Chapter Nineteen
Annistyn
I’VE BEEN BACK at theclubhouse for three weeks now and everything is better than I anticipated.Kreed and I spend time together every single day and we’ve started cooking dinner together at the house instead of eating at the clubhouse with everyone else.I do still go down there and hang out with Cali and everyone each day.I’m slowly getting to know the guys I never really spent time with before.During the day when Kreed’s at work, I head outside and take pictures around the compound.Some days I go into town and hang out at the park for a while taking pictures.Those days Roger meets me and we spend a few hours together.He’s been talking to me more about taking pictures of something other than nature and everyone at the clubhouse.Roger has done a few photoshoots for book covers and thinks it’s something I’d do really good at.It would definitely be out of my comfort zone, but I’m seriously thinking about doing it.I might practice with Kreed at the compound and see how they turn out before I make a final decision.
Cali and I went to Feral Fights the first week I was back and worked with Manic and Force.They put us through our paces and ended up giving us a workout plan we could definitely do at the clubhouse.I don’t mind going to the gym because everyone there is really nice.They’ve seen me with Kreed so they tend to leave me alone.The same with Cali because Reckless has been there with her.Most days we end up staying at the clubhouse and working out there during the day though.I really am enjoying being in there and building myself up even more.Kreed has also been working with me on boxing and self-defense.There’s a ring in a separate room at the clubhouse and we spar in there every night for a while after dinner.By the time I shower and climb into bed each night, I’m thoroughly exhausted and ready for sleep to claim me.Not to mention my body is sore from working out every day and I’ve discovered a great outlet when I can’t get out of my head.
Playboy, Sam, Tank, and Kreed’s mom are still here.They just informed us last night all of the clubs will be showing up again this weekend because they want to celebrate my return and just get together.I don’t think they truly need a reason to get together and party.Especially the single guys who are younger and they take full advantage of the Feral girls when they’re here.Not that I’m judging because everyone has the right to live their lives anyway they choose.I kind of envy them if I’m being honest because that’s how I’d love to live my life and I haven’t quite figured out how to do that yet.
“Are you gonna take pictures again today?”Kreed’s mom asks as she walks up to me where I sit in the kitchen.
Roger got me a new camera before I left the ranch and I’m still figuring out how to use it to its full capacity.I love it, but there’s something about using the camera my mom once used when she was still alive.
“Yeah.I’m still trying to figure out the new camera and this weekend will be the perfect opportunity for me to try different things,” I answer her as she pulls out the chair next to me and sits down.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course you can,” I respond, giving her my full attention as Luca enters the clubhouse with several bags of ice in his hands.
“Why are you always the one taking the pictures?You’re never in any of them,” she questions me, her voice a whisper as more people enter the common room.
For a minute I don’t answer her because I’ve never really thought about it.I just know there was never a reason for me to be in front of the camera.There still isn’t one if I’m being honest with myself.I’ve seen a picture or two Kreed has taken of me and I don’t really like them.Maybe I’m being too harsh on myself or it’s just because I’m not used to being in pictures.There were never any taken of me when I was growing up.It would mean my aunt and uncle actually cared about someone more than themselves.That won’t ever happen because they’re selfish as hell and always will be.The only reason they ever took me in is because of the money they got for me.
“I don’t need to be in the pictures.I’m happy to be behind the lens and take the pictures of everyone else,” I finally say in a quiet voice.
“What do you see when you take pictures?”she questions me as Cali takes a seat with us at the table.
“I see everyone happy, laughing, and living their best lives.I capture the memories they’re making so they have them for a lifetime,” I say as I look between the two women sitting with me.“I guess you could say I’m camera shy.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re living your best life or making memories, Annistyn,” Cali says with a sad smile on her face.
“I am though.I really enjoy taking pictures of everyone and watching the kids with such pure innocence as they race around the compound.I love seeing how protective the boys are of the girls already and how they all look up to the adults around them.That’s what makes me happy,” I say, trying to justify my love of taking pictures and being in the background instead of the center of attention.Not that anyone here is trying to be the center of attention because they aren’t.
“Today, I’m gonna take pictures of you and show you how amazing you look,” Cali says as an arm wraps around me from behind and I don’t have to look to know it’s Kreed.
“Hey, Pixie.You doin’ okay today?”he asks because he knows how I was the last time everyone was here at the clubhouse.
“I’m good, Kreed.Do you want something for lunch?I was getting ready to make myself something,” I ask him, tipping my head back to look at him as he keeps his arm around me.
One thing that has changed is the way Kreed always touches me.It’s not just holding hands like before.If he walks by, he’ll gently run a finger down my arm or lean into me when I’m in the kitchen so I’m caged in against the counter.He goes out of his way to reach above me for things, letting his hand linger on my hip or the small of my back.Every morning he presses a kiss against my forehead before getting out of bed.Even when I’m barely awake, he makes sure to give me a kiss before leaving the house for the day.Each gentle touch from him only serves to work me up and feel things I’ve never experienced before.
I want to touch Kreed, but I’m not that experienced and don’t know what I’m doing so I keep my hands to myself.Even when he doesn’t make it easy to do.Kreed walks around the house without a shirt on more often than he wears one.He’ll come in the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and nothing else until he grabs his shorts and goes back in to change.He won’t be completely naked in front of me and I’m grateful because I’m not sure how I’d handle it.
“I could eat,” he says, removing his arm from me and pulling me out of the chair.Together we walk in the kitchen and I head for the refrigerator.
It’s been fully stocked with everything we could possibly need while the other clubs are here.And it still won’t be enough to last the entire weekend.That’s one thing I learned the last time everyone was here.
“Ham sandwich okay?There’s some fruit I can cut up and chips,” I ask Kreed as he leans against the counter and watches me.
