For a second, I was sure I was hallucinating. Then the sting of my bitten lip snapped me back; he was real.
I looked into his eyes. His emerald green eyes were shaking, but he was here.
Tall. Radiant. He looked like a beacon in front of me in his wool bomber jacket, white open-collared shirt, tailored pants, and light-tinted glasses. I lowered my eyes and dipped my head, feeling the heavy weight press down on my chest.
Zeraiah moved as if in slow motion and sat beside me, taking the seat Andi had left. I couldn’t look at him—I didn’t dare. My eyes dropped on my skates, their blades scratching faintly against the floor.
Memories flooded me—“I really believe one of them will be out,” Zeraiah said, making a face at the One Direction song playing.
“Hey! Don’t you dare say that!” I yelled, pushing him—splash. He immediately grabbed my leg and yanked me in with him. We ended up laughing like idiots in the pool.
If it had been before, we would have been bickering by now, laughing in our chaos. But now my breath couldn’t even be steady as he sat beside me. Zeraiah turned his head, his voice low. “I’m sorry,” he rasped.
I looked at him, startled.
“I’m sorry I didn’t greet you properly. Not when we first met again at the park, not in the car the other day either.” His voice was soft, laced with sadness. Our eyes met, and it ached, because I didn’t know if he was feeling the same pain as I did.
I shook my head without taking my eyes off him, and they even trembled from the sting I felt, remaining that way until Zeraiah spoke again. “You know, when Mas Zaeemasked me to come here after so long, I finally said yes, especially since Zioh was already here.” He bit the corner of his lip, his foot tapping against the floor. “And… I thought for ages about whether to bring this or not.”
He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box. His fingers tightened around it before extending it towards me.
“In the end, I knew. If I left it in the UK, it’d only haunt me.” He shrugged. “So, I brought it.”
I didn’t take it right away. My eyes stayed fixed on the box, then lifted to him again—not knowing how to react. For a moment, it felt like I’d become my brother, measuring every move and every word, unready to face the possibility that my next mistake might provoke Zeraiah.
Seeing my hesitation, he faltered, and somehow the cold surrounding us sharpened, pressing through my jacket. “Okay… this is, uh…” He shook the box and blew a breath. “Do you remember the day before Zioh and I left? On your birthday?” He swallowed, his fingers moving to scratch his jaw. “I told you I’d give you your seventeenth present when I returned? Well… this is it.” His voice was softer now, stripped of the cocky edge he usually wore.
The sobs caught in my throat. Because even if he hated me, even if this was another fleeting phase like with Zioh, for this moment… something bright fluttered in me. Tomorrow or anytime, he could change and yell, declaring how much he hated me, but for now, at this moment, I felt like my old self with my best friend, Zeraiah.
Even though a strange warmth pooled in my chest, I couldn’t decide how I should react in front of him. Would he give me venomous words, too, if I said the wrong thing or reacted the wrong way?
I bit my lip. I was… happy he was here, speaking to me again, keeping a small promise from the past.
Even if he no longer saw me as his friend.
Because Zeraiah had abandoned me, too.
Glancing at him, I swallowed down the lump in my throat, my fingers twisting in my lap. “Well… it took you ten years to return and give it,” I whispered, my voice hoarse.
I didn’t know why those words slipped out. I followed my heart, which hadn’t been steady for days. I reached out slowly, taking the box from him. My eyes lingered on it, leaving us both quiet again.
Zeraiah cleared his throat after a moment, and I could hear his feet shuffling against the floor.
I spoke first. “How are you, Zeraiah?” My voice cracked.
His gaze shifted to me, eyes shimmering with something painful. “Me?” He let out a dry laugh, lifting a shoulder. “Just… like the way you’re seeing me right now.” The emptiness in his voice sliced through me. So hollow and raw.
I stayed silent, and he looked at me again. “What about you?”
The question was simple, only three words. Yet I went silent, weighing it as if it were the most challenging exam question.What about me?What have I truly felt and lived through all these years? No answer came. But only one person had ever answered it for me.
I shrugged. “Your brother said my life is fine,” I replied, each word felt heavy, and I shouldn’t have said it because I regretted it the moment it left my mouth.
Zeraiah froze. His face unreadable, and my heart thudded. Damn me for saying that!What would he say?
Zeraiah only stayed quiet, and his eyes flickered. His mouth opened, but he paused, then closed it again.
He swallowed. “You know… Bib, Zioh—”
