It was really sweet in here, a mattress bigger than a king stretching most of the room, lifted by a frame that it was built to be flush with. Pillows and blankets everywhere, making the space feel cozy, drenched with the scent of our alphas.
His alphas,I corrected myself.
"That's why I keep her on me now," Joon explained. "Can't lose her if she's there."
"Fair enough, she probably likes the heat too. Can I hold her?"
"If you want."
Joon was careful lifting her off his body with two hands. I outstretched my own, trying to mimic his position, and he gently handed her off. Her scales were smooth against my skin, glistening in the twinkle of the warm fairylights strung along the beam overhead. She was pretty docile, slithering around lazily until she looped up and around my arm, squeezing it just a bit.
"Is she a constrictor?" I asked, a little nervous.
"I don't know," Joon mumbled. "You'd have to ask Indi."
"I will."
I couldn't stop looking at her, and for a moment, it felt like she was looking at me too. She turned towards me and stuck out her tongue, flicking it at me.
"So cute," I said, more to her than Joon.
When I glanced back up, he was watching me, fondness in his dark, mono-lidded eyes. "She is," he agreed, the irritation in his tone melting away.
I swallowed.
"Listen, I really didn't mean to upset you earlier, and whatever I did, tell me, and I won't do it again."
He sighed, twirling his stylus in his fingers. "You didn't do anything, Eva."
"I didn't? ‘Cause it sure felt like I did."
"It's not you. It's just… all of it. Okay?"
"The contract?" I guessed with a frown.
"Maybe," he said. "You're just… you obviously fit in. You know?"
My brow furrowed. "What do you mean? You don't like that I get along with everyone?"
“No,” he grunted irritably. "That's not what I mean either."
I tried to keep my voice even, but it was harder than I thought. "Okay… then, can you tell me what you mean?"
"I mean…” he started slowly. “You just do this so effortlessly. Fit in with the pack without having to try. They just… accepted you like it was nothing. Becauseyou'rethe perfect omega. Not to mention you’re obviously scent-matched with?—"
"I'm definitelynotthe perfect omega," I interrupted, making a face. "And of course they accepted me easily! We have a contract. I'm giving them something they want."
"It's more than that, and we both know it." Joon sighed, running a hand through their dark hair, making it stand on end.
My face felt warm. "As far as I know, it's not. I'm having this baby and then… disappearing from your lives after the contractually obligated breastfeeding period."
"I don't think so," he countered. "But even if it's not you, it’ll besomeone. I know they'll find an omega who wants a bond and leave me behind. Go be a proper pack.”
I tried to choose my words carefully, but since I generally held all of the nuance of a bull in a china shop, I blew straight through the question anyway. "I heard that you weren't interested in bonding. Will you tell me why?"
The indecision on his face was obvious, old scars rising to the surface. "Has anyone ever told you what happens when you break a bond?"
I shook my head. "As far as I knew, you couldn’t. I mean, you see it in TV and movies, but like… that’s fiction, right?”
