“Strange. I’ve been… trying to remember, but I can’t.”
“You already remember everything you need. Me. I’ll be your everything.”
"But, I don't even have a name."
"I'll give you a new name. Your name is Tristan."
Of course, that was not what I wanted, to only remember my rapist, my captor, the psychotic pedophile in chief, but I simply nodded to him. “How is the girl?” I asked as I sat up.
“Girl?” His expression indicated he had no idea who I could be talking about.
“The girl that was on the table the night Mael stabbed me.”
“Oh, yes… she’s dead.” He declared her death so abruptly, nodding excessively and shrugging, with his eyes not meeting mine. I followed his every move with my gaze as he wandered aimlessly. I kept the mask of nonchalance on my face, but my heart was breaking. “Yeah, she’s gone.”
“What happened to her?”
“You don’t remember?” He looked extremely suspicious, but I kept the mask on while shaking my head.
“Well, it’s all settled anyway. Nathan, the guy before you, cut her up a little too deep by her kidney. Everything before didn’t help either. You know, this is why I don’t like girls. Weak as fuck. She bled out and...” He shrugged a shoulder and sighed again. “We harvested both their kidneys. So… in the end, it was good for business.”
A big part of me went into grieving immediately after hearing the words, and there was a sinking sensation of abandonment. My little one had left me behind, here, in hell.
“Does it upset you? Her dying?”
With my one healthy eye, I stared at him for a little too long, not understanding his question. “Oh, no.” I shrugged. “Girls don’t belong here. Everybody knows that. Why was she here, anyway? If... I may ask?”
“She was Mael’s three-year obsession. But thank God that’s over. I won’t have to hear about his frustrations at getting rejected by some little nobody whore. Her parents are fucking American, for Christ’s sake. As if we’d let that trash into the royal family again.” He was so frustrated and tired of it all.
In the meantime, I wondered where I had come from. Every time I asked him a question about my past, he’d tell me not to worry cause all that was gone. He walked over to me and gently held my intact cheek. To keep from flinching and stay staring into his eyes, I had to soak up all the energy in the universe like a superhero.
“Anyways... You are going to look like some kind of a sexy pirate when they finally take all these bandages off.” He smiled, and in response, I thinned my lips to mirror him.
“Thanks.”
“When you get out of here, I’m going to take you somewhere nice.”
I lay back against the lifted bed. “I’d liked that.” My eyes were heavy.
“You’re looking a lot better, but I know you’re tired. And I want you to get out of here as soon as possible, so I’m going to let you go back to sleep. Okay?”
I nodded. He gave me a quick gentle peck on my lips, and like nothing, he turned and left. Despite my exhaustion, I couldn’t close my eyes, remembering that girl. I wish I could have had a picture of her, something that would help me remember every detail. What was her favorite color? Song? All I knew was that it hurt so much that she was no longer in the world even though I’d been the one to kill her.I saved her. She would have lived a terrible life next to him. Girls shouldn’t live in this world. It’s too disgusting, too dark.I kept trying to convince myself, but it was impossible.
Why did I kill her if I couldn’t handle it? Jesus.I tried to recuperate, but it was shocking how painful it was. I lowered my gaze to the tiles on the floor as the images exploded in my mind. My fingers still had the memory of how the knife felt, how much force they’d had to use to break her skin and all the tissues beneath it to kill her. I had taken her life.
I’m a terrible person, a fucking monster, just like him, but I didn’t want to be. Silently, I wept at my situation. I couldn’t even sob like a normal kid because there was a camera staring at me. I knew he was watching me. So I had to hold my breath and only cried for three seconds for the girl I’d killed and the guilt Ifelt about it.I’m sorry, Little One. I hope you’re having fun in heaven. What’s it like over there?
My heart fell to my stomach, yet some relief filled me. I didn’t think I’d ever had so much conflict in my mind. I’d wanted her to die so she could be safe and free from this place, yet I was in tears that she was gone. The image of her sobbing and begging for him came to my mind. “Killian...” she’d said, with trembling lips and eyebrows and tears trailing down her temples right after I’d stabbed her.
What had happened to him, to the pet? Had he killed him too? I’d forgotten to ask, and now the opportunity had passed. Master had never been this open with me before. I swallowed deep.
Because I survived, Drs. Avery and Miller went up the ranks, and strangely, they seemed very happy with me, as if I’d survived for their sake. They both helped me. It was a subtle, silent, and slow-forming agreement that came together between them, others, and me.
I was kept in the clinic for a month more than needed. Apparently, the people in league with Master didn’t darecondemn his activities, but they tried to help where they could sometimes. It was as if there was an undercurrent of disapproval. Every time Master was about to enter my recovery room, a young male nurse would alert me, and I’d act as weak and sick as possible.
If I had to continue living in this hellhole, taking his abuse, then I needed to do two things: disarm Mael and gather all the power I could to solidify Master’s trust and move up the ranks. I didn’t want to continue being just a victim. I had made a promise to myself that one day I would destroy him. Killian would have appreciated that. Hell, even Mael would appreciate that, even if just in part. Probably half the slaves had tried to do the same, but the difference here was that I meant it and knew I could do it.
It turned out to be easy. Master didn’t really love either of his sons. Like everything else having to do with him, it was a lie. He acted as if he loved them, but really, they just annoyed him. Yes, I was surprised to learn Mael had a twin who they kept locked up in a room like a rabid animal. Therefore, all I had to do to win any argument was keep my cool, then Mael’s protests and arguments would get turned down. Everyone in the place hated him anyway.
