“He should pay for his crimes against you,” Nero said. “I could also pay him a visit and break his mojo so he never gets another erection.”
“They make pills for that where I’m from,” Sydney said with a smile.
“Iassureyou there is no pharmaceutical that can fix it if an incubus or succubus breaks your boner. It’s our ultimate punishment if you wrong us.”
Nero wasn’t wrong. The upper demons like to shit on them because of the whole sex thing, but they were insanely powerful when they were allowed to fight back. They didn’t even have to lay a finger on you to do it. Nero could fuck up her ex from her backyard.
“I’ll think about it, but my laptop was locked in my desk. If the cops didn’t break the lock and get to it, I’d like it back. I want my books and some of my clothes. Is it safer to take me back to get my stuff or go out in public to buy them new?”
Even Kujo could admit we couldn’t take her out in public with no magic. Some of the princes got here and did the exact thing they rebelled against. Their followers were zealots and would go after her. Sydney didn’t seem like the trusting type, but she also didn’t know anything about Hell.
“Fuck me,” Kujo grumped.
Nero and I just glared at him. If he’d done things properly the first time, we wouldn’t have to go back. Yeah, she blew the roof off her house and someone was pounding on her door, but Felid demons were fast. If he’d given her time to tell me what she needed, I could have gotten it and we could have gotten her to Hell before the cops broke down the door. Kujo just flew off and reacted, and he didn’t usually do that on the job.
“Okay, fine. We need to find an access point in your house where we can portal in and get a read on the house if we’re alone or not. If we’re not, we leave. If we are, we get in and get out. Low noise and we don’t alert the neighbors.”
“So, the next-door neighbor is nosy as fuck so I’ve got window treatments and high fences in case she thinks I’m fucking her husband again.”
“Were you fucking her husband?” Nero asked.
“Gross. He should probably see a doctor about his asshole itching because he’s always digging like there’s treasure up there.”
“And your neighbor thinks other womenwantto fuck her husband?” Nero said, wrinkling his nose.
Sydney just shrugged.
“Love is blind, I guess, even when it’s fingers smell like poop.”
“Anyway, we should leave. Can you manage to shut up long enough for Celix and Nero to make sure we’re alone?” Kujo growled.
Sydney just glared at him and flipped him off again. Kujo didn’t like most people, but I had no idea why he was so hostile towards Sydney.
I just had this feeling that if he was less of an ass, she’d be nicer to him, too.
There weren’t many places in my house we could portal in and definitely not run into anyone. I didn’t live in an area with basements because of frequent flooding and my attic wasn’t huge. I wouldn’t imagine anyone would be using the master bath with the roof missing, but I’d also imagine if the cops thought I was dead, that’s where they’d be looking for evidence the hardest.
The closet in the guest room was tiny, but we could squeeze in long enough to see if I had any strangers in my house. Portalling felt weird now that I wasn’t naked and disoriented. I could actually experience what was happening to me.
Except I ended up smashed right into Kujo’s chest. He was deathly hot, but he was rude and unpleasant, so he could fuckoff. But why did he have to be so hot? And why couldn’t I have ended up smushed with Nero or Celix?
“There’s a man in the room next door,” Nero whispered. “He feels frustrated.”
“He’s angry,” Kujo said.
“My office is next door. I’m guessing it’s my ex. Mom always told me not to go full in with a joint checking account. He was fine with keeping our finances separate and having a joint account we both put money into for house and living expenses until I started making more money. He drained the joint account when he left, but he’s never been good with money. I’m guessing he’s in there trying to figure out how to get control of my accounts and catalog.”
“Sorry, give me a minute,” Nero said.
Nero’s eyes went black and I could feel some kind of magic coming off of him. I didn’t know what it was.
“Harsh, Nero. Though, not undeserved,” Celix said.
“What did you do?” I asked.
Nero went back to being Nero and not so scary. He beamed at me.
“I broke his wiener.”
