How the sun glistened in her black hair and the wind picked up her loose strands caught my eye. I couldn’t understand what I was gawking at. At the time, the words to describe the beauty I was witnessing didn’t exist in my vocabulary. I had to settle for the simple word—pretty. Much later in life, I’d learn the definitions to more accurate descriptions, such as mesmerizing, intoxicating, or incomprehensible. Each of those terms reminded me of that moment, and her beauty sparkled like a cut diamond in the sun.
Wow… So pretty. Pretty Wow.
Wow… Wow… Alainn. So alainn.
Even at my age, I knew it wasn’t normal the way everything slowed down. It made me wonder if I was hallucinating again.
Beautiful. Magical. Wow… She looks happy.
Beautiful. Wow… Wow… Wow…
At the first sight of her smile, my ears popped, and suddenly, I heard the world so clearly. The sounds were no longer muffled,and there were no muttering voices in my mind.
God, I had missed being free of them so much.
No one could possibly understand how much I missed clearly hearing birds chirping, bugs buzzing, and the breeze tickling the trees, forcing them to dance and sing that amazing sound.Whoooosh.
On the front lawn, ten steps down from where I sat, kids gathered, talked, giggled, and played, and I could hear it all to the fullest for the first time in years. The relief indescribable, tears filled my eyes and distorted my view of her. I wanted to soak it all in and take it with me.Please, God, don’t let them come back. Please.
I scanned the area for anyone who’d noticed the world had changed, but as usual, I was on my own. Only, this time, this seemed to be a good experience, one I was enjoying, not terrified of.
The minute I saw it, I knew I’d never forget it. I recognized the smile on her face as something the sun envied. Its familiarity drew my own as if I’d seen it before or known it in a different lifetime. I couldn’t remember how long it had been since I’d genuinely smiled about something good and beautiful. But she wasn’t looking at me. It was directed at the intimidatingly tall and built man who’d walked to school with her, holding her hand. He was probably her father. I didn’t care how scary he appeared to be. Already, I knew she was worth me risking my life.
I’d never seen anything that beautiful. She spread her arms, and he gladly embraced her, then picked her up, swaying with her while smiling, making her laugh. I was relieved to see and know that he loved her and that she was content, like I had been in my golden days.
Maybe it was because I didn’t pay that much attention to people, but I’d never seen so much genuine happiness before.They were saying their goodbyes. As he walked away, he turned to her and waved to her a few times more, making her chuckle again before she redirected her attention toward the building. I knew all her happiness had been genuine because the smile stayed on her face long after he left.
Unlike everyone else, she didn’t have a drop of shame at the affection they’d just displayed. She was laser focused, walking toward the big wooden front doors as if she herself was going to open them. Her shoulders were pulled back, and her eyes straight ahead. I was sure the only reason none of the pests in the school teased her was because they didn’t know her. They crowded the entrance as the principal opened the doors.
She climbed the many steps into the building, passed me, then when she walked in, the world returned to its usual speed as if I’d just dropped out of a wormhole.
“Hang onto her, to the one you’ll give this ring to,” Nana repeated to me, or maybe I was just remembering her saying it. I couldn’t tell the difference because her voice was so real, as if she was sitting right next to me whispering it into my ear. Then the other voices crowded and muffled out all the other sounds of the world around me.
My Love.
Mine.
Love of my life.
My love.
Myaingeal.
While I pictured the girl’s face giggling, they spoke over each other. It was as if they were savage animals who’d been freed from cages. They were all eager to say something.
I’ll never forget you. Everything.
Best friend. Everything.
Meant to be. You must be mine. Everything.Meant to be.
Everything. Take her and run. Everything. Must protect her.
MINE.
Having them rush back into my mind, crowding it, after tasting the peacefulness of their absence, was overwhelming and flustering. Although I was practically alone, I felt claustrophobic. I stopped breathing while hugging my legs to my chest, resting my forehead on my knees and praying they’d calm down and that the sudden headache would go away.
There was no way of knowing how long it had been, but everyone had already walked in.
