“I’m tired of him,” she said.
“I heard that,” he called from his station in front of the griddle.
“I meant for you to,” she yelled over her shoulder before turning back to me. “Where have you been?”
“Oh, you know ... paralegal homework, found a kitten, PI stuff ...”And getting most deliciously laid but then having multiple existential crises about the whole thing because I apparently suffer from foreboding joy, a thing I learned from Brené Brown, the author, not the cat. Why enjoy things when you could spend your time waiting for the other metaphorical shoe to drop?
“Huh.” Betty stared through me as though she’d read my mind and decided it was a scary place.
“True story.” I held up both hands in surrender.
“Worried you’d moved off to Alaska or something since I hadn’t seen you.”
“C’mon, Betty. I can’t come in here every night. I gotta work. Bills to pay and all that.”
“Whatever,” she said as she hobbled away. “Coffee? Chicken biscuit? Hashbrowns scattered?”
“You know me so well.”
Havisham said something to Salcedo as they entered the Waffle House. They each slid into the booth across from me. With a sigh, I took the fifty from my pocket and slapped it on the table in front of Havisham.
Salcedo literally squealed.
Havisham palmed the fifty and smiled, something she didn’t do that often. “I’m so proud of you, Stark.”
“How was it?” asked Salcedo.
“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.”
“One, you aren’t a lady,” said Havisham. “Two, only gentlemen are bound by that stricture.”
“Well,” I said, but then the words didn’t come to me.
Salcedo clamped a hand on Havisham’s arm. “She’s blushing! Look at her! She’s blushing!”
“I knew you weren’t telling me everything,” said Betty, who’d appeared by our booth. “What were you really up to?”
“Getting laid,” Havisham said.
Betty whooped. “You hear that, Jasper?”
“Hear what?” he called over the sizzle of his griddle.
“Oh, you never mind,” she said before taking the rest of our orders. We waited until we had our drinks, napkins, and silverware before returning to the discussion.
“Again I ask you, how was it?” Salcedo practically leaned over the table. At least she could keep her voice down when asking questions, though.
“Both the best and the worst of my life,” I said.
“You make no sense, Stark.” Havisham took a sip of coffee.
“It was absolutely the best sex of my life, but also the worst because now I am ruined for all other men. Here I agreed to a friends-with-benefits situation, and he’s going back to California ... so I’ll just have to enjoy it while I can.”
Havisham arched an eyebrow. “And?”
“Did you not hear a word I just said? It’s like getting a taste of the best chocolate cake you’ve ever eaten while knowing you’ll never get to have that particular cake ever again.”
“Heard it all,” she said at the same time Salcedo said, “The contract can be renegotiated. Long distance is a thing. At least until you get tired of us and move to California.”
