“Yeah,let me get the number five with fries and a Sunjoy. Make sure you don’t forget the honey barbecue sauce. The sandwich isn’t going to taste right.” I informed the teenager who was standing outside, speaking into her mic. “Oh, and ketchup for my fries.”
“Yes, Ma’am,” she cheerfully said.
Ma’am? When did I become old enough to be called a Ma’am? Then, at 16, anyone over 21 is considered elderly. At 34, I was damn near dead to her. I chuckled to myself as I pulled around to receive my order.
The aroma of waffle fries made my stomach rumble louder. I grabbed a fry out of the bag before I closed it shut, wanting to eat the rest once I made it home. I’d had to run to the office to complete a few reports that I’d accidentally left, and had no plans for the rest of the night. For the hundredth time that evening, I vacillated with my decision to turn down Jashaun. I could be sitting in some nice restaurant, eating a delicious meal, engaging in good conversation with a fine ass man. Except dating men for the fun of it no longer appealed. Then again, after the hectic week that I had at work, I needed to unwind. Enjoy a nice red wine and relax. Preferably in the arms of a man. But myscared, practical mind prevented me from giving in to a man I sensed would be trouble for my heart.
Jashaun Howard.
He was getting harder and harder to resist. Always buzzing around whenever I worked out in the community gym, or we happened to leave or arrive home at the same time. He lived two doors down from me, and I swore he waited to hear my door open to walk out as I passed his place on the way to the elevator. Jashaun made it clear that he wanted me. Any opportunity he had, he took it to flirt, tease, or smile at me. He’d even asked me out twice before, taking my rejection in stride. Oh, he pissed me off earlier during the meeting with his smug control over the condo association, but that didn’t stop me from internally smiling when Jashaun left the meeting early to chase me. Or that I wore this dress and painful heels to capture his attention when I usually wore jeans and Converse on Saturdays.
Knowing we didn’t have the same endgame also didn’t stop me from yearning for this man or wishing upon miracles that he would change. I needed to be with a man who wanted commitment and a family. I knew my heart enough that I couldn’t play with a man like Jashaun. We had too much in common. We were around the same age, worked for the city, his fashion complemented mine, his playful energy lifted my serious tendencies, and we could debate for hours if I allowed it. I sensed that we would discover that we were the type of compatibility that made long-term easy. Yet, I refused to give in to him and pretend that we could be more or that I could convince him to want something he didn’t. I’d tried that before, and I learned the hard way you can’t make a man do anything he really doesn’t want to do.
Still, a breezy, star-lit Saturday evening like tonight begged me to ignore my brilliant mind and please my foolish heart and horny body.
Balancing my purse, drink, and my food, I almost didn’t notice Jashaun reclining alone by the pool that remained open all year round. Something in the way he stared at the sky seemed melancholy.
“Hey, would fries make you feel better?” I offered.
His head jerked towards me, and a lazy grin spread across his face. “Fast food is better than a nice steak dinner and live jazz?”
“Yep. Can’t wait to sink my teeth into my grilled chicken sandwich.”
“That’s my fav, and they better not forget the honey barbecue sauce, right?” His voice lifted in excitement. “Without the sauce, I swear I’ll throw the whole sandwich away.
“Right.” Warm, cozy feelings, and butterflies every time this man spoke to me. Ugh. I swear I hate him.
“Don’t tell me you got a Sunjoy too?” He pointed at my large drink.
“It’s the only drink for me.”
“Then, I should’ve told you to pick me one up too, and we could’ve sat out here and chilled together.”
A breeze lifted the back of my hair, reminding me how on nights like this I hated being alone. “It is a nice night. You want to split it?”
“I don’t know, the way your stomach growled earlier, I think you need to eat everything in that bag.” He propped his hands behind his head. “Join me. I don’t mind you eating.”
Before I could talk myself out of it, I pushed through the gate, and he rose to take my purse off my arm and to grab my drink. This close, I forgot I had to look up at him. The remnants of his cologne after a long day still lingered in the air. For a second,I leaned into him, and instead of being smug or making a flirty comment, he simply placed my purse and the drink on the small table between the loungers and resettled himself, crossing his legs at his ankles.
I sat down and offered him my large fries. “Still hot.”
He took two. “Thanks.”
“Surprised you’re out here instead of out somewhere on a Saturday night.” I put the fries on a napkin on the table and removed the sandwich from the bag.
“Oh, guess you assumed once you turned me down, I would go to the next woman on the list?” He seemed amused while reaching for another fry. “I asked you out because I didn’t have plans and thought you might have been free, too.”
“I assumed you were busy most weekends.” I used the plastic knife to cut the sandwich in half through the wrapper.
“I usually am.” Jashaun shook his head when I offered my food. “Told you I’m good.”
“Did you eat anything?”
“No.”
“Then eat.” I gave him the sandwich and one of my packets of honey barbecue sauce. I removed the lid so we could share my drink.
“Can’t turn off boss vibes after hours, much?” He took a bite of the sandwich.
