“Don’t be silly, Lydia. You know full well there is no chance of our getting married. I think it’s quite clear from seeing Lady Honoria that I am not the kind of woman he would want as a wife. I lack all the qualities she possesses. And I do not want to get married anyway,” she said, this last part not to remind Lydia but to remind herself.
As she gazed at Nathaniel, she did find herself wondering what it would be like to be his wife, to stand beside him and listen to him asking her to marry him. To dance with him at every ball, to kiss him nightly.
And now there was nobody else making a claim to be his duchess.
Might there still be a chance for her after all?
Did she even want it?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“What exactly did she say?” Nathaniel asked. He was still reeling from his conversation with Charlotte. There were so many other things he wanted to say, but it was entirely the wrong location. How could he talk about their kiss in such an open forum? If the wrong person should overhear, his entire life would unravel.
Beatrice was close to tears. Her hands were shaking, and it was all she could do to remain upright.
“That something came up at home. It was a poor excuse, Nathaniel, so very poor. It’s shameful. Utterly shameful. I can’t believe that she would act like this. I thought she was perfect. I thought everything was arranged.”
“It can’t be helped, Mother,” Nathaniel said. While Beatrice was beside herself with disappointment, Nathaniel felt relieved. He hated to admit it, but everything that Charlotte said was true. He wasn’t sure that a marriage forged by duty would be fulfilling.
For the first time in his life, he was considering his own feelings over the duty he needed to perform. And that was because of Charlotte.
“But I worked so hard. Her parents were overjoyed. She seemed happy here as well. And the way you two looked when you danced… Oh, Nathaniel, I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize, Mother. She has a mind of her own, and she has the right to make her own decisions. If she did not feel that marrying me was right for her, then she should be applauded for stepping away.”
“But itshouldhave been right. I don’t understand. Everything about this should have worked. It was all arranged.” Beatrice was shaking her head. Her hands were open, as though she were trying to grasp an answer from the air itself.
“Things are not always as straightforward as we would like them to be. Mother, Lady Honoria, and I… Things were stilted between us. I’m not sure it was a natural connection.”
“But it would have developed in time. She just needs to be patient. Perhaps I shall contact her parents tomorrow and see if any misgivings can be resolved.”
“Mother, she has made her decision. We should respect it,” Nathaniel said. Now that he was freed of an unwanted courtship with Honoria, he did not wish to plunge back into it. It was Charlotte he wanted.
He just wasn’t sure how to get through to her.
“But… but…” Beatrice muttered, staring at Nathaniel with disbelief, as though the man before her wasn’t her son at all. Nathaniel tried to placate her, but after the lengths Beatrice had gone to in order to find a woman who met Nathaniel’s requirements, it wasn’t surprising that Beatrice was confused when Nathaniel did not seem bothered by Honoria’s exit.
“Bea dear, don’t you worry, I’m here for you!” Agatha cooed as she pushed through a nearby cluster of people and came to stand beside Beatrice. She wrapped her arms around Beatrice and put her head on Beatrice’s shoulder.
“I can see you’re upset. Come with me, and we’ll go and get some refreshments and some fresh air. The last thing you need is to be in this stuffy house. Let’s go and talk about it. I’ve suffered many disappointments over the years.” She pulled Beatrice away, and for once Beatrice did not resist.
Nathaniel took a deep breath. He looked across the room and noticed that Charlotte was talking with Lydia. Her profile was on display. He traced the outline of her dainty nose, as well as the auburn hair that fell around her shoulders. He cursed himself for not having made the most of the opportunity to dance with her. Something happened to his mind when they were in proximity. His thoughts became addled, as though he’d had too much champagne.
Alfred came sidling up to him.
“’Tis a shame about Lady Honoria,” he said quietly.
Nathaniel furrowed his brow.
“Does everyone know?”
“They know she left. I’m not sure everyone knows that she’s not interested in marrying you.”
“Did Mother tell you?”
“She didn’t have to. I saw them talking. Lady Honoria left hurriedly, and the way Mother reacted… it didn’t take much to deduce the truth. I’m sorry that things didn’t work out this time.”
“Are you?”
