“Oh, thank you for clarifying that.” He remembered what Layla told him and said. “Beenie, you know my not having many friends isn’t your fault. I just haven’t worked hard on my end to try and make new friends.”
“Why not?”
“Well, sometimes it’s harder to make friends when you’re an adult.”
“Because of kids?” her brows knitted together and her voice dipped.
He shook his head. “No, Beenie, not because of kids. Once you’re an adult it’s easy to focus on working and doing adult things. Which means sometimes you forget about doing other things like having fun and making friends. It’s not something I’m upset about, but I’ve decided to try and do better.”
Her eyes lit up. “Really?”
The hopefulness in her voice dug right to his heart. He hadn’t realized how much his lack of a life had worried his daughter. “Really.” He tapped a finger to the tip of her nose. “I can’t let you be the only one in the house with a lot of friends. It’s time I caught up.”
She grinned and turned toward the park. “Come on. Let’s go.” And with that his daughter pulled him out of his comfort zone and into his first adult playdate.
Thirty minutes later as he talked with two other dads, Elijah stopped feeling like a preteen searching for a table of kids who would accept him at lunch. He couldn’t credit the comfort to his excellent people skills. It was all thanks to Beenie. She’d recognized one of the little boys from school who immediately drew her to him and his dad. Once the kids started talking him and the dad, Jared, struck up a conversation.
Jared worked in construction, had been a member of the Single Dad’s Society for over a year, and swore by the group. He introduced Elijah to Raymond. Raymond was the father of a little girl who was a year younger than Sabrina and worked as a barber. The three had started off talking about the surface stuff, name, child, what they thought about the upcoming football season. From there the conversation had flown easily, and they seemed like decent fellas.
“So, what made you decide to check out the group?” Raymond asked. He was tall, white, with dark hair, and a friendly smile. He’d come to the meet up in a pair of stylish grey joggers and a cream colored top.
Elijah shrugged. “I was at a fraternity reunion, and one of my frat brothers mentioned it. Lately, I’ve been thinking I could use talking to other fellas in the same situation as me.”
Jared nodded. “Cool, I’m glad you decided to come out.”
“I’ll admit when I first heard about this group I was like nah,” Raymond said. “It sounded a little too touchy feely.”
Jared a black guy with shoulder length locs and a beard laughed. “Touchy feely how?” He wore a navy-blue t-shirt and jeans.
“I don’t know man,” Raymond said shrugging. “A bunch of dudes sitting around talking about feelings and stuff. That just threw me off.”
Elijah frowned. “Is that what you all do?” He was ready to meet people, but it might take several visits before he was ready to get into a deep dive of his feelings.
Both Jared and Raymond laughed. “Nah,” Jared said. “It’s not like that. Travon, the guy who started the Houston chapter, he lost his wife to cervical cancer about a year after their kid was born. He realized he was left alone with no support. He tried other parent groups, but it was all mom focused. And, nothing against mothers, but what they need may not be the same as what a dad needs. He started looking for ways dads could support each other and discovered the national group. Now we’re here. It’s not just about sharing feelings, but finding community. Sometimes you need to vent, or you just need advice. We’re here to help, not judge.”
“I didn’t realize I didn’t have community around me until recently,” Elijah admitted. “I mean, Sabrina has a best friend. Me and her friend’s mom work together to help each other out, but she has girlfriends and goes on ladies trips. I hate to admit it, but I’m kind of jealous. I lost all that after my wife left.”
“How so?” Jared asked.
“I just had to stand ten toes down for Sabrina. Her mom walked out on us. Just left a note. She even told Sabrina that she wasn’t coming back before dropping her off at daycare.”
“Damn, that’s cold,” Raymond said. Then he held up a hand. “My bad, dude.”
Elijah shrugged. “It’s all good. The situation was messed up. Sabrina was doing okay, but about two years ago her teacher told me she was struggling. She was having a hard time making friends and talking about worrying that her dad would leave, too. Man, that damn near killed me. I quit my corporate job, got a job in government to try and have more work life balance and do everything I can to be there for her. The result was losing a social life. I mean, she’s my whole world and I wouldn’t change it, but I can only talk about the latest pre-teen show craze for so long.”
Raymond laughed. “I feel you. It’s one of the reasons I came. The meet ups are good to talk to others. I’ve even done some of the dad retreats or just met up with other dads on our own. I’ve made some good friends here.”
“Same,” Jared said.
Elijah hesitated for a second. He hadn’t had a real talk with guys in so long. Maybe he was ready for the deep dive in feelings, because just sharing that little bit had felt good. He could imagine the self-satisfied look on Layla’s face when he told her he’d had fun at the meet up. Would she view this as progress and not feel as hesitant about going out with him?
He glanced between Jared and Raymond and decided to ask a question before he could wonder if he was going too far too fast, but hell, he didn’t have anyone else to ask. “What about dating?”
Raymond raised a brow. “Like, in the group? I mean, if you find someone interested.”
“Nah, not like that. I mean in general. How do you get back out there and start dating again? I’m ready. In fact, there’s someone I’m really ready to date, but I don’t know.”
Jared leaned in interest all in his eyes. “What’s going on?”
