“You okay, Killian?” Madame Lavigne’s voice was muffled but still startled me. In trying to find a way to escape them, I had not even noticed her walk out of the building to me. “Killian?”
I nodded to reassure her and, with much haste, jumped off the banister and ran inside while ignoring the headache and dizziness. I rushed through two halls before finding her. She’d just turned a corner. Seeing her ahead of me, calmed my desperation and craving to have my brain yanked out and hammered back to normal. I squeezed my eyes shut at the vibrating pain. She was walking slowly, searching every door with a paper in her hand, lost. I leaned against a wall, admiring her. The school bell rang.
“Killian…” Madame Lavigne called, so I turned around and marched to class, hoping I wouldn’t vomit and/or faint from the headache. In my chair, I sat holding my head, pressing and massaging my temples, out of breath.
“What’s wrong with you now, fuck face?” Mael asked, and some of his friends chuckled, but I ignored them.
There was too much happening. The voices were out of control like never before.
Get her back.
I tried to calm my breathing and focus on one thing so that maybe they’d shut up.
I miss her.
Go back. Miiiiiiiiiiissssssssssss her.
Go back to her.
We miss her.
FuccccckkkkkkkkK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shut up! Shut up!I screamed in my mind at them. It was so real that after, I scanned the class checking to see if I had indeed screamed, but, thank God, I hadn’t.
Go back. Where is she?
What if something happens to her?
There are monsters everywhere.
Don’t let them take her away! How can you do this? Go back to her.
The big bad wolf will eat her.
I didn’t hear when the door closed, when the teacher walked in, or when the school bell rang for the last time. It did help a little bit that all the other students grew silent, waiting for our teacher to start the class, but I still had my head down, sometimes opening my eyes to the darkness created by my arms.
“Today, we have a new student in our class, and I expect everyone to treat her with kindness and respect,” Madame Lavigne announced in French. “This is Magdalena Michaelson.”
At the sound of a new student, I lifted my head. It was everything I wanted yet I couldn’t believe it.No way!She stood with her shoulders back, her chin up, right next to our teacher and her big desk at the front of the classroom. The door was just closing. The world gradually emerged from the dark fog. My heart had stopped rushing because of the running and continued because she was right there. Scanning the room, there were several places she could sit but I closed my eyes and prayed to God with all my heart that she would end up sitting in the empty chair right in front of me.
She had the air of a queen, looking down at her subjects. One would expect her to be nervous on the first day with everyone, including me, gawking at her, but no. She didn’t give a damn, and I loved it. It made me titer and inspect the faces of the rest of the students for their reactions. This was going to be interesting. Then, it dawned on me.Her name… it’s not French, it’s English. And I’ve never heard it at Uncle Ric’s parties. Her parents don’t come to the parties!Excitement energized every cell in my body to dancing. The relief was exhilarating. There was a stadium’s worth of applause coming from my mind. No one in the class was clapping.
She’s here. She’s in our class. Magdalena.
Mag…da…lena… Maaagggggg dalena….
Stop that,I commanded them.
Just call her what she is, ouraingeal.
Angel. Sweetest of angels.
Most beautiful of heavenly creatures.
So beautiful. The most beautiful.
“Hi Magdalena,” the entire classroom except me drawled. Her gaze landed on me, but she purposefully and quickly looked away. She was avoiding me?
