“They’re both really nice,” she says, a blush coating her cheeks as she lowers her gaze like normal.
“Not happenin’, Pixie.You keep your head held high and join in the conversation with them.I’m gonna go grab a drink with the guys but I won’t be far and will stop at one drink if you need anythin’.Mom, I’ll come back in to visit with you once I’m done with my drink.You doin’ okay?”I tell her as she nods her head and looks at me.My mom nods in response to my question and I give her a kiss on her cheek before turning away from them.I can feel Annistyn’s eyes on me as I leave the kitchen and make my way to where Playboy and Tank sit at the bar.
“Kreed, it’s good to see ya,” Playboy greets me as I accept the beer from Laurie and give her a nod of appreciation.
“You too.Didn’t realize all the clubs were comin’ down today.Thought it was just gonna be your club, Tank, and Maddie,” I say, taking the seat between the two men I grew up admiring and wanting to be like.
“It was a last minute decision.Didn’t realize we’d get here to discover what this club has really been up to.You boys are doin’ a good thing here, Kreed,” Tank says while looking at me though I know he wants to know more than what he’s saying.“Why don’t the three of us head into the office and talk about some things.”
“Sounds good to me,” I tell him, standing up and leading them to my office instead of Caleb’s.I don’t move anything as they take a seat in the chairs across from me.The picture of Annistyn is the only one around from what I can tell because she prefers to be behind the camera lens.“So, what’s goin’ on?”
“Reckless introduced us to Annistyn.She’s a very beautiful girl,” Playboy says with a smile on his face.“Heard you just spent a week in the hospital with her.”
“I did.Look, I know there’s a lot of baggage that comes with her and I’m okay with it.I will do whatever it takes to help her work through everythin’ she’s been through in her life and make sure she thrives and becomes the woman she was always meant to be.From the very first second I saw her in that warehouse, I knew she was mine.Deep in my soul in a way I’ve never experienced with anyone else.Annistyn is my Pixie and I will do whatever it takes to protect her and show her she’s worthy of bein’ loved, cherished, and treated like a queen,” I tell the men in front of me as they look at one another before turning back to me with smiles on their faces.
“Good.That’s the answer we were lookin’ for,” Tank says, settling back in the chair.“I can see she’s broken, Kreed.It’s not gonna be an easy road with her at all.There will be days she’ll push you away because of her past.I don’t know what she’s been through, and I can see all the ways she’s been broken and beaten down.Not many others would, but I can pick it up.Especially with how Cali, Caleb, and Viper are hoverin’ around her.None of them have let her get too far away from them since we first got here.I’m thinkin’ she isn’t good in a crowd of people like this.”
“What I saw was the way you searched the room until you were told where she was.Your only concern was her and gettin’ to her.That tells me all I need to know about how you feel, Kreed.You’ve found your person and she’s your priority.You’ll always search the room for her when you walk in and won’t let anyone hurt her.This is how you’ve always been.When you have your people, you always search for them first.Now, you only search for Annistyn.You walked up to her and greeted her before you even said a word to your mom.That’s never happened before,” Playboy says as I lean back in my chair and fold my arms over my chest.
“Annistyn will always be my person.I think she’s lookin’ at findin’ a counselor right now and I know her cousin has a ranch she’s mentioned goin’ to.It’s more of a place for therapy and all of that.He works with all kinds of people and has a full staff of doctors, counselors, psychologists, the animals they use in therapy, and a lot of other things to help people.If she chooses to go to the ranch, I’ll support her completely.Anythin’ to ensure she learns how to handle her PTSD, deal with the trauma she’s been through, and cope with the anxiety she has.I’m not gonna get into her story, that’s not my thing to share.There’s more she needs to work on and I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure she gets whatever is necessary to heal and recover,” I vow to Annistyn despite her not being in the same room with us.
“She’s got an eatin’ disorder,” Tank states while keeping his eyes locked on me.“I can tell based on the way Cali and Viper are hoverin’ over her with a plate of food.She takes the smallest bites and I’ve watched her hesitate and go to push the plate away several times since we’ve been here.Everyone else is done eatin’ and she wouldn’t take a bite until your mom asked her why she wasn’t eatin’.That was her cue that it was okay.Her plate has small portions on it as well.Nothin’ wrong with her havin’ a disorder like that as long as you realize it won’t go away just because she goes to counseling and gets help.”
“I know it won’t.This is somethin’ she’ll deal with for the rest of her life and the days won’t always be good or easy.She’ll struggle to eat and ensure she gets the correct amount of food each day.Doc put her on a plan for now and will adjust it as needed.Right now the focus is her gettin’ protein and iron.Please don’t say anythin’.She doesn’t want a ton of people to know.I’m sure others will put the pieces together, but she would rather deal with this stuff herself with the small group of us she has to help her,” I practically plead with the two men before me even though I know it’s not necessary.They won’t ever share details about someone else unless it puts the club in danger or they see something truly hurting an individual and feel they can help.
“Skylar and Reagan are here.They’re gonna make sure that girl eats every day.They won’t push her, but they’ll make sure she’s fed.Reagan will put the pieces together before Skylar.One of her friends has an eatin’ disorder and she’s been helpin’ how she can.I’d be surprised if she hasn’t already figured it out,” Playboy informs me as I take a long pull from my beer.
“Good.I trust Reagan not to say too much to her in regards to makin’ her feel insecure about the situation.Skylar doesn’t know how to go anywhere and not make sure everyone around her is fed.One of the reasons I love that woman,” I say with a smile because everyone knows Skylar’s truest joy in life is feeding everyone around her.
“How much does your mom know about Annistyn?”Tank questions me as I realize I haven’t really said anything to her about the situation yet.
“Not much.She knows I have a girl I’m interested in, but that’s about it.I’m sure she’s figured it out by now.My mom isn’t stupid.With the way Cali’s been glued to her side, mom will know there’s a reason for it.I didn’t want to say too much and jinx the situation.I’m takin’ everything extremely slowly with Annistyn because it’s what she needs from me.I refuse to push her too hard or fast into anythin’.Caleb knows how I feel for sure.Calie and Viper too.It doesn’t take a genius to realize I plan on makin’ Annistyn mine.We haven’t had that talk yet, but it will happen when I think she’s ready.My current focus is makin’ sure she’s okay.She literally just got out of the hospital today,” I inform Playboy and Tank who haven’t taken their eyes off of me since I started talking.
“Anythin’ we should know about when it comes to her?”Playboy asks me as he picks up the picture on my desk.
Annistyn is standing out back with her head tilted back and her eyes closed.The sun is shining down on her while a gentle breeze blows a few strands of her hair across her face like it’s hiding her from view.There’s a serene smile on her face I’ve only been lucky enough to witness a few times since she got here.Annistyn’s hair is almost glowing and the blue tint the sun brings out shines brighter than normal.It’s my favorite picture of her.I have a few on my phone that I’ve managed to take when she wasn’t paying attention.Especially when she was photographing the kids around the clubhouse.Annistyn is completely absorbed in the pictures and having the time of her life.She’s free and at peace in ways I’ve never seen at any other time.
“She typically sleeps durin’ the day.She has a hard time sleepin’ at night because she has nightmares.I end up in her room a few times a week with her.I guess she’ll have to give up her room for now though.I’m not complainin’ though.Anyway, when she’s up in the middle of the night, she cleans the clubhouse.It takes her a long time because of how weak she is, but she gets it done.Annistyn has also made breakfast for everyone in the club when she’s up cleanin’.When she talks, you really have to pay attention because her voice is barely above a whisper.The reason is hers to tell, but I’ve been able to piece enough of her story together to realize why.And she always keeps her gaze on the floor at her feet.You’ll rarely have her eyes on you for any reason,” I tell them and I already know Tank plans on talking to her.There isn’t a single woman or man in this clubhouse he hasn’t helped at one point or another.He’s the man we all go to because he doesn’t judge and listens no matter how long we want to vent or talk.Especially with the women.
“A few of us have been put up in the houses and others have tents out back.There’s only a handful of guys stayin’ here in the clubhouse.If I understand it right, Cali already helped Annistyn move her things into your room.I’m guessin’ she hasn’t shared a room with a guy before based on her reaction,” Playboy says as he sets my picture of Annistyn back down where I can see it.
“She doesn’t know I climb in bed with her when she has nightmares,” I say as Tank starts laughing.
“She knows.That girl has conditioned herself to know when anyone gets close to her.When you hold her durin’ and after a nightmare, she knows.When she’s cleanin’ the clubhouse and you’re watchin’ her from the shadows, because we all know you do that shit, Annistyn knows you’re there.Her body will know before she puts the pieces in her mind together.Don’t ever think you can pull somethin’ like that over on her.I saw the way she watched us all interact and enter the room.Annistyn knows exactly how close people are to her and it won’t change in sleep if her trauma has been bad enough.She’s a light sleeper even if she can’t wake up from the nightmares she has.Keep doin’ what you’re doin’ and she’ll get where she needs to be.There’s a determination and strength buried deep inside her and she’s ready to heal.She just needs to know what will be waitin’ for her when she comes back,” Tank says, his voice gentle as I let his words sink in because I should have realized Annistyn would always know when I’m close to her.
“Let’s join the rest of the clubs.I see the kids gettin’ fucked tonight and we’ll be on kid duty,” Playboy says as we all stand and leave my office just as Caleb goes to knock on the door.
“Annistyn is ready to head upstairs.She’s gettin’ really overwhelmed and I can see her about to go into panic mode.You need to get her outta here, Kreed,” Caleb informs me as I rush from them and find my girl in the kitchen surrounded by men and women.
Nothing is happening that’s out of the ordinary for us when we’re all together.It’s just not anything Annistyn is used to experiencing.I can see the panic in her eyes as Cali tries to shield her from the group.
“Get the fuck outta the way!”I yell out, my voice causing everyone to go quiet and turn to look at me as I rush to Annistyn’s side.“Let’s get you up to bed, Pixie.”
She nods her head at me and I help her out of the chair she’s been in and tuck her face into my chest as Reckless and Viper clear a path for us.No one says a word or stares at us as I get Annistyn away before she has a panic attack.We’ve all seen them with Cali and no one will judge her for it, but I know it’s the last thing she wants to have witnesses for.She’s embarrassed about them.So, the best thing I can do is get her out of the situation and somewhere safe where she can be alone.I lead her upstairs to my room and quickly unlock the door before ushering her inside and shutting us in the room alone.Annistyn doesn’t let go of me as I walk her into the bathroom and get a shower started for her.We don’t speak as I wait for her outside of the door because I don’t want to be too far from her.If this is where we spend most of our time while the clubs are here, I’ll be okay with it.Anything Annistyn needs is what I’ll give her.
