“I’m not gonna ask why the two of you are here.I’m sure Playboy or Sam called you to show up.I appreciate it, but that means Annistyn is home alone,” I say, keeping my eyes on my two best friends.They both just shrug and don’t respond because I’m right.
“Laura, what the hell?”Cali says, her voice breaking as a few tears roll down her face.“You didn’t need to do all of this to get our attention.A phone call would suffice and we’d come visit you.”
“You know I always have a flare for the dramatics,” my mom jokes, her voice with that false bravado I’ve heard countless times over the years.
“Not funny, Mom,” I state as Caleb and Cali walk up next to me.
I release my mom’s hand long enough for Cali to hug her before Caleb does.Both of them stand next to me and I take her hand once again.
“Ma, this isn’t funny.You’re important to all of us and this is the last place we ever want to see you.You mean as much to me as my own mom does and there is no way in hell I’ll ever find this situation funny for any reason,” Caleb says, his voice cold as she looks up at him with sad eyes.
“I’m sorry.I don’t honestly know what happened.One second I was working and feeling fine, the next I was blacking out and falling.I could feel myself collapsing, but I couldn’t do anything to stop it from happening,” she says, giving us a bit of her truth as she looks at me and only me.
“Mom, that’s not being okay.That’s you havin’ somethin’ wrong with you.I know you don’t want to be admitted, but you’re gonna stay here as long as the doctors say.If that means you’re in here a week, you’ll stay in here a week,” I say, trying to make my voice more gentle than it has been because I’m still scared to death what the bloodwork will reveal when we get it back.
“I know.I just don’t think it’s anything too serious.I think I’ve overworked myself and didn’t eat enough,” she says as if that explains everything.
Before any of us can say another word, the transportation person comes in to take her up to her room.Sam, Caleb, and Cali let me know they're going to head out for the day and will return first thing in the morning.I let them know I’ll be there when visiting hours are over for the day.We’re all staying at Sam and Playboy’s house as normal.Well, I typically stay with my mom, but I won’t step foot in her house knowing she’s not there.It won’t feel right and I’ll be lost in my own thoughts.
I follow my mom’s bed up to the floor she’ll be kept on while in the hospital.She doesn’t say a word as she gets switched over to the bed in the room so the gurney from the emergency room can be taken back downstairs.I take the seat next to her bed and turn on her TV so she has something to watch.My mom can’t stand a silent room and always has the TV or show on while she’s home.Even when she works, my mom has some kind of noise on.For now, we watch some stupid comedy show and I savor every laugh I hear from my mom because it means she’s still here with me.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Annistyn
WALKING INTO THE house, I instinctually know Kreed isn’t here.I got back really late from the park with Roger.Later than either one of us intended but the light was way too good for me to leave without trying all the settings I’ve been wondering about on my camera.Plus, the flowers are in full bloom and looked amazing.I love flowers of all kinds and could never choose a favorite one.Each one is different and beautiful in its own way and deserves to be captured when it looks its very best.I tried explaining it to Roger when he asked me why I’d rather photograph flowers than anything else.I’m not sure if he understands where I’m coming from or not, but my thoughts are valid.That’s one of the many things my therapist, Debbie, made sure I learned when she was first working with me.Not only are my thoughts and opinions valid, but my feelings are too.Everything about me deserves to be heard by those around me even if I don’t clearly know how to express myself.
Pulling out my phone after setting my camera bag on the stand just inside the door we recently added, I pull up my message thread with Kreed.I haven’t gotten anything from him since earlier today when I was still at the park.
Me: I’m home and gonna start cooking dinner.If there’s anything specific you’d like let me know.
We usually talk during the day about what we’ll have for dinner but it didn’t happen today.I could tell he was busy as hell or distracted because his messages were short and he didn’t answer after a message or two.That never happens when we’re going back and forth.Kreed is really good about answering any question I ask him.Even if it takes time for him to respond again.For now, I’ll start preparing dinner and wait for him to get home.
Before starting dinner, I head up to my room and change into a pair of shorts and a tank top.Before I leave my room, I grab one of Kreed’s hoodies he gave me because while I’m home alone I don’t mind showing a little more skin than normal.It’s only when Kreed is home or someone else is here that I cover my scars as much as possible.I’m not comfortable with anyone seeing them and hated when Kreed touched my back under my sweater and felt them.He only touched the smaller ones and it was enough to put me on edge.Though, he did tell me they don’t change a damn thing and I’m trying hard to believe him.Debbie says it’s going to take time for me to become comfortable with exposing things that happened to me when I was at my most vulnerable and all alone.
After changing and washing up in the bathroom, I head back downstairs and get to work in the kitchen.I pull out hamburger, the eggs, and ketchup.Meatloaf sounds really good right now.Once I have everything I need to make it, I start putting it all together while the oven preheats.As soon as I have the meatloaf ready for the oven, I grab the potatoes and start washing and cutting them before tossing them in a pan filled with water.It doesn’t take me long before they’re on the stove cooking and I grab the fresh asparagus we bought because I prefer it over the canned stuff.The last thing I grab is the can of biscuits from the refrigerator and grease a cookie sheet to place them on.
