her up into my arms with her legs and arms wrapped around me like a monkey while she squealed. God, her ass felt even better like this.
“Calvin! What are you doing?”
