I wanted to run over there, step between them, and beg her to say no. The snow began to fall in clumps, and I broke into a run.
Why did I continue to come here every year? My mother was gone, and now, with Hannah being here, things were complicated. This place didn’t hold happiness for me anymore. It was like a town full of skeletons. Everywhere I looked, I saw my dead mother and now the woman I could never have.
All the memories of this place swirled inside me like a storm. Peaches Café, where my mom had placed a dollop of whip cream on my ten-year-old nose. Fifth Street, where we’d had an epic snowball fight at age twelve. Willow Lake, where my mom and I had ice skated all day when I was fourteen. This entire town wasfilled with memories that just caused pain, and I’d just added another one to the mix.
When I got to my truck, I pulled out my phone with a shaky hand and blockedHannah with two N’snumber. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t torture myself with what could have been. I’d asked for this. I’d let Luke have her. I wasn’t even sure if, given a chance, Hannah and I would have worked out anyway. She didn’t know my past. The idea of her and me was something I’d built up way too much in my head.
I put the truck in drive and fled the scene of carnage. I just hoped that in the end Hannah was happy. That’s all I’d wanted from the day I saw her sad face burst through the kitchen doors at Vinnie’s. I just wanted that woman to smile.
Chapter Twenty-Three
HANNAH
I sat next to Luke, watching the first float go by as my gaze shifted through the parade to the other side of the street where Jack was standing.
He had come to my concert last spring? That couldn’t be right. But Dennis wouldn’t make that up, and he seemed so sure.
And it would explain everything. If Jack had come and overheard Luke say all of those things to me, it would explain why he’d gotten so distant afterward. I mean, it would partially explain. It would mean that maybe he’d been coming to my concert to tell me he liked me, and Luke had stepped in his way.
As my thoughts were spinning with all of this, a hush fell over the crowd and the Hannah’s Fine Italian float stopped right in front of me. My gaze flicked up to the new addition on top of the float, a cardboard cutout of Luke that hadn’t been there ten minutes ago. Cardboard Luke was holding a sign that said, “Marry me, Hannah?”as the real Luke stood beside me and dropped to one knee.
I sucked in a breath.
Oh no.
Was this seriously happening?
Luke started to speak, and it felt like my soul had left my body. The words barely registered as I panicked about what was happening.
I mean, we’d been together for over two years before, and six months solid this time, but…
My mind raced back to all the conversations Luke and I had had over the past month. Ones where he’d asked me how many children I wanted and what type of wedding I would like. My dream ring. I’d thought he was asking because he was one day wanting to get married. Which I wanted to do one day too. I mean, I wouldn’t date a guy if I weren’t working towards that, but…my heart hammered in my chest and my palms felt slick as I watched him pull my dream ring out of a box.
No.
I hadn’t prayed about this. I didn’t know if Luke was “the one” and the kiss we’d just shared under the mistletoe was dead. But one dead kiss didn’t mean every kiss would be that way, right?
My mind was frazzled, churning with thoughts of marrying Luke. I should have wanted that. Otherwise, why was I still with the guy? We were high school sweethearts. He had a stable career. So did I. I was twenty-four years old now and wanted marriage and kids.
I mean…it was perfect. But saying yes didn’t feel right for some reason, though I couldn’t say why.
Then my gaze fell across the street to Jack. His back was turned as he ran away from the scene, and my gut twisted into a ball. Was Jack the reason why? I felt guilt wash over me then. Had I kept a space in my heart this entire time for Jack and not allowed my relationship with Luke to grow as it should have?
No.
Lord, help me.
“Will you marry me, Hannah?” Luke asked, beaming up at me from one knee with his entire family and the whole town watching on.
I wanted to vomit. I would have rather gotten hit by a Christmas float than turn down Luke Halston in front of all of Willow Harbor on Christmas. But I couldn’t say yes. In my heart of hearts, something was screaming at me to say no.
“I’m sorry, Luke. I can’t,” I managed and then burst into tears.
There were gasps all around me, and Luke fell back onto his butt in shock as he snapped the ring box shut.
Then my mom and Jules ushered me away with wide eyes and surprised faces. I felt like I’d just let the entire world down. And for the first time ever, my Christmas was ruined.
Chapter Twenty-Four
