I wanted to call Cyn or Teresa. I needed girl talk, encouragement, and back up. But could I trust them not to tell their guys? I knew there’d be no way in hell Chaos and Wrath wouldn’t tell Flame if they found out. I didn’t have anyone else to talk to though. The only relative I had was my grandmother and even though she raised me we never really got along. I think she blamed me for my parent’s death somehow. I was five when they died, what could I have done?
Dropping the phone onto the table, I curled into a ball on the couch with my drink. Cold, scared and my little freak out destroyed the affects from the scotch. Not good. I’d hoped it would help take the edge off. Draining the glass the heat left a warm trail to my stomach, but it didn’t warm me, and I was still restless. Opening the drapes, I stared out at the city. New York really never did sleep. Traffic sped along Park Avenue, lights glowed from all the buildings,and it looked like one of those post cards of New York at night.
I wanted to climb into bed and cuddle up against Flame, but I couldn’t. It was the principle of the thing. Instead, shivering in the muted lights of the city, I grabbed another bottle of scotch and brought it to the couch. Mixing another drink, I pulled my robe tighter around me and curled my legs up underneath. Staring at the TV and listening to the endless repetition of the overnight news programs I must have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew, I was clinging to Flame as he held me in his arms and told me everything would be okay.
Chapter Eight
Flame…
I popped straight out of a sound sleep totally confused. What the fuck? Why was I awake? The light peeking through the mostly drawn curtains showed dawn was just breaking, and the clock said six thirty a.m. No reason to be up this early. Then I heard it—Michelle yelling, her voice filled with fear.
“No. No, go away. Leave me alone.”
What the fuck? Not bothering to even pull on my jeans, I ran into the main room of the suite. I expected to find her arguing with someone, which would have been weird but, hell I was still half asleep. The curtains were open, the TV on but I didn’t see her anywhere.
“No. Please don’t…” she whimpered.
Then I saw her on the couch, curled up in a ball and…asleep. Gathering her into my arms I rocked her until she woke. “It’ll be okay. Wake up babe. Shhh. It’s okay.” At first she didn’t respond except to wrap herarms around me. I wondered what the fuck she’d dreamed about. Tears glistened on her cheeks in the pale light like diamonds. The shaking slowed as did her whimpering, but what triggered it? It must have been some fucked up dream.
Finally her eyes opened and she tensed, her going body stiff in my arms. Then she relaxed hopefully because she realized it was me. I had my answer when she laid her head on my chest. Pulling her onto my lap, I continued to rock her until her shaking stopped.
“Are you okay, baby? That must have been some nightmare.”
“It was,” she said, her face against my chest.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Okay. How about we go to bed and get some sleep?” At first I thought she was going to say no but she nodded her head. Carrying her into the room I tucked her into bed and slid in next to her.
No sooner had I gotten under the covers when she cuddled against me. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, I didn’t realize how much I missed the feel of her in my arms. She rested her head on my shoulder, her warm tears dampening my chest. I wished she’d talk to me. I didn’t know what to do or say. This was way out of my fuckin’ comfort zone. My insides knotted tighter with each tear hitting my chest. I needed to talk to someone, maybe Candy. Hopefully she’d give me some ideas. At least in spite of last night Michelle forgave me enough to get into bed and let me hold her.
I lifted her face and kissed her lips gently, offering what I could to soothe her. At first she didn’t respond but then her lips parted against mine. My intent wasn’t to get us worked up, just to show her I loved her, even if I couldn’t say the words out loud—yet I hoped she’d be able to feel it. She tasted of sleep and scotch and I pulled back before it got out of hand. Tucking her head under my chin, I stared at the ceiling wondering what scared her enough for her to have this reaction. It was very un-Michelle-like and itworried me. Just what had been going on while I was away?
Eventually her breathing evened out as she nodded off. But it was quite a while before I fell asleep.
Michelle…
I woke to the sound of the shower and the sun shining through the open curtains. How did I get in bed? Pulling up the covers, I was still in my robe, and was more on his side of the bed than mine. Then everything flooded back—the fight, the text message, and waking from the nightmare in Flame’s arms. Holy shit. Remembering the dream raised goosebumps all over. No more scotch before bed for me.
“Morning baby, I hope I didn’t wake you?”
“Morning.” I was still distracted with the memory of the dream, at least until his towel-wrapped body came into view. Hot damn. The sun caught the water droplets glistening in his hair and reflected like little stars. If possible, he was in better shape thanever, his six-pack even more accentuated. Amazingly drool didn’t run down my chin just thinking about licking him from his neck to the top of the towel and ripping it off with my teeth. I guess the nightmare cured my mad, at least for the moment. Now I was hot and wanting him again. Why did he have to be so drop dead sexy?
“Are you okay? You freaked me out last night. Do you remember any of it—the dream I mean?”
“No, not really,” I answered, lying and lowering my eyes to his waist. I couldn’t look at him without him figuring it out. I couldn’t lie to save my life, but I wasn’t planning on sharing until I figured it out. “I’m okay now. Thanks for taking care of me.”
“Damn. Don’t you realize how much you mean to me?” He sat on the edge of the bed and took my hand. Our eyes met and his were filled with concern. I wanted to trust him, actually I wanted to push him down on the bed and fuck him, until we both forgot about last night, but I restrained myself. I needed to figure this shit out and it would be bugging me until I did.
“I care about you too.”
“Is that it?”
“What do you mean?”
“You just ‘care’ about me?”
