“Don’t, just don’t.”
Dropping onto his back he rubbed his hands over his face and through his hairmaking it stand up in weird spikes. For a second I was going to take pity on him and chalk it up to him being a guy, but seriously?
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply…”
“That I’m a ho? Or a skank ho maybe? Like the bitch draped all over you in London?”
“Fuck. No. Just be quiet and let me talk for a sec, okay?”
Be quiet? Be quiet? I nodded, and crossed my arms to keep from slapping the stupid ass. I was so aggravated I was vibrating. It took every ounce of focus to keep the tears from spilling. Sometimes it really sucked being female. Men get pissed they yell, storm around, and throw things. Women cry and slam doors. What the hell? Who thought that shit up?
“I do not think you cheated on me. Okay? But I would have understood. Wait, I know you’re going to bite my fucking head off. Let me finish.”
I barely held back a growl. This is what I waited four months to have? What the hell happened to the Flame I knew and loved before the tour? Is this a case of the potcalling the kettle black? My grandmother’s expressions always came back to me at the weirdest times. Did he cheat on me?
“I had a brain fart and worried I’d get you pregnant. Then my brain went there, wondering if you were clean. Not because I thought you cheated on me but because we never talked about it before. It never came up and I always used rubbers.”
Leaning against the headboard, with my arms crossed over my breasts, sheet pulled up to my chin, I’m sure I didn’t look very forgiving. I wasn’t. But he did have a point, we never talked about it. Stupid. Yup it was, but I fell in lust at first sight and by the third time we were together I’d fallen head over heels. Who knows maybe it was love at first sight. I’d never, ever gone to bed with a guy I just met.
True he’s a rock star, but I’m not an empty headed groupie hoping to make my bed by getting pregnant and be taken care of for the rest of my life. I knew all there was about him. I’d had it bad for him since the first time I saw Raining Chaos play. Cyn didn’t know I went to see them at the Shaggy Dog. A few of our friends from college weregoing on a Friday night, and she was with her mother. It was towards the end and she hardly left her side. So I went with them. Figured why not. Then I saw him, his fingers flying over the keyboards, his hair like brushed gold in the stage lights. He was wearing a leather vest and jeans. His chest hard, chiseled, and smooth. My mouth dried up and I couldn’t even drool as he moved and his vest parted exposing his silver nipple piercing. I swear it winked at me as it caught the lights. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He was so God damned sexy. Holy shit.
After the first time, I’d gone to a few more shows but never talked to him. A pink haired bitch was always hanging on him, okay it was his girlfriend but damn she looked like one of those skanks who follow the bands around. I wasn’t going to do that shit.
“Okay so maybe you might have a point. You still suck, though.”
“I know. Do you forgive me?”
“Nope not yet.”
He had such a pitiful look on his face I wanted to, I really did. But I couldn’t shakethe niggling feeling there was more going on. “I am clean. I’ve also never fucked a guy without a condom, and I’m on the pill. So you can stop worrying.”
“Good,” he said and winced. He needed to take some lessons in being tactful or something. Asshat. “Sorry. I think maybe we should go to sleep and try this again in the morning. Maybe then I won’t be such a fuckin’ asshole.”
“Really? You think? Although at this point I don’t think it’s possible for you not to be an asshole.”
“Michelle…”
“Nope, I think I’ll go watch some TV. I’m not tired anymore. Imagine that?”
“I’ll come with you.”
“I’m fine. Get some rest.” Wishing I put my robe near the bed, I had to walk to the closet stark naked. Even though I kept my back to him I knew he wasn’t feeling remorse, not if he was staring at my ass. Pulling the hotel supplied robe off the hanger and wrapping it around me, I left the bedroom without saying a word.
Stopping at the mini-bar on the way to the couch, I grabbed a single serve bottle of Johnny Walker Black and a bottle of club soda, put some ice in a glass, and carried it all to the couch. I left the lights off and clicked the TV. Sipping the drink, I finally let the tears flow. It was safe, no one was around. If no one sees them they didn’t really happen, right?
I’d wanted tonight to be so different. I missed him so much. I thought we’d spend the entire night making love, broken up by short periods of cuddling, and chatting while we recovered.
There was nothing on TV to distract me, so I left one of the news channels on. Two a.m. doesn’t give you many options in a hotel. At Cyn’s apartment I would have put on a movie, and if I’d brought my iPad I could have done it here too. But nope, stupid me figured all my time would be taken up by Flame. Except the flame was extinguished, at least for now.
The roses caught my eye. How could he be so thoughtful one moment and be such a jackass the next? Shaking my head and taking another drink of scotch, the smoothburn warmed me from the inside. I hoped Teresa and Wrath were having a better time.
My phone vibrated on the coffee table. Picking it up, I swiped my finger to unlock the screen. A text from a blocked number. A shiver slid down my spine as I stared at the message.
Blocked: “He doesn’t want you.”
What the hell? My first instinct was to throw the phone across the room. Thank God I didn’t, what good would that have done? The freaked out feeling from earlier returned big time, and all the little hairs on the back of my neck tingled, but at least my tears stopped. I hated crying. Stupid girly shit. Now to figure out who sent the text. The number was blocked, I did okay with computers but I wasn’t super geeky. I need to get help, but did I want it from Flame? I was still pissed at him, and this might make it worse. I’d have to figure it out on my own.
Did it have something to do with the guy from the park? Or something totally different? Why now? Flame was gone for over four months and now he’s back all this shit was going on? The only problem I’d been dealing with, if you could call it that,was the crap about dating a rock star from the principle. It was stupid, there was no reason why I shouldn’t be allowed to date whoever I wanted. It’s not like he was a danger to the kids.
