She touches my forearm this time. “I’m doing good! What are you up to after church today?”
She’s batting eyelashes at me. It’s subtle… but I take a step away from her. There’s nothing wrong with her, I’m just not interested. I want to be polite about it.
“I’m dropping the kids off, then going home.”
I see John making a beeline towards me. Phew.
“Nate!” He greets me, clapping me on the back.
“John, how’s it going?”
“It’s going well,” he says as he turns to Flavia. “It’s good to see you, Flavia!”
They chat back and forth, and I turn to look at my little kids playing as my mind begins to drift. It’s always good to be in church. It refreshes my soul, especially after the last few weeks. But it also helps that my kids are with me. My heart shatters when they leave. When they’re here, I’m just trying to glue the pieces back together again. I don’t know if that’ll ever go away. I miss them so much, the ache is too real. I’m having to adjust to a new reality where I don’t see them every day.
Flavia says goodbye, and I tune back in as I see John turning back to me.
“Thanks for the save. I see what you did there,” I chuckle.
He laughs. “I have your back. I could see it a mile away. What have you and the kids been up to this weekend?” he asks.
“I just took Daniel and Bea around the shopping mall. We grabbed some lunch while we were there, and then we went to the pool after.”
“That’s great. They seem like they’re doing well?” he asks, raising his brow. The kids are busy playing with each other and talking so I’m not worried about them overhearing.
“I think they’re as well as they can be. Bea’s taking it the hardest. I never know what she’s hearing at home… but every time I pick her up, there’s a wall between us I have to chip away at first.”
John sighs. “I’m sure you’re finding that challenging.”
I run a hand through my hair. “Yeah. But it always comes down, and she’s back to being my little girl. I think she’s just hurt. Every time I drop her off, she hugs me so tightly like she never wants to let go.”
“It’ll get easier. It’s so fresh,” he says as we both watch the children play.
“I hope so. How are things with you and Maria?” I ask, glad for the chance to steer things into lighter waters.
It’s not that I want to avoid these conversations entirely, especially not with John… but Idowant to avoid these conversations for now. My heart feels miserable and I need hope and joy infused back into it.
“Maria is doing great. She’s been baking a lot recently.”
I blow out a breath. “If her baking is as good as her cooking, you’re going to gain a lot of weight, my friend.”
He laughs. “Have you not noticed me already gaining weight? It’s not my fault she creates food that makes me double up on portions.”
“Or sneaking in some midnight snacks?” I chuckle.
“There’s no midnight snacks. They’re gone way before that,” he deadpans.
I laugh. “Well, you better start up one of those fitness regimes if she’s going to start makingbrigadeiros.” Those chocolate condensed milk truffles are the nation’s favorite. They’re everywhere and are pretty irresistible.
“I think I just might have to!”
We continue chatting for a little while, before I signal to Daniel and Bea that it’s time to get going. I have to drop them off at their mom’s house today after church. I could’ve let their grandfather take them home—he goes to the same church—but I won’t give up a single extra minute with them.
I lead them into the car, and make sure they’re strapped in. The drive to their mother’s new house isn’t long, and I’m never far from them. It makes me feel a little better at least.
We arrive at Iris's house too quickly after putting on some fun music in the car.
I hop out of the car as they climb out behind me.
