“She didn’t know your last name or couldn’t remember it so besides the picture it just says the songwriter from Symmetry records.”
“Really? She didn’t use my name?”
“Nope, she might not have known how to spell it, if she’d never seen it written. Eric said Chaos demanded she take the picture down, and she did. So it’s only there if anyone saved it.”
“Huh, maybe there’s hope yet?”
“Maybe. I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”
“Oh yeah.” Downing the second shot of rum, I was warm and getting tired. I really was a lightweight when it came to drinking. “I think I’m going back to bed. Are you still staying?”
“Yeah. See you in the morning. If you need me you know where I’ll be.”
Hugging her, I felt a little better as I headed off to bed.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chaos…
How could I have been so fuckin’ stupid? I knew better than to accuse someone for something without proof, and the notebook was hardly enough to say she’d been stealing from me. Fuck. I hadn’t slept all night, all I could think about was Cynda and how she must be feeling. At least Flame found out she was back home and safe.
He’d passed on the information from Michelle, and told her what Sweets had done. I can’t even imagine how fuckin’ pissed she must be. What kind of damage was it going to do to her reputation? Her job? They might even fire her for leaving if she didn’t write the songs anyway. I didn’t want her hurt.
The pillows still had her scent and as I rolled over the aroma of orange blossoms filled my nose. Instantly hard just thinking about her, I had a pain in my chest I’d never had before. What is it the song says? You don’t know what you want ‘til it’s gone? I drove away the only woman who made mefeel like a man, stood up to me and laughed with me. She fucking rocked my world. It wasn’t just the sex, it was everything, one amazing package of Cyn, and I’d thrown her away like she was fuckin’ garbage.
Fuck it. I needed to get off this bus. But we were on the way to Virginia and another show. This should have been amazing for all of us, but now it was a steaming pile of shit.
I couldn’t stay in my room or my bed. I needed to get away from the memories of her. Walking up to the front of the bus, I went to talk to Joe. He’d learned a lot about her in a few days.
“Hey, Joe.”
“Chaos. You’re up early. Everything okay?”
“Not really, hell fuck no, nothing’s okay.”
“The girls huh?”
“Yeah, well not just the girls but Cynda. How could I have been so fuckin’ wrong?”
“Because you’re young and you have trouble trusting people. This time you trusted the wrong one.”
Rubbing my palm over my face and pushed my hair back. Nothing would erase the hopeless feeling. “I know. I was just so mad, I didn’t think. It’s not that I trusted Sweets, more like I didn’t trust Cynda.”
Joe nodded. I should let him drive in peace, but it was just before sunrise and mostly trucks on the road. “Did you get ahold of her last night?”
“No, she won’t answer my calls. I tried over and over and left voicemails, but nothing.”
“She’s upset. When my wife got like that, it took her a couple of hours, then she’d calm down and we could talk. Although I never accused her of anything like you did. Damn, I wish you could have heard her sing your song. I’ll never forget it.”
My gut twisted into a bigger knot. I wished I’d heard her sing it too. I didn’t even remember what the lyrics were, I was so fuckin’ pissed off I barely read the words before I’d tossed the notebook.
Would she be able to forgive me? Could I fix things? “I’m going to try to call Rodonce it gets to be a little later, maybe he can figure something out.”
“I don’t know if you want to do that.”
“Why not?”
“Well, Cynda and I were talking. Rod isn’t the good guy you think he is.”
