The service wrapped up and we filed out with everyone else. I wasn’t feeling up to any more socializing. Plus, I had more to do at the farm. And this skirt was pinching me unpleasantly. “Guys, I think I’m just going to head home now.”
Lila grabbed my arm. “What about the big hunt?”
I looked around quickly to see if anyone had heard her. “Thewhat? You can’t say that in church, Lila. Come on.”
“Hunt. The Easter EggHunt.” She laughed. “Watching a bunch of kiddos run around finding eggs will bring a smile to your face. I promise.”
“I suppose they are pretty cute. And it’s been a few years since I felt comfortable coming out to events like these.” I nodded, even though I was still all twisted up inside. “Screw it.”
I clapped my hand over my mouth and made a quick sign of the cross. Then we were out the doors of the church and I could curse again without making God cry. I was pretty sure those were the rules.
We stopped off at Lila and Jake’s so Lila and I could change into jeans and sneakers. She let me borrow some of her stuff. We were close enough in size that it worked. Getting out of my church clothes did wonders for my mood. My heart was still in tatters but at least my feet were no longer screaming and I didn’t have to suck in my stomach so much.
That was good because I had a date with some taco fries, and I wasn’t stopping until the button on my pants burst. If I had to be out in public while in mourning, I was going to self-medicate with carbs and salt and greasy meats.
The town square was hopping for the big Easter Egg hunt. Today was the last day of the celebration, and it was always packed with folks having a good time. Luckily, the town square was huge and the party spilled out into the surrounding streets, which were all shut down today.
I made a beeline for the taco fries. Jake and Lila joined me with a laugh.
“I’m glad you have an appetite,” Lila said. “This is some of the best food we’ll get all year. Ferris doesn’t mess around when it comes to eating.”
“I brought antacids just in case,” Jake said, patting his pocket.
Lila pumped her fist in victory. “Then I’m getting jalapenos on my fries.”
We got to the front of the line and got three orders. The taco fries were just fries in a paper tray with taco meat scooped on top. Not exactly culinary genius, but once you started adding cheese, lettuce, salsa, guac, and sour cream, even Gordon Ramsay would have no criticisms. And sure, that made them more like nacho fries, but I wasn’t going to argue with the lady serving them.
We walked around while we munched on our food, eating with forks because we would have needed a whole roll of paper towels to wipe our hands. I looked around at all the people enjoying themselves in the bright sunshine. Smiling friends and families. Kids with their faces painted, holding balloons or cotton candy bigger than their heads.
I had been avoiding celebrations like this since I became the town whipping boy, but I was glad I came out this year. Meeting Carter—and losing him—had flipped my life upside down, but in some ways, I might have needed it.
I lived in this town, too, and I shouldn’t have to hide away on my farm just because some of these people were ignorant and mean. There would always be people like that, trying to tear others down because their own lives were miserable, and everyone knew misery loved company.
I wouldn’t hide from them anymore. If we let the bullies win, what kind of world would this be? Not one I wanted to live in.
Carter had given me the strength to come out of hiding. And that was in addition to his idea about me sponsoring the bake-off, which had earned me some goodwill. He had shown me it was time to be a part of the community again. I was going to keep building a future here, and anyone who didn’t like it could get the hell out of my way.
I chuckled to myself. These taco fries had really lit a fire in me.
After a while, all the kids lined up for the official egg hunt, and we went over to watch. A whole section of the square had been designated as the search zone, where there were no safety hazards for the little ones. Volunteers had spent the last hour or so hiding eggs among the plants, decorations, and picnic tables. A whole bright line of eggs was clearly visible on the pedestal where the statue of the town’s founder stood. Those were for the less alert children, I assumed. That way, everyone could find at least one egg.
All the little kids looked adorable dressed up in their Easter clothes. An image flickered in my mind of my child standing at that line. And it wasn’t just my child, but Carter’s too. I could see our little boy with khakis and suspenders, his eyes the same emerald green as his father’s, searching for his first target. I could also see our little girl, with my blonde hair and sassy attitude, wearing a pink dress she hated. She wouldn’t be going for the eggs on the pedestal. She would get down in the dirt to find the ones under the tables, just like I used to.
I got choked up out of nowhere.
“I’ll be right back,” I whispered to Lila and slipped away through the crowd before she could see my face.
Tears flowed freely. I dipped my head and wiped at them, not wanting to draw attention to myself. The crowd parted for me, for which I was grateful. The press of people thinned out and I could walk normally again. I dug into my bag for a tissueand dabbed at my eyes. The tears kept coming, weeping for a beautiful future that would never be.
I needed to get out of here before I fell apart in front of everyone. People would talk. I would go from the town asshole to the town loon.
A gentle hand touched my arm. “I think you need a sip of my coffee,” Mrs. Presley said to me quietly.
I shook my head. “Thank you, but I don’t think?—”
“Take a sip,” she said more forcefully, which was unusual for her.
In shock, I accepted her tall travel mug and took a sip. My eyes widened in shock. “Is there booze in this?”
