“It’s no excuse to be a dick.”
“He’s only sixty years old. That’s practically an infant for demons.”
“Can you explain demon puberty to me because I’m also going through human menopause and it sucks? I don’t trust those three to understand, even if your brother and Nero are kind of great.”
“Celix has a lot of sisters. Women of our kind have litters. Nero is an incubus, so he’s really in tune to feelings. They probablycouldhave helped.
“Anyway, I don’t know much about human menopause, but from what I understand about your kind, your powers are trying to wake up and are burning their way through your body. It’s changing you at a cellular level. When it’s done, you’ll feel better, but you’ll be a lot more powerful.”
“So, I’m going to be exploding things until then?”
“That’s leading up to Hellfire. It’s a feared thing. It can obliterate anything. The atmosphere in Hell should stabilize a lot of that. Try this on,” Almeth said, tossing me clothes.
I held them out. Oh, fuck. Almeth had badass clothes. The bra and panties still had the tags on them, thankfully. She threw me leather trousers that didn’t have the side seams sewed. They were held together with crisscrossed safety pins. There was adistressed black tanktop with a pair of red lips and vampire fangs on them with a drop of blood falling off the lips.
“Damn. Why do I need all these knives?” I asked as she started strapping them onto me.
“Protection. Don’t let your guard down around the princes.”
“Hey, isn’t Lilith the Queen of Hell?”
“For a time. You can’t pin that one down. She does what she wants. Lilith pops in from time to time and we’re all welcome to visit when we’re on Earth. When she finds out you’re here, she’ll probably make a trip. Lilith and Lucifer were a thing for ages.”
“Give me the 411 on the princes and the need for knives.”
Almeth shrugged.
“I’ve never met them. The only lower demons they hobnob with are succubae. But Ihavemet a few succubae who have met the princes. They said some of them aren’t bad, but they areallambitious. I know they’ve been trying harder to break the link between Lucifer and Hell sotheycan be king than they are finding him. My brother thinks your link to Lucifer might stabilize Hell. Some of the more ambitious princes might think they can exploit your link and rule through you.”
I snorted.
“I’m not a kid and I was in the middle of a messy divorce. I’m not even the same woman I was last year who hadn’t left a shitty husband. Good luck with that.”
“So, intel. Abaddon is probably the only one you don’t need to worry about. He’s lazy as fuck and doesn’t even want the responsibilities he does have. He might even help you if it’s not too much work and you butter him up. Bring snacks.”
“So, the rest are fuckers?”
“Just from what I’ve been told, they treat their lovers well, but they definitely think they are better than them. Not sure if it’s a power thing or a penis thing. Just don’t fall for their bullshit. They’ve been in their castles trying to figure out how tobreak the link between Lucifer and Hell while the lower demons have been trying to find him and plug the leaks where the souls are escaping. They haven’t looked at all.”
“Noted. Your clothes make me feel like a badass. I might accidentally slit my own throat with all these knives, but I think I’m ready.”
“I’ll teach you to use the knives, but Celix, Nero, and Kujo could, too.”
I pulled my shirt down. If thiswasa hallucination, it was going on a very long time.
Maybethis was all real.
Being forty-six in Hell was something else. Thishadto be a hallucination. I hadn’t been checked out like this since college. I felt powerful andsexy.So, yeah, I was probably in my shower with a head wound because this shit hadn’t happened to me in a long time. It felt amazing, so, yeah, it was probably brain damage.
Apparently, I was in a huge skyrise in the nice part of Hell. The climate was pretty nice. I didn’t want to be in the fiery inferno part the next time a hot flash came back. I was still confused if it was a hot flash or a nasty side effect of demon puberty and my magic awakening. Either way, it was complete shit.
We left the high rise and, apparently, there were some arguments on getting me to the rich part of the nice part of Hell. I’d gotten snatched by hotmotorcycle-riding demons, which was just a bit too cliché for me not to be in a coma. The demons who knew I was Lucifer’s kid wanted me to ride in a fancy car, but if I was living a smutty book, hallucination or not, I was riding bitch on an incubus’s motorcycle.
“It’sreallynot proper,” a green demon gasped.
“Why?” I asked.
Was this a royalty thing or was it because they thought Nero was beneath me as a lesser demon? Because my mother didn’t raise me to look down onanyoneunless they gave me a reason to. No one was beneath me except assholes. They had it coming.
