“It’s mutual lust, little hummingbird. Isn’t it?”
“Yes, but—” I bend down just a bit and press my dick against her core. Lana pushes herself against me, trying find some friction. This type of intimate contact makes me want to push inside of her this instant, but I wait. She needs to fucking hear me out.
“Nobuts, Lana. Your body and soul belong to me now, and my soul is hurting.”
“Why?” she asks, all breathless as she keeps rubbing her pussy against my dick.
“Fucking unbridled and unapologetic relief should be flooding through you right now, but it’s not. You are denying that part of you that deserves a place in my heart.” Her facial expression changes for just a second—it goes from lust to panic. What is she panicking about?
“You are still not sure, are you?” My question hangs in the air, and I know I’m not getting a response from her.
“All my life I have been taught to behave and to keep out of trouble.” Lana’s words pierce through me because of how honest she is and how she said it. It feels like she has been holding on to those words for the longest time and carrying a burden that wasn’t hers to take.
I release her from my grip, and I sit up straight and pull her toward me, so she is straddling my lap. And I let her continue with her explanation.
“My parents were amazing people and attentive, but sometimes it was too much.” She looks at me and shakes herhead. “Sorry. This may not have been what you were looking for or what you wanted to hear. I am a mess.” This fucking woman.
I place my hands on either side of her face and pull her close to me so I can kiss her. A kiss that is short, but filled with promises.
“Don’t you fucking dare talk about my future wife like that,” I tell her sternly as I pull away from her face.
“Wife, you say?” She raises one eyebrow and gives me a lopsided grin.
“Yes. Continue.” So she does.
“My parents were well aware of how evil the world was, and they wanted to keep me safe. Mymamadid that until she passed away, and my dad did the same thing.”
“How did you feel during all of that?”
“Sometimes a bit suffocated, yet their love kept me going. At the end of my dad’s life, he was finally letting me into his professional life, and teaching me the ropes, even.”
“What did your dad do?” I already know, but she needs me to listen to her.
“He was in the restaurant business, so he traveled quite a lot. After mymama’sdeath, he started to trust me more about the business side of things, and I reveled in it.” And she means it since a huge grin is plastered onto her face. “And I was good. I helped him write out proposals and stuff, and even though he worked quite a lot, he still showed me love and attention. My dad was my hero, and I miss him dearly.”
“What happened to him?” I ask her.
“He left when I was twenty years old.” She inhales deeply and breathes out slowly. “That love never wavered, yet the constraints ofbeing goodstarted in my childhood and developed into adulthood.”
“I understand, Lana.”
“Thank you. One day, when I was eighteen years old, I b—” Lana’s eyes widen, and she starts muttering some words. “Gotbeaten up by a man and I scratched his face, and some of his blood was underneath my fingernails.” This story is getting more interesting by the second as I listen intently.
“Once I looked at him while he was clutching his left cheek, I felt euphoric. It then clicked that sometimes pain was equal to pleasure for me.” I don’t think Lana has ever been this honest in her life because she can’t look at me. She is still ashamed about her deepest and darkest desires.
“Thank you for sharing that with me. Conflicted feelings make the void within us bigger.”
“You are pretty wise for an old man.” I know that she is trying to lighten the mood, and I oblige by smiling.
“Old? I’m only eleven years older than you.”
“You dog.”
“Woof woof.”
“Get on the floor, doggy, and listen to your master.” She fucking needs to be in control and not deny herself this part. Her values obviously erode over time, and her necessity to express herself in a deviant manner has been suppressed.
I want to be the fuck toy she can manipulate, do grotesque things to, and I need her to humiliate me. If that’s what she wants.
