REID: Morning, Sunshine.Sleep well?
SUMMER: Morning, handsome.I slept great.Didn’t have anyone wrapping themselves around me or snoring in my ear.What about you?
I grin at my screen because she’s such a terrible liar.We’ve spent the past few weeks alternating between our homes.We mostly stay at her house, which I surprisingly don’t mind.There have only been a few nights where we’ve stayed in our own beds alone.Last night was one of them.Things have been going great between the two of us and I’ve even managed to perfect the whole date night thing.First date night, I took her to my granddad’s to play Harry Potter Cluedo.She loved it, and was surprised by my choice.She even went as far as to tell me it was the best first date she had ever been on.Second date, I took her to a sushi bar in town, as she had been talking about wanting to go to one.Third date, we stayed in and made food together.She even came to dinner with my mum.She fit in like she had always been there.As much as I’m annoyed that I’ve missed out on this for years, I know I wouldn’t have had it with anyone else.I mean, there has been no one else I’ve even thought about entering a relationship with.I’ve never once before looked at a girl and thought, I want more; I want to spend every night with you.I had spent years fearing committing to one woman.Years mocking and looking down on those who chose a monogamous relationship.Turns out, I just wasn’t ready for Summer.I’m ready now.
REID: Not great actually.I had no one to cuddle all night.I had to turn my fan on for white noise because I missed the little huffs and puffs you make in your sleep.
SUMMER: I find that hard to believe.Hunter is fantastic at giving cuddles and he snores like his owner, so you wouldn’t have needed the fan.
REID: I don’t snore.And Hunter isn’t you.There’s only one you.
SUMMER: How was it with Isaac last night?
Unlike with my family, I have spoken with Summer about Isaac.Not about the guilt I feel.She picked up on the tension, so I told her how he had been acting toward me, hoping I had been wrong about my brother blaming me.She thinks he’s struggling with what happened to him, and most likely doesn’t know how to act around me now.
REID: He was playing the Xbox with Luke when I got back but conveniently felt tired the minute I offered to play.Then this morning, he snapped at me for asking if he was okay.
SUMMER: I’m sorry.You should talk to him about this.I don’t like seeing you hurt, and this is hurting you more than you are letting on.You don’t deserve this.Neither does he.
REID: I don’t think I could handle hearing him blame me for the accident.
SUMMER: Blame you?What the hell!Reid, he doesn’t blame you.There’s nothing to blame you for.Is that what you’ve been thinking this entire time?
REID: I am the reason he got hurt.
SUMMER: No, you are not.And Isaac wasn’t the only one who got hurt that day.You did too.
SUMMER: I’m at the spa.Can you come over on your break?I want to see you but I don’t want to abuse my friendship with Paisley by leaving work.It feels wrong, but I know she’ll let me take a break at the same time you do.I wish you were here.I don’t like you thinking he blames you.
REID: I’ll come over on my break.I’m not sure when it will be.I’m on site all day today but we have inventory to do and more stock coming in.I know he blames me.It’s no big deal.I’m just glad he’s alive to hate me.
SUMMER: Honey...Go speak to him.
The sliding door squeaks on its hinges as it slides open, and I lower my phone quickly and glance up.
My stomach flips as I see Isaac on his support crutches walking in.“What are you doing?You shouldn’t be out.You heard the doctor.You need a few more weeks of rest.”
“I’m sorry for snapping at you.Landon, of all people, called me out, and then Paisley talked me through how you were at the hospital and that I acted unfairly.”
I try to hide how much it bothers me that he’s here because Landon told him to come.In fact, it pisses me off a little.He thinks I’m really that sensitive that I’d be upset over him snapping at me?He doesn’t even bring up how he’s been acting with me the entire time, period.“Go home, Isaac.”
“That’s it?You aren’t going to call me out on it or ask me why?”
I kick a box of plastic scraps across the room.“I don’t fucking need to.Your behaviour for a while now has shown me exactly why.You blame me.I get it, okay?I’m sorry.I’m so fucking sorry I couldn’t stop you from falling.”
“Are you fucking serious?”Jaxon growls, storming into the room.
I throw my hands up in the air.“Oh my god, for fucking once, would you not use something like this as a reason to fucking have a go atme,” I yell at him.“I don’t need a lecture.Listen to my fucking words, Jaxon.Igetwhy he fucking blames me.I had him in my fucking hands and I still couldn’t help.I fucked up.I made it worse for everyone.Again.”Mum walks in next, Paisley, Wyatt and Eli at her side.I scoff at the timing.I feel fucking caged as it is and now I have them all here as witnesses.“Oh, this is fucking great.All of you just say what you’ve wanted to say since the accident.I shouldn’t have let him fall.This is my fault.”
“Reid, no,” Mum whispers.
“I fucking tried,” I growl, my gaze on Isaac, who is now leaning against the shelves, his complexion pale.“I really fucking tried to keep a hold of you.”I hold my hand up that hasn’t fully healed yet.“Do you really think I wouldn’t have traded injuries if I could?Do you think I wouldn’t rather have been the one who fell?Jesus.I’m so fucking sorry.And you know what else?I don’t care that you all blame me.I blame myself.I see you fall over and over again and I can’t do anything no matter how much Iwillit in my head.I hear you on replay, pleading with me not to let you go.I see the bar go through you on a loop.I can still smell the blood no matter how much I try to mask it with other scents.I can’t change what happened.Don’t you think I wish I could?So keep blaming me.I’m too fucking relieved that you’re heretocare that you blame me.”
I’m panting heavily when I stop.Mum and Paisley have tears in their eyes.Jaxon isn’t even looking at me.His gaze is on Isaac.Wyatt is staring at me like he doesn’t even know me.And Isaac...his head is bowed, attention on the floor at his feet.
Jaxon moves, coming at me, and I brace myself for him to swing.Instead, his arms come around me, pulling me in for a hug.“Stop.You are breaking my heart.”He pulls back, grasping my shoulders.“No one blames you.My comment earlier was because I couldn’t believe that is what you’ve been thinking all this time.I didn’t even see it.I thought you were okay.No one in this room or in our family is to blame for what happened.You keep talking like you dragged him there, like you were the only one who could have helped him.There were a few of us there, Reid.”
“He blames me,” I choke out.My eyes sting and I glance away.“He can’t even be in the same room as me.”
