Bobby pushed Lilian unceremoniously into the cottage and chucked her suitcase on the bed in her own room, which they were to share for the two days of her sister’s visit.
‘Is that why he seemed so awkward?’ Lilian asked. ‘He proposed and you turned him down? I thought you were keen on him.’
‘He was awkward because he’s been worrying about making a good impression on his sweetheart’s sister and you caught him covered in grass stains with a moustache drawn on his upper lip in boot polish.’
‘I said I was sorry for not telling you I’d be early, didn’t I?’ She cast an unimpressed glance around the austere parlour of Cow House Cottage. ‘So, have you turned the man down or not? You can’t tell me he hasn’t asked, the way he was looking at you. I’m not blind.’
‘I’ve turned him down many times, but he’s not taken no for an answer yet, thank God.’
‘Thank God? So you do want to marry him?’
‘I honestly don’t know. I mean, I do, but… there’s a lot to consider.’ Bobby choked on a little sob. ‘Oh my gosh, Lil, I’m so glad you’ve come.’
‘Sweetheart, what’s wrong?’ Lilian folded her into a hug.
‘It’s just… been so hard. I’ve needed to talk to you so badly. You don’t know how much I’ve missed having you here.’
‘Come into your room and we’ll sit on the bed and swap secrets, just as we used to do at home,’ Lilian said gently. ‘If you show me where everything is then I’ll even make us cocoa like Mam used to. Then you can tell me everything that’s wrong.’
Chapter 14
Lilian warmed some milk for their cocoa, and when they had a steaming mug each, the sisters went to perch on Bobby’s bed. Bobby rested her head on her sister’s shoulder as she nursed her drink, imagining they were back in the bedroom they’d shared for so much of their lives in the little house on Southampton Street. She missed the ugly olive carpet and the smell of Lilian’s perfumes and creams, but if she squinted, she could pretend they were back at home again and everything was as it had been.
‘Now tell me what’s wrong,’ Lilian said soothingly. ‘Is it Dad?’
‘No, not Dad – at least, that isn’t the main thing, although I am a little worried about him. It’s Charlie.’
Lilian bent her head to look into Bobby’s face. ‘I’m not sure I understand what the issue is. Did he withdraw his proposal after you refused him, is that it? And now you’ve realised what a big mistake you’ve made?’
‘No.He gave me an ultimatum – he wants a final answer before he leaves for RAF training.’ Bobby followed the spiral of steam rising from her cocoa mug with her eyes, watching as it disappeared. ‘There’s only a fortnight left to make up my mind. It’s been tearing me up, Lil.’
‘Why? You like him, don’t you?’
‘I like him.’ She choked on another sob. ‘I love him.’
Lilian blinked. ‘Love! That’s a strong word. I could tell you were fond of him, but you never mentioned love in your letters.’
‘It’s not the kind of thing it feels easy to write down. That’s why I begged you to come. I wanted to talk to you in person.’
‘Well, here I am,’ Lilian said, smiling. ‘I’m glad I came, if only to feel a little smug. I told you that you’d fall for a pair of handsome eyes one of these days, didn’t I?’
‘All right, don’t gloat,’ Bobby said, smiling too in spite of her tears.
‘So if you love him, what’s your worry? He loves you, you love him, he’s asked you to be his wife. Just say yes and you can both live happily ever after.’
‘It isn’t that simple. If I say yes then it changes everything for me, Lil.’
‘I know, in the best of ways.’
‘No.No, it doesn’t. I’d have Charlie, yes, but everything I’d planned to do in my life would be pushed aside, because a wife must be a wife first and foremost. And when bairns come along, there really can’t be any going back.’
She let out another little sob and Lilian passed her a clean handkerchief from the pocket of her Wren uniform.
‘You can’t seriously mean you’d consider turning down marriage with the man you’re in love with so you can work on that tinpot little magazine the rest of your life,’ she said in shocked disbelief.
Bobby had known Lilian would find it hard to understand her reasons for turning Charlie down. Her sister never had been able to grasp why Bobby was so determined to make it as a reporter, and even less so on a tiny country publication likeThe Tyke. For Lil, as for most of their girlfriends, love and romance conquered all – they had Hollywood to thank for those rose-coloured spectacles, Bobby reflected bitterly. The idea a woman would choose her job over the opportunity to have a home and family was utterly alien to them, and try as she might, Bobby never could get them to understand – not even her own twin sister.
‘It isn’t a tinpot little magazine,’ she said. ‘I mean it is, but it’s my tinpot little magazine. It’s important, Lil. You should see some of the letters we get, from soldiers serving overseas and people who’ve lost their homes in the bombings.’
