When I heard the news earlier, my heart sank, followed immediately by me wishing I wasn’t still so invested in him. I should say go to hell and be done with him, but part of me knows that the Foster Davis I saw is the real one and that he’s just scared. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Then again, what does that say about me? Did I not show him how safe he is with me like he did for me?
“Two games, right?”
She sits on my bed. “Yeah.”
I continue to pack my things. I can’t believe how at home I’ve become here in just a few months.
“You know I want to burn him at the stake and all that for hurting you, but at the same time, I feel so bad for him. I mean… he’s clearly scared,” Leighton says.
I turn and glare at her.
She holds up her hands. “I said I want to burn him at the stake. But I think he really is a good guy. From what I gather, he didn’t have a great childhood. At least not one where he felt he could be himself.”
I sit on the bed with her, grabbing a pillow and hugging it. “He hasn’t really told me much except that the issue with him and Decker started because their parents split them up. There’s animosity there. But he’s trying to live like it doesn’t affect him, like it didn’t shape him.”
That’s basically common knowledge in our group, and I won’t say anything more than that. Certainly not what he told me about college. I may be irate with him, but I would never betray his trust.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think you understand what it’s like not to be raised in a perfect family.” I open my mouth to refute her statement, but she holds up her hands again. “I’m not suggesting that you haven’t gone through things, and you don’t have your own wounds. It’s not even something that you should feel bad about. It’s wonderful that you and Hayes can’t empathize in that way. But when you’re young and bad things happen… when you don’t feel safe, you believe the lies. Both the ones you tell yourself, and the ones other people tell you. Kind of like Rebound Callie.”
I stare at the pillow, my hands running along the edge.
“I think it was poor judgment on his part not to deal with it before getting into a relationship with you,” she says.
“We weren’t in a relationship.” I look at her.
She pushes my leg with her hand. “Callie, you guys can tell yourselves whatever you want, but you were in a relationship. You were openly kissing and hugging and holding hands. You can only have sex with someone for so long before intimacy sneaks into the mix. I think that’s what happened with you guys. You thought you could play it safe, but you fell in love. You wrapped your head around it and put yourself out there, and he ran. But for the record, I do think he loves you. I’m just not sure he’ll ever come to terms with it. And that’s why I feel sorry for him. He’ll live a very lonely life if he can’t get out of his own way.”
Tears push at my eyes, but I suck them back. “Let’s just get this packed up. I don’t want to be here when they get back.” I drop the pillow and get back to packing up my stuff.
“I think you should take the couch,” she says, getting off the bed.
“When I leave here, I’m not taking anything that would remind me of him.” I look down at my stomach. “I already have a piece of him forever. I kind of hope brown really is dominant so this baby comes out with my eyes.”
She frowns, and her shoulders fall.
I shake my head at her. “Nope, no tears today. We’re moving on.”
We work to pack up the room, not saying much, but then Leighton says, “Hey, Cal, just do one thing for me?”
I look at her.
“Don’t build that wall back up, okay? This is on Foster and has nothing to do with you. You’re worth it, and it’s his loss. It was really beautiful the way you loved him so freely.”
Tears prick my eyes again, threatening to fall.
How can the biggest heartbreak I’ve ever felt not crush me? But then again, I have a little one who needs my love, so I’ll pour all of mine into him or her.
Chapter
Fifty-Eight
Foster
* * *
What a banner week. Two-game suspension, a blown endorsement, and now I’m back to face what I’ve done.
