Once my head is steady, I give him a look, with my eyebrow raised. “Really? I took you for the type. Designer clothing and all.”
“Don’t talk to me as though yours isn’t,” he says while sitting up slowly and putting the footrest of the recliner down with a cringe.
“True,” I agree. “Though, cotton is generally less expensive than silk and satin.” I’m teasing him now, and trying to steer his mind away from the subject of why I was there tonight, and why he was there as well.
It doesn’t work. He ignores what I just said and glares at me instead.
“This was your fault. I know it.” He points at me briefly. When he tries to stand, he falters and I find myself reaching out to place a hand on his back.
He shrugs away from me. “Get your hands off me.”
“You’re the one who went to a poker game looking for a fight,” I remind him. Though I know I’m just talking shit. I know what I did. Even if I don’t want to admit it.
Is that it? I just don’t want to, not that I shouldn’t?
Eivor will be pissed; there’s nothing I can do to stop that now… But Carmine. Is what I’m doing some poor attempt at remaining pure in his eyes somehow? Loyal?
Am I just a scared little bitch who doesn’t want him to know I betrayed him? That I’ve been betraying him this entire time?
My jaw clenches.
“You gave me that information and don’t pretend like it was an accident,” he accuses as he steadies himself, putting most of his weight onto his good side. “I thought…fuck, I was stupid enough to think it had been; that you’d given me that little tidbit of info just so I knew. That you wouldn’t expect me to actually look into it and find them. I should’ve known better.”
I swallow hard. Watching the darkness cross over his face makes my blood pump through me even harder. Guilt. Arousal. Frustration. Want. They’re all there.
“Tell me, Soren…when did you decide to royally fuck me over?” he asks me, “No, no, wait. Actually. When did you decide that decision was a bad one and to jump in at the last fucking second to do the right thing?”
I huff. “The right thing?” I ask him. “You know who our families are, for fucks sake. Good, bad, right, wrong…what is it anymore? So, your family is the right one, mine is the wrong? Is that it? I’m just supposed to bow down and kiss all your asses ‘cause I wanna keep you safe? Ignore my duty and loyalty tomyfamily for yours?”
Carmine grabs the can with the bullet and pliers in it and tosses it across the room with a clatter. “You’re the one who came to me!” he yells at me, voice weak. “Eivor asked us totake your protection, to work with you. Despite refusing any solid deal besides working the club and more money. Despite refusing to become true allies. I’d be willing to work something out, but you damn Fiorellis are so fucking stubborn, like you were dropped on your heads off a four-story building, caught by angels, and think that you’re gods.”
“We think we’re gods? Your father treated everyone, including his own family, like they owed him something just for breathing nearby a tree that happened to be on his land,” I spit back at him. My face is heated, my hands curled into fists at my side. I know he’s right.
I’m wrong.
I’m struggling to maintain the façade.
“Don’t you talk about him,” Carmine comes at me with his fist raised. I grab it and shove it away from me.
“I want to protect you, Carmine,” I tell him honestly, lowering my voice. “You think I’d be here if I didn’t?”
“Then tell me the truth, Soren, for fucks sake.” Carmine’s voice breaks in a way that makes me close my eyes and suck in a deep breath.
I’m not sure what I expect to come out of my mouth, but when I open it, shit just pours out. And not the bullshit that has been. The truth.
“Fine. I told you where they’d be on purpose. I knew there was a chance you’d show up there. That you couldn’t let the opportunity pass by. I thought…maybe, I hoped that you wouldn’t be that stupid, that reckless,” I tell him, eyes still closed. I can’t look at him, not now. Not yet. “I knew they were waiting for you.”
“Why, Soren?” he asks me, and I feel him step even closer.
I’m quiet.
“Open your eyes. Look at me,” he demands. “Face me like a man.”
I can’t help but laugh and open my eyes. “You still need proof I’m a man after everything I’ve done? We’ve done?” I ask him, waving an arm. “Maybe…maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m not a man; I’m just a fucking scarecrow.”
Carmine is staring at me now. “What the fuck are you on about?” he asks me. “Why did you set me up, Fiorelli? What’s going on here? I’m tired of the vague ass answers.”
I shake my head, mostly at myself. “My uncle wants to take over,” I tell him point blank. “He wants more power than you’re willing to give him, and…you’re at the top of the list of who is in his way.”
