‘You wouldn’t be masquerading. You deserve that award. I only thought, since you’re struggling so much—’
‘No, Bobby. Absolutely not. It would be an insult to every airman killed in this war to exploit something like that for personal gain. I’m surprised you’d even ask.’
Bobby flushed. ‘I’m sorry. I… hadn’t thought of it like that.’
‘Never mind. Forget it.’
‘I didn’t mean to upset you. It was just an idea.’
‘All right. Let’s put it behind us.’
‘Yes. Sorry.’
Bobby pressed a kiss to his forehead. Charlie’s expression had turned blank, however, and he merely gazed into the distance.
She stood up, mumbling something about needing to get the dinner on, and went to hide in the kitchen. There, Bobby rested her overheated forehead against the wall and stifled a sob.
Oh Lord, what a stupid thing to say! She ought to have guessed Charlie would react that way. Now he was hurt, and worse, he was disappointed in her.
It was his pride she had been thinking of – the feeling he was failing in his duty as head of the family. But in thinking of his pride, Bobby had neglected to consider his grief. What a fool she had been! How callous, how calculating she must have sounded, to suggest using a decoration to improve his employment prospects. Charlie would never stomach that, after all the friends he had lost. Would he ever be able to forgive her?
Charlie had turned on the wireless. Bobby was glad of it. It meant he couldn’t hear her cry. She put a pan of soup on the hob, seasoning it with salty tears.
It couldn’t have been more than five minutes later that she felt a pair of gentle arms slip around her waist, and soft lips on her neck.
‘I’m sorry,’ Charlie whispered.
Bobby wiped her wet cheeks with the heels of her hands. ‘You don’t need to apologise. I’m the one who—’
‘No you’re not.’ He turned her around and kissed away the tears. ‘I was being selfish. Thinking only about my own feelings, as if I was a single man with no one but myself to consider. It was perfectly good advice.’
‘I ought to have thought before I spoke. Of course you’d never do anything so cynical. It was insensitive.’
‘And I ought to have remembered that it’s about you as much as me. Ethical quandaries are bachelor luxuries.’ He kissed her again. ‘You were absolutely right, sweetheart, and I’m sorry I made you cry.’
Bobby flashed him a shaky smile. ‘You aren’t going to divorce me yet then? Because Jess was keen to matchmake for me with the captain earlier.’
‘What with him and Ernie King, there seems to be quite a queue forming.’ Charlie hugged her fiercely. ‘For all the good it’ll do them, because I’m not planning on letting you go.’
‘So what have you decided to do about the DFC?’
Charlie didn’t answer right away. His face was against her neck, and Bobby wasn’t sure whether it was his tears or the remnants of her own that caused the dampness there.
‘I read that letter from Willis you left on the table,’ he said after a while.
‘What did he have to say?’
‘Nothing good. A friend from the Twelves, Hynes, is in a bad way in a London hospital. Burnt head to toe. They’re not expecting him to linger.’
‘Oh Charlie, I’m sorry.’
‘Willis and some of the lads are making a trip down to see him. He wants to know if I’ll join them. I know we can’t afford to make frivolous journeys but I would like to go.’
‘When is it to be?’
‘The boys have arranged leave for next Friday, if Hynesy’s still with us. I’d have to stay overnight. Would you be all right by yourself?’
‘Don’t worry about that. Of course you should say goodbye to your friend.’
