As he and Shovia started singing Darma's praises, I turned to Kailin.
"I'm sorry for getting angry when I should have been supportive. I was making everything about me when I should have focused on you and how I could help you." I reached for her hand under the table. "I knew that you were trying to protect me, and I still berated you for it because I was scared. That wasn't fair."
Her expression softened slightly. "I know that you want to take every burden from me and protect me from every danger. But you need to accept that it's beyond the scope of what you can do, or what I can allow you to do." Her gaze dropped to her untouched food. "I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth, and we both know it."
Her truths cut deep, but I bit my tongue not to say it to her again.
It was ironic how the tables had flipped between us. Not too long ago, Kailin had thought that she wasn't good enough for a prince. Now, I knew with painful certainty that I wasn't good enough for the Hero of Elucia and its future shaman.
"I'll try to do better." I said. "I never liked walking in the much larger shadows of my older brothers, but it seems to be my destiny to walk in yours."
She flinched. "Now it is your truth that cuts deep. I don't want you to walk in my shadow. I want you to walk beside me."
42
SHOVIA
“On the Day of Volition, hope and terror are two sides of destiny's coin toss. The bond between rider and dragon can be forged in a single moment or not at all.”
—Instructor Mira Kellson, On the Day of Volition
We'd returned from the examination hall hours ago, but no one had been able to relax. Morek cooked food no one wanted to eat just to keep himself busy. Codric sat on one of the couches, pretending to read a book when he hadn't turned a page in twenty minutes, and Kailin had fallen asleep on the other couch, her head resting in Alar's lap.
She was either super tired or very confident about passing the tests.
Probably both.
In the five years I had known Kailin, she'd never failed a written test, getting nearly perfect scores. She'd looked tired and upset this morning, and Alar had looked like he'd swallowed a lemon, so I assumed they'd had a spat, but whatever they'd fought about appeared to be settled, and they were back to being disgustingly cute together.
I stood up and walked to the big window, watching the auroras paint colors across the darkening sky. I believed that I had done okay on the written portion, and I was pretty confident that I would pass the endurance and flight tests tomorrow. What I was most worried about was the interview with Saphir and Nyxath and the actual bonding ceremony.
In roughly thirty-six hours, I would either bond with a dragon or face the greatest humiliation of my life, getting rejected by all the dragons who made themselves available for this Day of Volition.
"I've most likely failed," Morek announced as he carried a platter of a strange assortment of dishes. "I know I failed. I completely blanked on the magnetic variance calculations. I couldn't remember the formula. And the one about the Second Extinction War treaties? I couldn't remember if it was the Treaty of Valderin or the Valderin Accords."
"It's the same thing," I said without turning from the window. "The Treaty of Valderin is sometimes called the Valderin Accords."
"That's one." He put the platter on the dining table. "But there were so many others I wasn't sure about. I should have studied more."
"Morek." Kailin lifted her head off Alar's lap and sat up. "You're going to pass."
"You don't know that."
"Actually, I do." She leaned on Alar's shoulder. "We're the chosen seven, or five of the seven, anyway. We have to become riders. The universe, and by that I mean Saphir, isn't going to let a written exam stand in the way of your destiny to save the world."
Morek shook his head. "That's not what Saphir actually said. He said that we would be tested by him and Ravel, but he must have meant the tests we will face tomorrow, not the written exams that we have taken with everyone else."
"He implied that we wouldn't fail," Kailin said. "And we won't. Have a little faith."
Easy for her to say.
Kailin had always excelled at academics. Her mind was sharp, her memory excellent, and her understanding of complex concepts seemingly effortless. She'd probably finished the exam with time to spare and gone over her answers twice.
I'd done well enough, I thought. The tactical sections had been straightforward, and I'd memorized enough dates and treaties to muddle through the history portion. But there had been a few questions, particularly in the dragon physiology section, where I'd been less certain. Still, if I answered four out of five questions correctly, I would pass, and I was pretty confident that I had done at least that well.
Codric finally gave up on his book and tossed it aside. "When are they going to post the results?"
"Tomorrow morning, probably," Alar said. "Before the flight tests. Those who fail the written portion don't move to the second day of testing."
