Fuck you. Behave? Really. Who are you, my friggin’ father? “Looks like we’re getting company soon. Rod and the writer are on their way. He wants us to behave.”
The guys howled with laughter. Oh yeah, Rod was in for a rude awakening if he thought we’d behave because hetoldus to. So much for getting my drunk on. I’d have to put it off until after the gig tonight. This had to be handled right or it’d be a huge clusterfuck. No way were we going to record the new album unless we wrote the songs.
I screwed the cap on the bottle and shoved into the drawer of my dressing table and popped a breath mint. I didn’t need a lecture from Rod about drinking so early either. All of us learned a long time ago how to hold our booze, the only one we ever worried about was Rage. His anger would kill him some day if he didn’t get help, but none of us had been able to convince him of that yet.
Sitting there and watching my bros, I smiled at the only real family I had, well them and Jack and Sally Sherman who’d taken us all in when we had no place else. I always watched and listened, it was how I got the ideas for our songs. Catching people in unguarded moments, they’d let some stray thought escape and it would trigger a song in my head. I knew our songs were good, and not just because I wrote them, they had meaning that kicked us in the gut. It’s what our fans wanted, not some shit music they played on the radio. Besides who the fuck listened to the radio anymore?
Fury and Flame were trying to teach the girls how to play poker. It was taking them forever to catch on and it was funny as hell to watch. I knew one of these days, they’dturn around and clean us all out. It was just a matter of time, and I figured it would be Candy too. You always had to watch out for the quiet ones. Fury looked up and winked when he caught me watching. “I think you better hold off on the stripping until after rehearsal. It’ll only get out of hand.”
“Whatever,” Flame said as he flipped me the bird.
Sweets blew a kiss to me and winked before leaning down low enough to make sure I’d see her cleavage. What the fuck was that? I shook my head, I didn’t get it. She was like a little sister to me, both her and Candy. No way would I touch that. None of us would, we were their protectors not their boyfriends.
Hearing Rod’s voice echoing in the hallway had the effect of a wet blanket on all of us and triggered instant silence in the room. It was like being caught by the teacher doing something you weren’t supposed to. I shrugged, and tried to look reassuring. It was what it was, and we’d figure it out—sounded like a good story but even I didn’t really believe it. The scotch burned in the pit of my stomach as I braced myself for thetrouble about to walk through the dressing room door.
I was already tense, but I about shit a brick when Rod walked in with a woman, actually she looked more like a little girl, hiding behind bangs and big glasses. What the fuck? How the fuck did they think she’d be able to write our songs?
ChapterTwo
Cynda…
Rod Dixon was an asshole, or maybe it’s all agents? I wonder if they give them asshole cards when they got their first job. Hiding my grin I pushed my hair behind my ears and rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans. I can’t believe I actually got this job—writing songs for Raining Chaos. Holy shit. Their first album was huge, and finding out Mr. Warner wanted me to help them with the second one was a big surprise. He’d said Chaos wasn’t getting ‘it’ this time and it was my job to fix it. What could I say to that? I didn’t get it, especially after hearing the demos of the songs for the second album. But it was a job and I had to do what I had to do.
They were leaving on tour in a couple of days so after this meeting I’d be on my own to work on the songs. At least that’s the plan, which is exactly what I wanted to happen. The further I stayed away from self-centered rockers the happier I’d be.
For the millionth time since her death, I wished mom hadn’t made me promise to try to do something with my talent. She knew how much I resented this world, but I’d promised and I wouldn’t break it. I could handle this for a while, right? Ugh. What was dickman saying? Shit, he’s opening the door. Get a grip girl, they’re only musicians. Just a group of guys who got lucky, I don’t have to like them, only do the job.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm my racing heart. I really needed to work on this freak out thing if I was going to do this job. I’d be meeting rock stars all the time. Raining Chaos was just another rock band, so what if every song resonated in me like Chaos was singing about my life. I couldn’t let it or him affect me, they’re just a bunch of drugged out rockers.
“Hey, guys, I’d like you to meet Cynda Pearson. She’s the songwriter from Symmetry Records.”
I walked around Rod and into a room filled with cigarette smoke and the smell of beer, and looked into the hypnotic hazel eyes of the lead singer and songwriter for Raining Chaos—Chaos.Oh shit. He’s even moregorgeous in person. Seeing him this close was like a dream. I should’ve been teaching a kindergarten class right now, not standing in a rock band’s dressing room. But I couldn’t take my eyes off him. The grey streak in his long black hair was even sexier in person, and I wanted to run my hands through and see if it was as soft as it looked. No one knew whether the streak was real or dyed. He’d never answered the question, and I wondered if I’d be able to figure it out if I touched it.
My mind and my insides were fighting with each other. I loved music, although I usually listened to classical, hating most rock music for what it had done to my mother. Okay, maybe not the music so much, but the man. Still, standing in front of the real life version of my fantasies for the last two years almost knocked me over. My heart raced and I rubbed my now-sweaty palms against my jeans. Oh God, I had it bad. I’d never been this turned on by just looking at a man. At that moment I wasn’t sure Chaos was an ordinary man. Hell, my inner voice was screaming to push him down on the table and climb all over him. What was wrong with me?
He was sitting at one of the tables so I couldn’t see much of his body, but what I did see was hotter than hell. His black t-shirt strained against his shoulders and chest and I was betting he had a six-pack under there. Realizing I was staring, my cheeks burned with heat and it was a sure sign I was red as anything. As I slid my gaze back up to his face our eyes met. He looked kind of surprised actually, and I wondered why. I tried to look away but I couldn’t break my gaze.
Blushing, and trying not to puke my breakfast, I gulped down too much air and started choking. Way to make an entrance, Cyn…good one. Michelle was going to laugh her ass off when I told her about it later. Mr. Dickman asked me if I was okay. Shit, really. I shook my head and took a couple of deep breaths, and thank God it helped to stop the coughing. Of course now my voice was all rough and my cheeks must be practically glowing like Rudolph’s nose by now. As mortifying as it was, it probably wouldn't matter anyway. I doubted they’d remember me as soon as I walked out the door, and if I was lucky, I’d never see them again except in my music on my iPad.
“Hi, I’m Cynda Pearson.” I lifted my hand to wave while trying to look professional. Fat chance after practically hacking up a lung two minutes earlier, but hell a girl had to try. Pushing my glasses back up my nose, I glanced around the room. But my gaze was drawn back to him, the man of my fantasies and lonely nights with my Hitachi.
Chaos didn’t look happy, none of them did. I guess they weren't too thrilled to see me. I didn’t blame them, it had to suck to be told your work wasn’t good enough. A job was a job and I needed this one, besides if I didn’t do it they’d hire someone else. A chill ran down my spine, and I shivered and was sweaty at the same time. It was like an omen of things to come and I couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow my life was never going to be the same.
No one said a thing as Rod pushed me further into the room. A knot formed in my stomach the size of a tennis ball and I wondered again why mom thought this would be such a great job. Good thing she couldn’t see me now.
“C’mon, guys. You know how to act better than this,” Rod said as he looked around the room. All of them avoided his eyes like he had the plague except for Chaos who looked like he’d take his head off if he could get away with it. Seeing his expression made my stomach churn more.
“Yeah, right,” Chaos said and waved me over to the table where he was sitting. I clutched my iPad like it was a life preserver. Damn.Deep breaths, Cyn. You can handle this. I loosened my grip and reminded myself I wasn’t some awestruck groupie. Well maybe I was a little, but I didn’t have to act like one. He pushed a chair out with his foot and I sat across from him. The room was eerily quiet and I wondered what they were waiting for. I placed the iPad on the table and clasped my hands in my lap. I’d brought some notes I’d made for songs after hearing the demos at the record company, and hoped we’d be able to talk about them today. From the way it was looking, it didn’t seem like it would be happening.
“Cynda? That’s your name?”
“Yes, it is, and you’re Trent right?”
His eyebrows shot up in surprise, I guess he wasn’t used to hearing his ‘real’ name.
“No one calls me Trent anymore.”
“Right, okay then.” I pushed my glasses up my nose as he leaned his chair back, balancing it on two legs. He was looking at me like I had two heads or something. Maybe my hair was sticking straight up? Or there were black streaks of mascara running down my face? I should have looked in the mirror before I came in here. The tennis ball in my stomach grew a little bigger and rolled around in an acid sea. I kind of understand why they wouldn’t be happy, I was an intruder into their little world, but they didn’t have to act like asses, especially him. Can’t he see it’s just a job for me?
