My eyes come up to meet Anvil’s and then Terro’s over his shoulder, the fear and anxiety refusing to let go.
“Check on me?”I question.
Anvil reaches out, causing me to flinch before I can stop myself.Instantly I drop my eyes to my hands, apologizing.Anvil slowly drops his hand and moves back, giving me space.
“Yes.We know Blitz is your anchor, your safe place,” Terro says gently, almost hesitantly.“It's just … this is the longest stretch he won't be here since you arrived.We wanted to check in, make sure you’re comfortable, and that being behind the bar won't feel too overwhelming.”
Searching his eyes for any chance of him misleading me, I find nothing.“Thank you, but at this moment I think I’m okay.”
Terro sits back in his chair, and Anvil sits on the corner of Terro’s desk.
“Okay, we’re looking to have an open party to try to pull in some new prospects.Anvil has a couple of his military buddies who are looking to be sponsored.Do you think you’ll be up for that?”Terro asks me, eyeing me closely.
Even with the stress of being here, I relax back into my chair slightly.“Depending on the size of the party, I may need another bartender to help me, but I should be good to handle it.”
“I’m not sure an outside bartender is what we need to do right now.Is there any of the Club Bunnies that you would be okay with helping you?”Anvil asks thoughtfully.
Something about his tone of voice makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck.I think over who we currently have around the club, not really excited about anyone that is available.
“Does Ainsley or Tasia have any bartending experience?”I inquiry thoughtfully.
Terro and Anvil chuckle, shaking their heads, making both look like bobbleheads.
“Charlie girl, we all know the last thing we need right now is Ol’ Ladies serving drinks to assholes during an open club party.Are you sure that there isn’t anyone else you could use?”
“What about Sunny?”Anvil asks.“I’m pretty sure when she was stripping she would also bartend some.”
I think about Sunny and her sweet personality.I still wonder every day how she ended up here with us, or stripping for that matter.Out of all my options, it seems she’s my only choice.
Sighing, I nod.“Can she have a couple of days off duty before the party?That way she can work with me and get trained?I just want to make sure she’s okay and won't get too overwhelmed.”
To my complete surprise, Anvil’s face goes hard at my request, but he says nothing as Terro agrees.I’m finally able to relax when Terro shatters every ounce of calm that has settled in.
“We need you to do something for the club over the next few weeks.”Terro’s eyes harden, becoming the Vice President that he is.“With Blitz gone and not hovering, the guys may get a little more loose-lipped at the bar and with you.We want you to keep an ear out for someone not being as truthful and upfront as they're supposed to be.”
Swallowing hard, I nod slowly.I’m barely able to get words out when I ask, “Is there anything in particular that I need to keep an ear out for?”
“Not directly,” Anvil starts.“We got a hint that there might be someone feeding information where it shouldn’t be.It could be anyone—brother, Club Bunny, hanger-on, or associate of the club.You know how people get with the bartender.Lips get loose and things get said.”
Sweat rolls down my back, caused by stress and anxiety.“Yeah, I think I can do that.”
“I knew you would, Charlie girl.You’ve always put the club first.”Terro smiles softly at me, making my heart stutter and shatter because they have no idea who or what I am.
Fighting every fiber of my being to not blurt out the truth to the men sitting in front of me, I stand and move to the door.
“Charlie,” Anvil calls out.“If you hear, see, or find out anything having to do with someone betraying the club, be sure to let us know.We wouldn’t want suspicion to land on you seeing as your past is still pretty murky and unknown.”
I don’t turn and look at them.“I understand.When you have the details for the open club party, let me know so I can be sure we’ve got everything we need ready to go.”
“Thank you, Charlie,” Terro answers me.
As quickly as I can, I pull the door open and rush out into the hallway.Instead of taking the right to go back towards the great room, I turn left, rushing towards the back exit.I need out.To get some space where I can catch my breath as the memories of a very similar conversation try to pull me under and swallow me whole.It’s been so long since memories of NOS have tried to drown me that all the mental tools I used to cope have gone out the damn window.
I barely make it through the door before I hit my knees, throwing up while tears stream down my face.The weight of the lies is trying to pull me under and silence me forever.A small hand rubs my back, scaring the ever-living hell out of me.Without thinking, I wrench away from the touch, falling on my ass and shaking with adrenaline and fear.I scut away from the figure, tears still running down my face, blurring my vision.It takes longer than I want to admit to get my fear, stress, and anxiety under control enough to see who is there.Sunny is sitting in the dirt cross-legged, just taking me in.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to act like a rabid animal,” I state flatly, coming across like a bitch unable to stop myself.
“It’s okay.You're not the first person to get pissy when feeling like a cornered animal.I was reading a book in the shade over there and saw you burst through the door.I didn’t want you to be alone while so upset.Now you're okay, so… yeah.”Sunny says so softly that her words don’t hold the sting they would’ve if coming from anyone else.
