"Away from me?"
"He doesn't know about you," I admitted. "I didn't write about you in my letters, and I'm certain we don't have spies in the Citadel, not Elurian ones, anyway. The converts are Sitorian-influenced. He knows I'm training to be a dragon rider, but he never thought I would actually make it this far."
I was so glad I'd refrained from mentioning Kailin in my letters home. If I had, the summons would certainly be about separating me from her.
"Perhaps Codric wrote to his family about me?" Kailin suggested.
"He didn't. I told him not to."
The hurt expression on her face was like a dagger to my heart. It was obvious why I had kept her existence from anyone back home, but seeing her reaction made me question that decision.
"Using a fake illness as manipulation is awful," she murmured. "It's flat-out lying."
Lies were the most grievous offense to the followers of Elu, but I had a feeling she wasn't as appalled by that as by the implications of why I hadn't told anyone back home about her.
"It's politics," I said. "It's all about manipulation and leverage and using whatever tools you have."
She put the letter down and took my hand. "What do you want to do?"
"Stay. Bond with a dragon. Be with you."
"But what if he dies and you didn't go? You'd regret it forever."
"But if I go and it's fake, I'll miss everything that matters, and I'll be so angry at my father that I'll probably never speak to him again. I probably won't be allowed to return, and then what happens to the prophecy?" I pulled away and stood, pacing our room. "The Council would find reasons to keep me home."
"You need to talk to Saphir."
"And say what? I think my father might be faking an illness to manipulate me, but I'm not sure."
"He might have insight. Or at least grant you leave if you need it."
I shook my head. "I'll write back and ask for more information."
"How long would that take?"
"Two weeks for the letter to get there. Two more for a response. At minimum."
The option of making a phone call weighed heavily on my conscience, but I simply couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was a bad son.
"So, past the Day of Volition," Kailin said.
"Past everything."
Kailin came to stand in front of me, stopping my pacing. "Could you ask for leave to visit after the bonding?"
"I can try, but it will be even more difficult then. As a rider, I'm an asset to Elucia and to its enemies. I'd have to be escorted by a large security force. My father could send a platoon to meet me at the transportation hub, but I don't think General Lesten will approve it. Not with the security situation right now—Elusitor converts, the attacks. They won't risk sending a newly bonded rider into potential danger."
I sighed. "If I'm wrong about this, and he's on his deathbed, then I'm a terrible son who chose dragons over his dying father."
"Oh, Alar." Kailin wrapped her arms around me.
I held her tight, breathing in the scent of her hair, feeling her still too-slim body against mine. But it was solid and familiar, and I never wanted to be away from her. This was what mattered. Not political games or family manipulation. This.
"You're not a terrible son," she said. "You're in an impossible position. There's no good choice here."
"There never is with my father."
We stood entwined in each other for a long time, until I eventually felt steady enough to sit at the desk and compose a response.
