His eyes met mine, and I drank in their unique beauty because I knew I wouldn’t be looking into them again. He waited a good while before finally saying, “If that’s what you want.”
My whole chest throbbed as if my heart wanted to claw past its rib cage and go with Malone instead. “Yes, that’s what I want.”
It’s not in the least what I want.
He got to the door and stopped. “Are you sure?”
I nodded, but I had my fingers crossed behind my back to negate the lie. “Don’t forget the ice cream.”
He got the bag and paused beside me on his way out the door. He inhaled deeply, and I waited for him to speak, but he shook his head as if getting rid of the thought. Instead, he leaned down to kiss my cheek. “Goodbye, Stella Stark. Remember your worth. Anyone who doesn’t see you as a goddess doesn’t deserve to be with you.”
At the door, he turned a second time. “I think ... I think I’ll go to Denver early because ...”
He didn’t finish that thought, and he didn’t have to. I nodded my agreement.
Long after he left, I still stood by the door, absently rubbing my breastbone.
I felt hollowed out.
In the midst of a bone-crushing weight of sadness, I tried to chuckle, but the sound came out more as a hiccup sob.
Over time the worst day in a person’s life could change. I knew that now.
The next day I found a bag tied to my doorknob. Inside was my purple thong, along with a note:
It’s such a nice set. It would be a shame to break it up.
Chapter 39
“You are such an idiot,” Havisham said.
“What’s going on over here?” asked Betty. “I’m too old to break up fights. That’s why they moved me out here, away from where all the nightclubs are.”
“We’re not going to fight,” I said.
“Oh, we might fight,” Havisham said.
Salcedo, who was sitting beside me tonight, reached across the table to put a hand on her forearm. “Let her be. She’s had a rough couple of days.”
“Of her own making.”
“I am right here, so you don’t have to talk about me in the third person,” I said before turning to Salcedo. “And you’re going to take down the website, right?”
“Yeah, if I have to.”
“Well, I can’t afford to lose my main job due to ethics complaints, now can I?”
“That’s ridiculous.” Havisham practically spit the words out.
“Maybe so, but I gotta eat, and I gotta pay you back. Also, I’m the one who had the breakup, so what’s eating you up?”
She tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. “I found my billionaire cowboy philanthropist, and I was counting on you to prove to me that this whole signs-from-the-universe bullshit might have something to it.”
“You, of all people, know better than to look for signs from the universe,” I said. “And Trace isn’t a billionaire cowboy philanthropist anyway.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know,” I said, even if I hadn’t actually looked him up.
