I stand at the entrance to the stall, not allowing myself to step even one foot closer to him. I have an overwhelming desire to jump him, latch my legs around his waist, and tell him to make me forget all of my problems, if only for tonight. I know I’d regret it tomorrow, but I’d certainly enjoy it right now.
“Why’d you run in here?” Leo asks quietly. “Tell me the truth, not some bullshit about you wanting to avoid me.”
“I did want to avoid you,” I answer haughtily. The corner of his mouth turns up, but he doesn’t speak. God dammit. This mancould always out-patience me. “Honestly? Gia said something, and it made me remember that time you took me to dinner in Denver so you could tell me how you’d reenlisted. I knew you did it there so I couldn’t make a scene. Looking back, I knew at that moment our relationship was doomed. I’d never factor in your life decisions, and I didn’t like that. I didn’t want to be an afterthought in your world, Leo. I wanted us to make decisions together, and you constantly took that opportunity away from me.”
His eyes widen with my admission. “You thought I didn’t take you into consideration with decisions I made? Baby, you’re the only person I ever thought of. Yeah, I could have handled things better. I didn’t intend to blurt out about the reenlistment at that dinner. I was going to ask you to move in with me. Every month apart was slowly killing me. But I loved my job, and I truly thought I was making the world a better place, as cliché as that sounds. But I wanted you there. Always.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that, then?” I ask quietly, so quietly I wonder if Leo even hears me.
He gives me a weary smile, his shoulder slumping. “Maybe I knew you’d never move to North Carolina. Or maybe I feared you’d break up with me. It was easier to keep the status quo than rock the boat.”
I look down at his boots, at the familiar pattern of stitching on the sides. “Did I get you those?”
He nods with a chuckle. “Yeah. Finally got them broken in.”
“Leo, I gave those to you ten years ago.”
Leo winks. “Took longer than I thought it would.”
I sigh with an exaggerated huff. “You know, for someone with years of military experience, it’s shocking that you’ve got them unlaced. You’re bound to trip and break your neck one of these days.”
His smile drops slightly. “It’s hard for my leg to bend at the knee sometimes. So it’s easiest if my shoes are all basically slip-ons.”
My heart jumps to my throat. “You can’t bend it?”
“Not really, no. My calf is all fucked up, and I’ve had so many surgeries on my leg that I’ve got a lot of scar tissue built up. It’s not the prettiest.”
“How have I never heard about this? Did everyone hide it from me or something?” I ask, hurt evident in my tone.
Leo’s eyes meet mine solemnly. “Besides Gia and my parents, you’re the first person I’ve told any specific details.”
I gasp, hands coming to my mouth in shock. As tears fill my eyes, I do what I wanted to do only minutes ago. I rush to him, throwing my arms around his neck, and he lifts me so my legs can wrap around his waist. Burying my face in his neck, the familiar scent of his cologne filling my senses, I’m overcome with emotion. His arms tighten around me as he rests his head against mine.
It’s been ages since I’ve been in Leo’s arms. One of the only places I ever felt was completely safe, and irrevocably mine. I can’t remember the last time I’d even received a hug from a man. Possibly with my brother at my sister’s funeral. Before that … well, probably the last time I was privileged enough to be held by the man holding me now.
I never truly understood how perfectly Leo’s embrace was until I couldn’t experience it anymore. Even when he was deployed, I knew he’d come home. There was a stopwatch counting down, letting me know I’d experience it again. And now, as I feel a tremor rack through Leo’s body, I wonder if he’s feeling the same way.
How has he gone this long without telling anyone about his injuries? Why did he keep it bottled in for so long? And why the hell did his family let him get away with it? Anyone can see he’s hurt. Leo has always held emotions in, and he’s not one to admit when he’s hurt. Surely I can’t be the only one to see the pain in his eyes or the limp as he drags his leg. Tears fall as I think about this poor man, feeling lost and alone, finally admitting to me that he’s been in pain for years.
“Why?” I finally rasp, squeezing my arms around his neck tighter, then shivering when his hot breath hits my neck.
“Who would I tell?”
“Your siblings.”
I feel him shake his head against me, sending another shiver when his lips brush against my skin. “They wouldn’t have handled it well. Too much chaos at home. Hannah and Arianna were new moms. Dom’s ex-wife was causing trouble. Alex was struggling. Knowing the extent of my injuries would have been salt to the wound. All they knew was my calf was messed up.”
I raise my head, pulling back to look in his eyes. I used to get lost in his irises, mostly dark brown but with golden specks toward the outside edge. I could always see love there. Now it’s mostly pain, confusion, and sadness. “Why haven’t you told them that you’re still struggling?”
His mouth opens and closes once, then his eyes dart to the side as he forces out a loud breath. “Because they’d look at me with pity, and I can’t stand that. I hate feeling like I’ve let them down. I’m supposed to be the strong one.”
“Is that why no one knows? Because you think they’d feel sorry for you?” I ask quietly, and he nods. “They’d hurtforyou, Leo. That’s what loved ones do. They’d want to take away the pain from you if they could.”
His gaze snaps back to mine. “I don’t want that either. I just want to feel normal.”
“Then why did you tell me?” I utter.
“Because you’re the only person who has ever accepted me as I am.”
