Ivy leans forward on the huge sofa, shaking her head. ‘I can’t believe it might work.’ She looks around at the others. ‘Do you think it really did? Did it work? Did we just get rid of John and Columbo all in one go?’
Teddy shrugs. ‘I guess we’ll see. It’ll certainly get them off our backs for a while, at least.’ She smiles at Pauline. ‘And even if the case goes away or gets dropped, it will definitely get leaked to the press. John is about to get exposed to the world for who he really is and everything he’s done.’
‘Meanwhile Columbo’s on suspension.’ Audrey grins.
‘Hold on.’ Ivy frowns. ‘Didn’t you say he was still harassing you, Audrey?’
She shrugs. ‘A little, but I reported it. He hasn’t been around since. There’s no way they won’t dismiss him.’
‘And now our new friend Magnum PI is taking over the case, focusing all his attentions on John Sheldon,’ Teddy finishes.
Pauline puts her drink down, a rush of anxiety ruining her good mood. ‘Do you think John will tell them?’ She swallows hard. ‘About all of you, I mean? Do you think when they bring him in for an interview, he’ll tell them about my email? About how you killed your husbands?’
Audrey places a hand on top of Pauline’s. ‘My darling, I know you’ve been worrying about this, but what did youreallytell him in this email? All he has to go on is three first names of women he’s never met—’
‘And Teddy isn’t even my real name!’ Teddy announces happily.
Audrey giggles. ‘And if he did work out which Audrey it is, he’d look absurd trying to accuse me of the crime he’s facing charges over.’
Ivy nods. ‘It would make him look very silly, wouldn’t it? Trying to claim a bunch of lottery winners were in cahoots after all murdering their husbands! No one would ever buy such a ridiculous idea.’
‘There’s one more thing that might be a bit reassuring.’ Teddy leans back into the luxury cushions of her sofa. She smiles like a cat. Her friends regard her curiously, waiting. ‘I put in a call to our friend Craig and his pal.’ She pauses. ‘The loan sharks? Yes, they’ve had their money paid back in full, but, to be honest, Craig wasn’t particularly happy that John was let off the hook like he was. He wasdispleasedthat John had faked his own death to avoid paying and didn’t much like threatening poor Pauline all those times—’
‘He didn’t seem to mindthatmuch,’ Pauline points out.
‘He was just doing his job,’ Audrey says, full of sympathy for her fellow sociopath.
‘Either way,’ Teddy waves her hand dismissively, ‘Craig was more than happy to receive a nice little bonus from me to message John earlier today.’ She raises her eyebrows. ‘He let him know that if anything gets brought up that shouldn’t be, he’ll be around to collect on a different kind of debt. With interest.’
Pauline gapes at her friend. ‘Teddy,’ she says at last. ‘You are so brilliant.’ She takes a deep breath. The solid mass in her chest loosens. ‘I’m free,’ Pauline whispers, smiling. ‘I’m really, truly free.’
They clink their glasses once again, acknowledging a job well done.
Ivy sits up straighter. ‘I want to help other women feel free,’ she says suddenly, with urgency. ‘I still want us to do something to help victims— Survivors!’ She half-laughs. ‘Obviously murdering isn’t the way to go, but I can’t help it. I need to do something to help all those women I’ve met in the support group. There are so many awful people in the world and I want us to be able to do something about that. We helped my friend Gemma with Dominic. And we’ve helped Pauline with John—’
‘Pauline helpedherself,’ Teddy says proudly.
‘She did,’ Ivy acknowledges, smiling softly. ‘And you’re amazing, by the way, Pauline. In case we haven’t said that enough or made that crystal clear.’ She sighs. ‘But there are a lot of people struggling out there. Owen the predator is still out there hurting women. All those other men on my list, they’re out there doing what they do, over and over.’
Audrey rests her head on Ivy’s shoulder. ‘I agree with Ivy. We should be able to do something. We all have money to spend and we all believe in moral relativism.’
Pauline nods a lot, though she has no idea what moral relativism means.
Teddy cocks her head. ‘So maybe we become, I don’t know, facilitators of some kind? We could help women get rid of their horrible partners by any means necessary.’
The buzzer goes, and this time, Pauline is unsurprised to see her children at the door. This time they were invited.
‘Come on in, my darlings!’ Audrey calls out. ‘We were just talking about moral relativism.’
‘Moral what-ivism?’ Seb looks blank and Audrey grabs him for a bear hug.
‘Thank you for asking that! I only said it to sound clever and not a single one of these women asked me what it meant. Can you believe that? It’s just inconsiderate when a person’s so clearly trying to show off.’
‘I know what it means,’ Teddy says and Ivy nods in agreement.
‘I’ve seenThe Good Place,’ she explains but is ignored because no one else knows what that is.
‘Anyway, Seb darling,’ Audrey continues, ‘it’s a philosophy I happen to be a big fan of. It says not everything is universally good or bad.’ She directs this at Seb, though Pauline is also listening intently. ‘So our choices should be more dependent on the context. It’s all relative! Who are we to judge!’ She side-eyes her friends. ‘For example, just plucking this out of thin air, is killing evil rapists always wrong?’
