Quirky wasn’t the word I had in mind. It struck me as horrifically ironic that Danny and Brooke had died in a car crash in a place that didn’t allow cars.
The road crossed the river and Rory turned into a driveway on the left. We found ourselves in a courtyard. There was a beautiful ivy clad, honey stone inn with a stone slate roof, multiple chimneys, quoined mullion windows, and even pink roses growing around the stone porch. Dormer windows suggested there were three floors in the main building, and there was also a large annexe attached. I realised it was no ordinary country inn.
We pulled up and stared at the solid oak door and the latticed windows.
‘It’s old,’ I said.
‘Fifteenth century,’ Rory told me. ‘It used to be two houses, an old pub and a stable block, but the pub and the houses were converted into one large building about a hundred years ago. Then the stable block was converted into two separate holiday cottages about fifty years ago.’
‘Are we booked into one of the cottages?’ I asked hopefully. If there was going to be a lot of arguments during this short break it would be nice to have a bit of privacy.
‘No.’ Rory sounded apologetic. ‘They were already fully booked.’
‘In April?’
‘This is a very popular place. The ratings and reviews are fantastic.’
‘I expect it cost a lot.’
‘It wasn’t cheap, but I thought it was worth it.’
‘Did you?’
He took a deep breath. ‘Look, Kirsty, I know this has been a shock to you?—’
‘A shock?’ I gave a bitter laugh. ‘I don’t think that even begins to cover it.’
‘Maybe not, but do you understand why I had to bring us here? We need to face up to the ghosts of the past. Danny’s gone. I’m your husband now. It’s time to move on or…’ His teeth nipped at his lower lip, betraying his nerves. ‘Or let go.’
I turned sharply to face him. ‘Let go? Is that what you want?’ My chest felt tight and I was suddenly breathless. Had it really come to this?
But what did I expect? I knew I was holding back from Rory. I’d always known it. I just didn’t know how to break through the wall I’d built between us. I wasn’t even sure therewasa way to do that.
‘Of course it’s not what I want,’ he said desperately. ‘I wouldn’t have brought you here if I wanted to give up on us. This is all I could think of to make us deal with whatever it is that’s stopping you moving forward. I know it’s hard for you, but don’t you think it’s hard for me too? Being second best. Second choice. How can I live up to the sainted Danny? And there I go again, hating myself for even saying that. God, this is a mess.’
‘You’re not second best! Don’t even think that.’
He gave me a troubled look. ‘But that’s how you make me feel sometimes, Kirsty. Maybe you don’t mean to, but…’
I blinked away tears, wondering how he could have got things so wrong. I wished I could explain to him, tell him the whole truth. But I couldn’t face it. He would never look at me the same way again.
‘So, will you stay here?’ he asked gently. ‘Will you give it – us – a final chance?’
Rowan Vale. The place where Danny and Brooke had died. Where a part of me had died, too. Because how could I ever be fully alive again knowing what I knew? I wanted to scream at Rory to turn the car around and take me home as fast as possible. I wanted to tell him that if he wanted to fix us, this was the last possible place he should have brought me. I wanted to make him understand that, if he couldn’t deal with me the way I was now, there was no hope, because I couldn’t think of a way to change, and I couldn’t see any way forward for us both. This was as good as it was going to get. I had nothing left to give him.
But there was that hint of hope in his voice, and an undisguised plea in his eyes, and I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t take any more guilt. I had to go along with this, no matter what. After all, wasn’t that what I did best? Going along with things. Taking the easy way out.
I nodded, swallowing down the emotion that threatened to choke me. ‘Fine,’ I said. ‘Four nights. How bad can it be?’
Oh, I had no idea…
10
I really couldn’t fault The Quicken Tree Inn. Believe me, I tried. I was hoping there’d be mould on the walls or stray hairs in the bathroom – anything to justify me saying that we should check out immediately, go home and forget all about this place.
Unfortunately for me, the room was perfect. It was spacious and light, with an enormous bed that was clean and comfortable. We had a rolltop bath, a lovely squashy sofa, a large TV, a mini fridge and tea and coffee making facilities. There were also stunning views over the grounds at the back, which the manageress, who’d introduced herself as Penny, told us extended to four acres.
The pub was clearly popular, as we could see through the door that the bar was already busy when we made our way to the reception. The oak beams and slate floor told the tale of how old it really was, and I’d expected to find quite poky bedrooms as a result. Clearly, the renovation of this place had been exceptional, with the comfort of guests at the forefront.
