“Everyone lovesyou,though,” Nero said with big, moon eyes.
“Demons do because my dad told me if I wanted respect, I was going to have to earn it. He didn’t pull any strings like the other princes did with their kids. I literally worked in a kitchen washing dishes when I was in school and I tried out a few jobs before I settle on one. I changed my name, so I got the jobs on my own merit instead of Dad’s name. Most the of princes and their spawndo notlove me.”
“Most of them are mean,” Nero whispered, like we were going to yell at him for saying that.
Iwasn’t, and I didn’t think Wrathhog would, either. She just gave him a gentle smile and patted his arm. Yeah, I liked her.
“No, I agree with you. They are awful. Youmightget Asmeodeus’s kids on your side, but just the women. You don’t want to deal with their brothers and one of them is a twin, so I can’t guarantee they won’t find out.”
“Okay, so this isallnew to me. I have a general idea about what’s going on here. I need to knoweverything.”
“’Bout time, princess,” Kujo grumped.
I flipped him off because it wasn’t my fault I didn’t know any of this.
The asshole flipped me off right back.
This was thebestday of my life. I’d been a fan of Wrathhog since I was a kid. Yeah, she was royalty, but she didn’t just pick a job, have daddy pull some strings, and barge in and do it badly while blaming everyone else for her failure. Wrathhog did it like the rest of us had to and she didn’t treat any of us like garbage.
And then there was Sydney. Big fan. I loved having her on the back of my bike and she didn’t insult my driving at all. She was just fun, and I really believed she was going to shake things up in Hell.
But first, we had to give her the tools. There weren’t many upper demons who were interested in hearing about the system here. If they overheard us talking to each other about it in public,they tried to put us in our place. My kindcouldhave reduced the whole place to goo, but it was against the law to use our mojo against anyone without their consent. Asmodeus decided we couldn’t even use it as self-defense.
We had to give herallthe tools and I really only knew what was going on with the lower demons and Cambion. I didn’t exactly breathe the same air as the fancy people. None of us did. Shit, was I a fancy person now? Or was I just fancy person adjacent? This was too much.
“So, it’s common knowledge that Lucifer and Satan don’t like any kind of hierarchy and want to get rid of it. Abaddon doesn’t want to be in charge just because he’s a fallen angel. He doesn’t think any of the princes should be in charge just because of their blood. He wants to retire with his pajamas and lovers and let Hell pick who leads us.
“The rest of the princes think Lucifer shouldn’t be in charge just because he was their leader when they rebelled. They’ve been whispering in ears and gathering followers hoping to get enough support that theycouldsay they believe as Abaddon does and be crowned supreme ruler of Hell with Lucifer on the sidelines keeping things stable. But then he went missing,” Wrathhog said.
“I’m guessing Abaddon’s idea was an election withanyonein Hell who wanted to run and not a wank contest between the princes,” Sydney said.
“You guessed right. Satan and Lucifer are older than you can imagine. They had their taste of power. They are famous in Hell and on Earth. Most of humanity hasn’t even heard of the other princes and they are bitter about it. Dad and Lucifer would be fine stepping back and letting qualified demons run things. As it stands now, none of the princes would have enough support to take over.”
“They haven’t asked us,” Celix said. “The lower demons haven’t been approached by any of them. They liken us to pests because there are so many of us. Seems like if they wanted the votes, they’d come to the bad part of town.”
“The furies are Team Satan because of the whole Wrath thing,” Kujo said. “I’m pretty sure they are hoping someone pisses him off enough to take charge. Though if they thought someone else would win and give them more power, they’d back them.”
“He won’t. He reveled in the whole Prince of Wrath thing and went around scaring humans at first, but then he saw what came of that. Satanic panic horrified him and every time he thought humans had gotten better, there’s a wave of it again. And he thinks the furies are inbred purists who need to stop fucking their cousins.”
Kujo fell out laughing. He didn’t do that much, and it was nice to hear. He’d start a fight if anyone insulted a lower demon or a Cambion, but he thought it was hilarious if someone threw one at an upper demon. He laughed the hardest if someone was insulting a Fury. He probably foundthishilarious because Wrathhog had a free pass as the daughter of Satan, so they couldn’t say anything about it.
“I hope he says that to their faces.”
“He has. More than once. Dad has little patience with ass kissing and more than one of them have suggested he overthrow the princes and takeover. He doesn’t want to. He’s good friends with Lucifer and he doesn’t want it. I’ve told them that, too, when they try to get to him through me. The furies aren’t the only upper demons who want Dad in charge.”
“Nice.”
“So, we’ve got to find Lucifer and break up some demon fan clubs. I don’t have the faintest on how to do that.”
“You actually need to worry about learning to defend yourself and harnessing what magic you have. Dad said you blew the roof off your house and triggered the alarm. That should be the first step to Hellfire. Lucifer hasn’t been challenged because Hell is tied to him but also because he’s the only one with Hellfire. Once you have that, most people here wouldn’t be dumb enough to come after you.”
“I thought I was having a hot flash and spontaneously combusted. That was a head fuck and then all this happened. It was worse than the ecstasy I dropped my freshman year of college.”
“We havemuchmore fun drugs in Hell if you’re into that. But after all this.”
Oh, man. I was going to get to do drugs with Wrathhog and I got drunk and snuggled with the heir to Hell.
Best.day.ever.
