The memory fades after that point. I think we found the controllers and I kicked his ass in several rounds of various fighting games. It’s frustrating how all that time has gone and I was in it in the moment, but I won’t ever be able to recall all of it ever again, and the more I try to, the less I will be able to. Every time I think about that moment, it’s going to shift and change and… fuck. The only way to keep a memory truly pristine is not to have it.
Philosophical misery about memory aside, I’d put fucking money on the girl from the cemetery being Teddy’s secret girlfriend. And I’d put even more money on her being the reason he’s gone.
I could have told my brothers about it, but I already know what they would have done. Made a fucking taskforce, probably. Aiden would have taken over. He would have asked me a thousand questions, and I would have had answers for two of them. He would have found the girl and interrogated her and tipped her off or freaked her out or both.
Leo would either have fucked her or killed her—or both, knowing that sick fuck.
I’m the only one I trust to get to the girl. My plan is to break out of this rinky-dink rehab, or use it as a private base of operations. It was easier when the fence wasn’t electrified, but that’s something I am sure I can work around.
I won’t be able to get to her for a few days. They’ll put me through the usual group and solo therapy stuff first, but once I get out of here, I’ll be able to move around without Aiden or anyone else knowing what I am doing.
I don’t like being monitored by my family, or answering to authority. But Aiden and Leo will abandon me to this place, I’m certain of it. Aiden especially will go back to focusing on work and business. Leo will do… what Leo does.
And I will avenge Teddy. Properly.
The days of waiting are fucking awful. Clipboard circles back around day five.
“We know you lied.”
“About what?” I’m worried for a moment that he knows I’m clean and that he’s worked out, somehow, why I am really here.
“That urine was not yours.”
Oh, we’re having that conversation. Great. About time. I relax back into the comfortable old skin of an addict. Nobody trusts us, and most of the time they are absolutely right not to. Technically he is right. I am lying. Just not about my pee.
“You want to watch me piss?”
“There’s no point now. Most of the drugs would have made it out of your system by this stage. Except some of the ones we gave you when you came in here to calm you down.”
“So why are we having this conversation?”
“So you know that I am on to you. Oh, and your brother is going to come and see you today during visiting hours.”
“Which brother?”
Clipboard walks away.
I bet it’s Leo. Aiden wouldn’t come to a place like this. Fuck. I do not need Leo breathing down my neck. The whole point of coming here was to isolate myself for a bit so I could do what needed to be done.
I get myself cleaned up, but not too cleaned up. I can’t be seen looking too sharp or too put together, or Leo will work it out. Then I go to what they call the Family and Friends room, just to avoid giving it the same name jails and prisoners give their visitors rooms, though it may as well be the same fucking thing.
Something about the way the furniture is built and scaled in this place always seems off. Or maybe it’s just the fact that Leo and I are built on bigger lines than most people. Either way, my slick-suited brother looks like he’s been seated accidentally at the kiddy table when I approach.
“It’s good to see you,” he says. He sounds relieved. He’s going to go back and tell Aiden I looked okay. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine. You don’t have to be here,” I say. “It’s nice that you came, but…”
“I don’t want to lose another brother,” Leo says. He’s got a solemnity to him that I really don’t enjoy.
Ah, fucking hell. “You’re not going to lose me,” I promise him.
“Aiden wants me to stay around, but I have some things to do. So I’ll be close. You can call on me if you need to. I want you to know I’m here for you.”
“Aren’t you going to get bored out here?”
He gives me a smile that I know bodes trouble. “I’ve brought something with me to entertain myself.”
“Leo, you don’t need to be here. I don’t need to be babysat. I know Aiden told you, but…”
