Taylor Swift. All Too Well.
“Fuck, Olivia,” Zeraiah cursed, his voice sharp. “How many times do I have to tell her not to mess with my Spotify?” Zeraiah complained in a curt and annoyed tone. But I hardly heard him, because of all the songs, it had to be this one.
I hated it—not when it first came out, but now, at this age, with all the memories, with all of us reunited in the middle of Jakarta…
Shifting, I squeezed my eyes shut as the first verse bled through the speakers.
We had always sung together—carpool karaoke. Whether the chauffeur was taking us home from school, or in the late afternoons after Zioh earned his license.“No Zeraiah! You already blasted your rock songs at home! It’s One Direction’s turn!” I shot Zeraiah a sharp look as I spoke.
“Your pop songs are not road trip material! They are nap-inducing!” He simply yawned and patted his mouth, his sleepy expression almost mocking.
When I opened my eyes again, the city outside betrayed me, opening old memories, one by one.
As we passed the city park, the memories hit me. We used to go there, too.“Wait for me!” I yelled, and Ziohturned to look at me, smiling. “It’s okay, Sophie, slow down, you’re gonna fall,” Zioh said, waiting for me on his bike.
Zeraiah yelled, laughing, “The ice cream shop’s gonna close, and you won’t get any, Biba!”
My phone rang, but I couldn’t bring myself to look away. As we passed Gambir Station, I remembered we had been there, too. When we were bored with flying, we’d take a train to Jogja instead.“Put your jacket on,” Zioh said, guiding my hand into the sleeve as the train began to move.
“And stop eating ice cream all the time,” Tsabinu added.
“Yeah, and stop being ugly!” Zeraiah laughed, sticking out his tongue. I lunged at him, tugged his hair.
Everything came to a halt. There was only me, sitting before a screen far too vast for my eyes, watching my happiest moments from the past, and each one paired with a wave of pain.
This wasn’t as easy as Andi and those books said it would be.
A tear fell and soaked my face, hidden by Zioh’s sunglasses. I bit my lips hard, caged my sobs with everything I could inside me.
Monas. I could hear Zeraiah’s annoyed whine as I’d dragged him there.Why on earth did you bring me to the desert?!” I spun around to see Zeraiah, his skin flushed red and damp with sweat. I burst out laughing. His face twisted in annoyance for a split second before he lunged after me. We ran, breathless, beneath the scorching sun.
I jolted forward when the car slammed on the brakes, yet I kept my eyes outside the window.
A red light. Zioh’s car had broken down once there, and the tire burst.“That blast was as loud as Biba’s snoring,” Zeraiah laughed. I stopped laughing and smacked his arm. “Hey! I don’t snore!” I denied, my voice firm.
Shrugging, Zeraiah added. “Ask, Zioh!”
Tsabinu patted my head, still busy helping Zioh with the tire. “Sophie, keep eyes on surroundings, cars everywhere,” Zioh said, his hand clasping mine as he drew me closer to him.
The sharp taste of iron flooded my mouth. My hands dug into my thighs, my nails pressing deep. I could feel the wind sweeping my hair, and I hoped it could also sweep my tears right now.
Turning my head, I tried to block it out, but there it was—Mama Nadine’s favorite mall, looming in the distance.“Hey, kids! The mall is already closed! What are you doing here?!” the security guard yelled as we dashed out of the cinema.
I burst out laughing. “This is all Zeraiah’s fault! He fell asleep!” Zeraiah laughed along. “We all did!”
“Careful, it’s dark ahead!” Tsabinu called out. Zioh sighed, never letting go of me. “Mum’s going to lose it.”
“Are we going to get in trouble, Zi?” I asked, leaning into him as we sprinted. He glanced at me, his eyes softening despite the chaos. He squeezed my hand so tight I could feel his warmth. “No,” he said firmly. “Just me. You won’t, Sophie.”
I managed a shaky smile. “Yeah…” I breathed, the word catching in my throat. “I remember it all too well.”
The greatest gift of my life. My brain had marked it, etched it deep.
It was so vivid—from my fourth birthday, when I first met them, to my seventeenth birthday, when I last saw them.
Some people didn’t stay, but they became your most beautiful memory.
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