Decker and Easton peel off to head to their condos, and I continue up the stairs to my own. My finger hovers over my keypad because I have no idea what I’ll find when I get inside.
I didn’t message Callie while I was away because I didn’t want to have the conversation over the phone. Hayes warmed up a bit as the days went on. At least he’s being cordial now, but it’s not like it was.
I punch in my code, and when I push the door open, the consequences of my actions hit me square in the face.
There’s no candle scent.
No soft glow of a lamp.
No throw blanket over the couch.
Most of all, there’s no Callie.
It’s as if all the life has been drained from this place. It’s an empty shell, a husk of what was.
I cross the room and push open her bedroom door to find it empty like before she moved in.
You really did it this time. Fucked up good.
Why did I think she’d even entertain staying here after how I acted?
The couch feels like a beacon of loneliness, so I lean against the wall and slide down onto my ass, my arms resting on my knees and my head falling forward so my chin hits my chest.
I’m so mad at myself. I want to destroy the condo. Lash out. Take a knife and shred the couch so it matches my shredded heart.
For the millionth time, I wish I could do it over. That when she looked up at me with so much love and vulnerability, I didn’t crush her. I could have stayed, talked it out, but I ran—like a fucking coward. An undeserving coward.
I hear the electronic beep of the keypad at my door. Someone is punching in the code. I scramble to my feet and jog over to the door, but when it opens, it’s Hayes and Leighton.
“Hey,” Hayes says. From the pity in his eyes, I know he can see my disappointment that he’s not his sister. “Yeah, she’s not coming.”
I nod. “She moved out?” I look at Leighton.
She nods. “She’ll be with us at least until the baby comes.”
I inhale a sharp breath and go back to the living room, but instead of sitting on the couch, I go back to the floor.
“There something wrong with the couch?” Hayes asks, about to sit on it.
“It’s a thing with them.” Leighton makes a gesture like he should sit.
“Like I shouldn’t sit on it?” He turns to inspect the couch.
“Just sit.” Leighton rolls her eyes.
“Listen…” Hayes starts off the conversation.
I brace myself for a lecture I really don’t want. I already know I fucked up. I know I’m at fault. I know I’m the puppeteer of my own misery.
“I was really mad when I first heard what went down with you and Callie the other day. But I’m pissed at myself that you lost that endorsement because of our fight on the field. So I’m sorry for that, but I’ve calmed down now, and I have some things I need to say. You should know that when I first found out about you two, I told my sister I was Team Callie and Team Foster.”
“Be Team Callie.”
He huffs out a laugh and glances at Leighton. She nods for him to continue.
“I don’t know if me telling you this will make a difference in what has already happened. Maybe you and Callie will just be co-parents for real,” he says.
Knife in the chest.
