Two demons came in with tall glasses on a platter. The liquid was purple and sparkly. I didn’t care as long as it got rid of my hangover. I probably should have asked alotmore questions,but I also felt like shit, so I upended the magic demon potion and gulped it down.
“Hey, it tastes like that grape drink from when I was a kid that doesn’t actually taste like grapes. It just tasted purple. This tastes purple.”
“Tell the grapefruit to stop staring at me like that or I’ll gut it,” Kujo muttered.
“Does he do that often?”
“Oh, yeah. Kujo has lucid dreams. Some demons have a touch of the sight. It starts with lucid dreaming. When Kujo gets a little older, he’s probably going to get visions. He doesn’t want anyone to know. The furies shun him because he’s a Cambion, but they’d pretend like they didn’t and try to use him for his visions.”
“You’ve got people here who get visions and none of them have found Lucifer? Seems sketchy.”
They both looked at each other like they didn’t want to tell me, so I put my hands on my hips and glared at them.
“Out with it!”
“Okay, so demons have their favorite among the monarchy. Lucifer is fair and wants equality. So do Satan and Abaddon. You’d think all the demons want that, but they don’t. You’ve got the factions that want to abolish the monarchy altogether, but you’ve also got some who want someone else in charge. Peoplecouldhave Seen where he is and chosen not to share it. They could have Seen it and shared it with the prince they want to be king. It’s complicated,” Celix said.
“And visions don’t work like that. They don’t always See what they want when they want to. We’ve had people reading tarot cards, but they haven’t been able to narrow anything down, either.”
“But Kujo is on our side and he might eventually see something.”
“Kujo is an anarchist. He wants to burn the whole system down. You actually did him a favor. He hates fetching Cambion kids. He doesn’t want the job, and he thinks instead of forcing other demons to do it, Hell should make the parents accountable. If they can’t use proper protection, then they need to stick around and be there when their kids find out they aren’t totally human. Some of them think it’s cool, but some hurt people and they are scared. You got him out of the job he hates giving us this promotion.”
“He’s right. I get mine might not have had a choice, and I grew out of it eventually, but there was a phase of my childhood where I had all these hangups that he bailed because I wasn’t good enough. It sucks. No kid should have to go through that. Kujo had it worse because it was his momandhis dad.”
“We know. And thank you. Kujo can be a lot, but he’s our friend. He’s not completely unreasonable.Ifhe gets a vision about Lucifer, he’ll realize his best bet of blowing up the system is by helping the original rebel.”
“Can you get that potion in him? It’s already made me feel better and I kind of feel bad for the asshole. That looks uncomfortable.”
Whatever the fuck was in that potion was literally better than any greasy food I would have eaten at the campus diner in college when I was hungover. It was like I hadn’t even drank an entire bottle of whiskey made by Lucifer with three demons, maybe got up to some really raunchy dancing toThe Cure,and then passed out on the couch.
Which meant since I didn’t have to suffer the consequences, I was probably going to do it again and again.
For amassivedemon with horns and a tail, Nero had to be the cutest thing I’d ever seen over the idea of possibly getting to work with Wrathhog and getting to meet her again. I already knew the hangover potion worked damned well, so there wasno needfor Kujo to be that grumpy that Nero was that excited.
“Let him have this. If you’re mean to him, I’ll smash your nuts harder.”
Kujo scowled at me and moved entirely across the room. Dick. My fancy demon butler came in and announced Wrathhog. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’tthat.
I didn’t know who her mother was, but she could pass for a human. Like, a hot professor or librarian human. She waswearing a blazer, pencil skirt, and smart heels. She had her red hair pulled up in a bun and she was wearing cat-eye glasses. Wrathhog was also shorter than me.
Honestly, I loved that she was the most terrifying thing to all the wicked souls down here. To the point that she had a fan club because her torture methods were legendary. That honestly should have put me off, but maybe it was the side of me that came from Lucifer that was silently singing “Cell Block Tango”fromChicago.
She was sizing me up, and I was just grinning like a complete fucking idiot.
“So, we are like, cousins, right?”
“In theory. It’s never actually been scientifically proven my father and yours share DNA.”
“Yeah, but I haven’t been here long and your dad is really cool. I’ve never met him, but, apparently, mine isn’t some loser who abandoned his kid. I really like Abaddon, but the rest of these assholes are pompous douchebags who are responsible for all the bad things in Hell. Kujo can probably protect me on his own with just the power of his bad mood. Want to help me start a revolution while we find Lucifer?”
Wrathhog gave me this grin, and I actually broke into goosebumps because she was kind of scary.
“Oh, I’m so in. Dad and I have talked about how we’d do it over family dinners. I wasn’t born on Earth to a mortal. My mother is a succubus, and she’s been married to my dad for ages. The princes always shit on mom and I had to work twice as hard. I don’t think they realize there are no female fallen angels here. Any female angels probably think worse of them than they do of us because they started a war. The entire thing is ridiculous.”
“Good, then you already have some ideas. We’ve got princes, factions, and zombies repeating your name so we’re probablygoing to have to fix that and I stopped watchingThe Walking Deadafter they killed my boy, Glenn.”
“Fascinating. But none of our ideas would have worked. If you really want to unite people, you have to give them someone to hate or shit on. Most of the princes figured that out and have done it. The demons who are getting shat on would rally behind you, but you’re going to have to give the ones who have nothing but the fleeting sense of superiority something to bring them to your side.”
