“You know, sugar, sometimes they never do.”
“Hey, I thought you were trying to make me feel better.”
“I am, but you need to face facts too.”
“Oh yeah, trust me, I’ve been doing that all week while working on their songs. Every day is torture. Listening to them play, thinking about him…them. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about it. Anything new?”
“Yeah a couple of things. The lawyer thinks he found a loophole to get them out of the contract with Rod, but they’d still be with Symmetry.”
“Damn.”
“No it’s okay, we can get them another manager. They aren’t all playing both sides of the fence.”
“How’d you find the loophole? I thought we were out of luck.”
“We were, until I talked to an old friend and he mentioned something we hadn’t thought of and sure enough there it was. So it’s just a matter of the lawyer drawing up the new paperwork dissolving the old contract, then the guys need to hire a new manager. Symmetry will have to send them a new contract and this time it’ll be fair.”
“That’s great. I’ll be happy to see dickman get kicked to the curb. It’ll be good for them.” I was happy, I really was. I didn’t understand how I could be so happy and so miserable at the same time. No matter what had happened between us, they were a damn good band and deserved their shot. It wasn’t right to have the deck stacked against them from the beginning.
“I heard Flame saying he was trying to get Michelle to come down for Saturday’s concert—that boy has it bad.”
“Yeah it sounds like it. She stayed with me for a few days and he kept calling.”
“Why don’t you come down with her?”
“You too? What is it with all of you? She keeps telling me she won’t go without me,and now you. Is there something going on I need to know about?”
“Not that I know of, except Chaos is missing you like crazy. He is all torn up you won’t answer his calls. Maybe even if you can’t forgive him, if you talk it out it’ll help?”
Inside my heart the wound opened wider and the blood poured from it like an open faucet. Didn’t they realize seeing him would be the end of me? I wanted to hate him, but I couldn’t stop loving him, and it made it all hurt worse. How could I have been so stupid to fall for someone in a rock band? It was like being Sleeping Beauty and knowing if I touched the spindle I would die, then touching it anyway.
“I don’t know, Joe. I’ll think about it, that’s all I can promise for now.”
“Thank you, but you only have two days until the show.”
“Yes, I know and I’ll remember.”
We talked a little more then hung up. I knew he’d call tomorrow and he’d ask me to come down again. I wondered if Chaos even realized they were all trying to get me to come down, or what a good friend he had inJoe. Could I stand to see him, to hear him sing?
It took time for wounds to heal and it’d been less than a week. Maybe if I gave it more time then went to see him it’d be better. I knew what Joe and Michelle were trying to do, but what if I wanted to avoid it?
I’d had enough work for one day. I cleaned up all the music sheets and went to figure out what to have for dinner. I wasn’t hungry but I learned the hard way if I didn’t eat at least once a day I was sick the next morning. Opening the fridge and the cabinets nothing looked appetizing so I settled for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk. It covered most of the food groups at least.
I turned on the TV and flipped to one of the news channels. The world was in a shitty place now that’s for sure, you couldn’t turn on the news without hearing how shitty things were for people, or more terrorist plots being uncovered. It was damn depressing. I’d been lucky my mother had a good job and life insurance, and she’d saved every penny of the money my father, or dickman sent. I didn’t have to work for atleast a year if I didn’t want to. Even the apartment was paid for, and all mine. But sitting around doing nothing wasn’t me either, I needed to be around people, and teaching little kids would be fun. Michelle and I had talked about teaching in the same school since we met. Hopefully next year it’d be a reality, unless she ran off with Flame.
Shit. Would she do that? Why not? She should if he made her happy. I’d be okay here. She could visit whenever they were touring nearby. Life on the road—not all that much fun—but not as bad as I’d thought either. Thinking about the bus made me think about Chaos, and thinking about Chaos took what little appetite I had away. I put the sandwich down after three bites and changed the channel on the TV hoping for a distraction.
An entertainment show came on and just my luck they were featuring Raining Chaos. They were in Atlanta interviewing them about the upcoming concerts. Chaos looked amazing, his long black hair tangled like usual and wearing torn jeans and a black t-shirt. Damn. I couldn’t turn away, it was like staring at a train wreck. I couldn’t hearwhat they were saying so I turned up the volume.
“Yes, Mandy, our first show is tomorrow night here at the Lakewood Amphitheater and it’s sold out as far as I know. The weather should be great and we’re excited to be in Georgia.”
She asked him something else and he laughed, the sound shot through me like a bolt of electricity and wrapped itself around my heart. Tears welled up in my eyes and I continued to stare at the TV long after his segment was over. I didn’t even hear the rest of the interview.
Damn it, I missed him, I wanted him, and I loved him. Was I a fool or should I just go and see what would happen?
I pulled out my phone to dial Michelle, when I saw the notification for a voicemail. It’d probably be a good idea to see what he had to say before I went down there, so pulled up my messages.
“Hi, Cyn, are you okay? Just let me know you’re okay.” Beep
