He can’t get us over into the right lane until a tractor trailer moves, so he flips the turn signal, and we wait. I grab the map to look for our options.
Just as we’re beginning to speed up a little, and I see the Pennsylvania Welcome Center is just a half a mile ahead, Ethan suddenly slams on the brakes, causing the Blazer to swerve a little, and I grab onto the dash.
I look over at Ethan, who’s face is as pale as the snow outside, and his eyes wide. “What happened?”
“Fuck,” he chokes out. “Fuck.” He turns around to look behind us, then turns the Blazer to the left onto the center median between the highway lanes.
“What are you doing?” I grab the steering wheel, trying to turn us back on the road. Cars honk behind us.
“I forgot him,” Ethan shouts at me. “We have to go back! I left Ev’s ashes at Denny’s!”
10
Ethan
October 24th, 1993
Likes:
-taking pictures at the river
-riding home with Shane after going to the river
-Dairy Queen Cookie Dough Blizzards
-the way the air smells after burning leaves
-mashed potatoes on a cold afternoon
-that dark corner in the back stairwell where the florescent light is out
-finding notes from Shane in my locker
-having my own thing with Shane, without Everett (although, admittedly, I feel bad about that)
Dislikes:
-raking leaves
-being in 3rd lunch rather than 1st (Shane’s lunch but also Everett’s)
-Mom & Dad saying I can’t get a job permit b/c school is more important (even though they let Ev do it)
-homophobia
-being afraid of my feelings b/c of the above
-having no one to talk to about either of the above
-wishing I could talk to Shane about all of the above
SATURDAY NOV. 4, 1993
I can’t believe today.
It was crazy, but I guess it wasn’t at first. Shane drove us to the river in the afternoon. It was kind of cold, but there were still people out walking around, so Shane took us up a ways, almost all the way to Lyons Falls to the preserve.
We were having fun, talking and laughing. He had me stand out on a rock in the middle of the water. There were other little rocks leading up to it and my shoes got kinda wet walking across them. Shane had me stick my hand in the current with the water flowing over it. Then we found these big rocks that went across from one side of the river to the other.
