Oh no. I could see how that might have been another nail in the coffin for Rocket. If the whole baby thing was a real trigger for him.
“He… he didn’t even give me a chance to explain.”
Micro gathered up the discarded cut, folding it gently as he stood up, clutching it to his chest. It wasn't lost on me that he held it like we would have held the child we wanted to create, cradled it with the same love and respect.
“Did you deserve one?”
He left the room while I mulled that question over? Did I? I had a feeling the answer was no.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ididn’t head backtoward the old club, my original home, because they’d failed me too. Everyone had. I could take some of the blame, of course I could, but being suspected of things I didn’t do, and judged as if I had? That’s on them.
Hell, Micro was the culprit, but today he’d acted like a real President. He’d tried to help, but I think it was just too little too late. That wasn’t really his fault. He had a whole club full of misfits, and his new family, meaning he had enough shit to deal with, so he didn’t need mine too. Trouble is, I didn’t want my fucking troubles either.
V… I really thought she could be the one. I really thought we were building something, but I guess I should have realised what was going on when she started going cold on me this morning. Whether that fucker had turned up out of the blue, or she’d called him, the end result was the same. She’d tried her little outing with the ‘bad boy’ and now she was going back to Mr Perfect, with his stupid sensible hair, and that fucking smarmy ass face. The way he smirked at me when I walked in on them.Everything I hadn’t overheard was right there on his face. She was taking him back, and I was once again left alone, because nobody fucking wanted me.
Except Nixie, but then she really didn’t get a choice, did she?
I’d stopped at a little cheap hotel, booking a ‘pet friendly’ room, although I bet I could have just hidden Nixie, what with her being so tiny.
I felt naked without my fucking cut. Cold, even, like a leather jacket wasn’t enough without that laying over the top of it. It was my fucking identity, but maybe that was my problem. I was putting too much of other people into my view of myself as a person. I didn’t need to lean on others, because I was skilled, independent, and courageous. Right? Yeah, right.
I settled Nixie in on the bed, and unpacked the lukewarm burger I’d grabbed when we arrived. Dinner out of a bag, because maybe that was all I could hope for from this life. Would anyone ever choose me? Or would they all just keep getting forced to exist around me, like I was just a fucking inanimate object for them to avoid.
“This thing tastes like shit,” I cursed, as I tossed half the burger back in the bag and focused on the fries instead. They were stone cold, but just about edible at least.
“Least you’ve got your milk stuff, and those… that soft stuff that… that… yeah, you’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. Stick with me and…” I frowned at myself, because holding a one sided conversation with a puppy was too fucking easy. Was that the first sign of madness? Or was that me trusting people? Who the fuck knows.
“We’ll be okay, Nixie,” I asserted, trying to sound like I believed the bullshit I was spouting. What the fuck was okay anyway?
I glanced at my phone, at the increasing level of missed calls and messages from multiple people, including V. Micro, otherclub brothers, even fucking Grease, but when I clicked on his, I snorted. It was a picture of his middle finger, and this.
Grease:Always knew you were a fucking pussy. Just nowhere near as pretty.
Yeah, that was token Grease. There were messages from others too. People who could pretend they cared all they wanted, but where were they when I’d needed them? Why did it take me leaving for them to give a shit?
Reacher: Answer the phone, son. We’re all here for you.
Yeah, now that I’ve ‘flown the coop’ suddenly they’re there for me.
Has-Been: Brother, ignore the others all you want, but talk to me. You’ve always been there for me, let me do the same in return. Please.
Yeah, I’d miss that fucker. He’d always been genuine with me. Always had my back. Of course he was the one they all wanted tattooing their old ladies, like my work was shit, or I was a fucking perv, and that wasn’t his fault, but it’d caused a little spat here and there. He had enough shit on his shoulders right now though, so he didn’t need mine too.
Stag: If it’s the bitch, we can just keep her away. Don’t run, brother. I’ve got beers.
Ha. Borderline woman hating, but he’s got beers. That’ll fix everything.
Henley: I have zero idea what’s going on, man. I was there, but I didn’t know what was happening.They just told me you left for good? What happened? Want me to meet you somewhere? Do you have money or somewhere to stay? Call me.
Now he was a class act. Caring, considerate, way too good to be a brother of mine. Hell, I wasn’t any use to anyone, was I? My parents had made that clear when I was nine and they offloaded me on my uncle, because I was a handful. Guess what, assholes, you put more time and effort into partying than raising a kid, and that’s what happens.
I never thought I’d be proving them right, but here we are. I swallowed hard, switching the phone off, and removing the battery. It had one of those fucking electronic sim things, but if the phone was off, disposed of, and I didn’t link a new one to it, that was as good as incognito, right?
I bounced the phone off the hard tiled floor in the bathroom a few times, and stomped on it for good measure. It sure as hell wasn’t salvageable by the time I was finished with it. That was a little shock to my system, because that was me drawing a line. Burning a bridge. Severing all fucking ties. No more Phoenix, no more club, no more V. No more any of them.
“Just you and me, kid,” I murmured to Nixie as I crouched beside her, and tugged the discarded burger packet from her teeth, “nope. That’s not for you. Only the good stuff for you.”
