“Welcome toRise and Shine Atlanta! I’m your host, Alavita Hodges, and this morning we’ll be talking with Vivian Quackenbush, headmistress of the Mom Scouts and one of her fellow scouts, Abi Givens. Good morning, ladies!”
We both said hello, but the lights around us were bright and distracting.
“First things first—can we get you to repeat your line from the meme that’s taking social media by storm?”
I blinked. Oh, yes. “My chicken salad is ah-mazing!”
Alavita laughed. “I don’t know why I find that so funny, but I do. Let’s take a look at your latest video, and then you can tell me more about what inspired you.”
My mouth went dry. I’d thought we were going to discuss my original video.
Members of the crew chuckled as the short video about Parker ended, and all eyes were on us once again. Alavita said, “And you were telling me that Mr. Always, your neighbor Parker, isn’t single? Say it isn’t so.”
Great. Now Alavita was repeating my severely stretched truth to everyone in the metro Atlanta area.
“Well, um, his wife passed,” I said.
“Recently, I believe you said?”
I could only nod.
Oh, good. A repeated lie. Telling lies always ends well.
I could feel Abi’s stare. I prayed Alavita didn’t ask me any more questions about Parker or his wife.
“Well, those are some tempting forearms in those pictures. He’s also featured in the video where you use hem tape on a dress, isn’t he?”
“Yes, yes, he is.” I forced a smile to my lips. This was bad. I hadn’t thought this through. When Abi had mentioned that Alavita always managed to “get the tea,” I hadn’t considered the fact that she’d want to brew a pot ofmysecrets.
“I do like a man who can take instruction,” Alavita said. “Now, tell me. What led you to form the Mom Scouts?”
This was safer territory. I held up the framed photo and introduced Rachel—no last name—and explained why she couldn’t be there. Then I went through some of our trials and tribulations as mothers who’d learned more calculus than homeownership skills. I explained a few of our experiments and our new abiding love of YouTube as a place wherewe could go to learn new skills. I ended with a weak, “Originally, I wanted to share some of our life hacks.”
“And now?”
“Now it’s more about giving yourself credit for handling some of the crap life throws your way: standing up for yourself, maintaining friendships, spreading your wings.”
“Like your karaoke.”
“Exactly! For me, that was something I’d always wanted to do but had been a little scared to try.”
“Let’s take a look, shall we?”
I opened my mouth to tell her that the karaoke video had been taken down, but her crew must’ve saved a copy before YouTube axed it. I relaxed as Rachel, Abi, Mom, and I sang a raucous “That’s What Friends Are For.”
“That’s your mother beside you in the video, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is,” I said with a confidence that was taken right out of my sails by Alavita’s next question.
“Didn’t she teach you any of these things? You know, the life hacks or the self-esteem building?”
My mind detected danger, but my mouth kept moving. “Alavita,” I said in a bid to buy some time and with the hope that Abi might jump in and save me, “my mother worked really hard—especially after her divorce. She didn’t have time to teach me those things.”
That satisfied Alavita. She turned to Abi but had a hard time getting answers of more than two words from her. At this point, I could almost feel Abi’s chair vibrating and looked down to see she was tapping her foot. Before I could say or do anything—and, really, what could I say or do since we were on live television?—Alavita was addressing me again. “But your most popular video isn’t about life hacks, is it? Or are you going to help other women get their Divorce Badges?”
This wasn’t going the way I’d hoped at all.
“Uh, I’m not a professional, so I can’t reallyhelpother women get a divorce, but I would love for them to know they aren’t alone.”
