“How much redblossom powder can a noma purchase?”
“Six months’ worth,” Gort said.
“We better make it two then.” I put a second noma on top of the first. “Two nomas a month. Sent to your family.”
Gort made 224 dens a month, more than two nomas. I was offering Tillmar a war rate.
Tillmar met my eyes. “What do I have to do?”
“In the morning, go to the Redeemer Tower. Tell them your sad Saubra Company story. Give them lots of details so they have no trouble confirming it. You dream of your friends who were put to death, and when you lie awake at night, they whisper to you from the darkness. You question why you lived, and they didn’t. You wonder if you could’ve saved them. Can you sell that to them?”
Tillmar nodded.
“Good. Look tormented as if the guilt has gnawed at you from the inside until you became a hollow husk of a man.”
Lute looked taken aback. Gort did, too. They hadn’t seen this side of me.
“Yesterday you thought of ending it all, but you dreamt of a knight in dented armor holding a sage standard on a plain wooden spear. He called to you. You’ve come to pledge yourself to the Redeemer Order.”
“What if they ask about my family? Redeemer pay is shit.”
Gort was right. Tillmar was smart.
“Tell the Redeemers that you’re no good to your family, since nobody will hire you. You have failed as a soldier, husband, and father. They are better off without you. You cannot live with yourself, and you wish to be reborn. Can you do that?”
Tillmar nodded. “I can.”
“Do you think your wife can pretend to be sad and abandoned or do we need to lie to her?”
“Benna is smart. She will play her part,” Tillmar promised. “She won’t tell a soul.”
“Good. You will write two letters. One explaining the true story and the other one so she can show it to people when they come asking.”
“What do I need to do at the Redeemers?”
“Be the best Redeemer recruit they ever had. Be humble, pious, and dedicated. Volunteer for unpleasant tasks. Say as little as possible, just show up when they need you.”
He nodded.
“They will confine you while they verify your story, so you won’t be able to leave the Tower for the first month or so, but that will pass. The first few times you go out, you will be watched. When you feel safe, go to Taryz Teahouse and order Thieves Brew with a sambocade. They will tell you they’re out of sambocades. Order something else instead, enjoy your tea and go back to the Tower. The next time you come back to Taryz, ask for the sambocades again and there will be instructions for you.”
Tillmar looked past me at Everard. “If I do this, will me and mine be black and green?”
Everything stopped. The three Magnars went still. Tillmar stared at Everard as if he were drowning and the Sleepless Duke was holding a life jacket.
“Do this well, and there will be a place for you and your family in Selva,” Everard said.
Tillmar looked at Gort. “I want to do this right.”
The older mercenary took Tillmar’s sword off the table and passed it to him. Tillmar got up.
Gort moved to the aisle to stand on Everard’s right. Lute forced himself to his feet and joined his father. On the other side Will stood up and took a position to Everard’s left. Everyone was getting up.
Everard offered me his hand. “My lady.”
Clearly, whatever this was required standing. I put my hand in his, stood up, and tried to turn toward Will. There was a space there. Instead, Everard gently but firmly maneuvered me to stand next to him.
“Your Grace . . .”
