“Drew? Wh…” his eyes widen in shock and he stumbles over his words. “W-what are you doing here?”
“I live here, now answer my question, Ryan.” I urge him, through clenched teeth, because I'm kinda pissed right now. “What did you mean by all that?”
“I meant that someone has to be here for them since you won’t be, with another big case sitting on your desk.” He snaps back at me. His disappointment and anger showing in his tone and the way the vein in his temple is now pulsing.
Eyes narrowing at him I finally take a step closer to him. Studying his face as I ask my next question.
“And how do you know about the big case sitting on my desk?” I ask, cocking a brow at him, my hands resting on my hips.
He seems to think about what to say next.
“Just say it, Ryan. How do you know about it.”
“It was Ben, okay?”
I stare at him in shock. I don’t know what I was expecting but it’s not that.
“Ben?” I say with disbelief.
“Yes. He came today to the shop to make an appointment, and he mentioned it because he thought I already knew.”
“And you just what? Decided to come here and takethem,”I can hear his gasp at my words, but I’m furious. “Because I won’t be here to take care of them?” I take a deep breath to calm myself.
“Well, then let me inform you that yes, I got a new big case,” he’s about to say something, but I hold my hand up to stop him as I continue, “and a new assistant, paralegal, and a few interns to do the hard work for me. I would have told you had you responded to my text, telling you I was home.”
“You mean that?” he asks with hope in his voice. But I don’t trust that hope anymore. Just like he doesn’t trust me.
I am so disappointed. I thought that what we accomplished for the last few weeks was enough. I guess it wasn’t.
“You’re never going to trust me again, are you sweetheart?” I say with resignation.
“What?” He sounds shocked at my words.
“No matter what I do, you’re never going to trust me not to hurt you like that again.” My voice breaks at the end.
“No, Drew.” He steps closer to me, and I let him. He lifts his hand to my cheek.
“I’m sorry for bursting in here like that.” He brings his forehead to mine.
“I wanted to come back tonight, after work, with my stuff, and that stupid rug, which we should hide in a closet for now, by the way,” he tries to pull out a laugh but it comes out like a strangled cry.
“I don’t think you’re ready for that, sweetheart.” My heart breaks at my own words. He leans back and looks at me shocked.
“What are you saying, Drew?” his voice is trembling, and my heart breaks again.
God, what am I doing? Do I really want to push him away? But maybe that’s the only way he can come back to me without any fears. He needs to decide that he wants to come back because he trusts me to love him the way he deserves.
“You need to figure out if I am enough for you, Ry, the way I am because you know what? I’m not perfect. I’m going to fuck up again. I might work too late or forget to put out the trash,” I need to stay strong not to break in front of him, but my voice is cracking like too thin ice on the lake.
“No, Drew! I don’t need to think about it.” I can see a single tear falling from his eye as he shakes his head furiously.
“I didn’t give you the time you needed. I pushed and pushed, and now it’s biting me in the ass.” I know he wants to protest, but I can’t let him.
"I'll be here waiting for you, no matter how long it takes, but Ryan, you need to love and trust me in spite of my flaws because that's the only way I know to love you."
RYAN
He told me over and over that things will be different this time. He spent weeks showing me that he cared about our lives and memories. He showed me he understood why I needed to leave, why I was so lonely. He owned up to his shit and swore he would make changes in his career to prevent it from happening again.
