M sets me down onto his plush couch, and I instantly melt into it. M returns with a pill and a glass of water. I look at it suspiciously.
“I’m not going to poison you. You are already here.” I’m still not convinced.
“It’s just paracetamol.” I nod at him and take the pill with some water. He takes the glass from my hand and takes it back to the kitchen. Once he returns, he sees me getting out of the haze.
“Let’s go upstairs. I’ll carry you. Just like for our wedding in the future.” I’msotired that I don’t even want to argue. He leads me to his bathroom, undresses completely, and rips open the dress. I’m never wearing that thing ever again.
We both finish washing each other up, and he asks me to wait on his bed. He goes into the closet and produces a nightgown and some underwear.
“This is for you. Come on, let’s get you dressed.” I don’t do anything as he does everything. After he is dressed, we both get under the covers. My back is facing his front, and we spoon.
“Thank you for the best evening of my life,” he says as he kisses the top of my head. M is asleep in two fucking seconds.
This feels even more dangerous than what we did before.
Why? My heart is starting to rear its ugly head.
35
MAfter last night, I thought that I would be fucking exhausted. On the contrary, I am exhilarated, and my energy is renewed. And I have Lana to thank for that.
I want to say that it’s been a while since I have beenthisobsessed with a woman, but I would be lying my fucking ass off. In my thirty-six years of walking on this earth, I thought I would get my thrills only by killing bad people—that fixation has shifted to the gorgeous woman lying beside me.
I stroke her face while she is still sleeping, and a tremor runs through my chest as I inhale. A sick bastard like me shouldn’t get anything good in life, but here I am. If there is any divine power watching over me, thank you.
I don’t even want to get up because I feel like if I look away for even one second, she would disappear. I want to keep her in my home forever so the horrors of the world don’t cloud her mind, and I might do that.
“Hmmmm.” Lana’s soft murmurs make me smile as I grab her right leg and place it over my hip. The moment I’m drawn closer to her,hewakes up.
“Is your dick seriously pressing up against me?” Lana asks me, eyes closed and in a sleepy tone.
“It is.” I don’t even want to lie about it. “How have you slept?” I ask her as my fingers are still caressing her cheeks. Lana stretches her arms and legs and finally opens her beautiful eyes. Once she sees me, she smiles as well.
I seldom use the word 'cute,' but she is fucking cute right now.
“What are you thinking about?” Her question makes me wiggle my eyebrows. Lana swats my arm, and I feign pain.
“About last night.” She covers her face with her hands, swatting mine away. She is getting red in the face, and I fucking hope it’s not because of embarrassment. A different type of anger is awakening inside of me because I believe she is still hiding behind a facade of innocence and goodness.
I remove her hands from her face and hold them in front of her.
“If you think that you should feel uncomfortable about last night, don’t,” I demand of her.
“M, what we did was monstrous. I had sex with you a couple of meters away from my dead boss.”
“Ex-boss now. And I thought you would have appreciated my present a bit more.”
“What present?” Her question confuses me as I’m definitely talking about her dead boss. Lana catches on and bites her lip.
“That was not a present! You violated every law of humanity. What were you thinking?” I have had enough of this shit. This fucking good girl act needs to drop.
“You.” I move fast, and now she is pinned beneath me.
“Let me fucking go.” Her words might hold some truth, but her body language betrays her. She isn’t struggling to get out of my grip, because she isn’t trying at all.
“Let me ask you this.” She nods. “Why do you deprive yourself of joy?”
“Because it’s depraved.”
