“Mom?”Joey’s tearful voice comes from the side.
Turning my head, I groan, the movement nauseating me again.
“Come here.”My throat is dry, so my voice cracks, but Joey quickly climbs into bed with me.The sound of a heartbeat registers, and I glance down at the monitors on my belly.“Are you okay?”I ask, brushing the dark hair off his forehead.
“I was scared.”
“Me too.”Dropping a kiss on the top of his head, we lay silently for a bit before I ask, “Where are your sisters?”
“With Aura.She wanted to distract them, so they went shopping and to get lunch.She said they’ll be here after Em has a nap.”I’m afraid to ask about Carmine; it’s hard to get that haunted expression out of my head.
A nurse joins us a few minutes later, explaining that my blood sugar was low and now that they’ve got it back up, I’ll be fine.My blood pressure was a little higher than they’d like, but we should both be fine.I’ll need to rest more and have been advised to keep snacks close by to avoid this in the future.I’ll be more closely monitored by my doctor as well.
“Carmine was acting weird,” Joey shares.That hurts more than anything.“He left after you were brought in here.”Tears rush to my eyes, and curbing them isn’t so easy when the hurt in my brother’s tone is tangible.
“Probably had work things to do.”How I sound so sure is beyond me.
It’s not long before Joey snores softly on my chest while thoughts circle my mind like a car on a raceway.All I see is Carmine’s face as he sat back.The defeat, the fear, the isolation he put himself through.
I’m selfish, only thinking of myself in that moment because he’s already been through the pain of loss.So have I, but mine is much different than his.The grief is the same, but somehow still unique in its own right.
The mother of his children died, yet here I am, carrying his baby.And while I’m not sure if what I went through was life-threatening, I can certainly see why he might have thought that.
Convincing myself to give him grace while being in emotional agony is not easy.I want to scream and cry and rage at the man for what he’s done to me.Instead, I close my eyes, try to relax, to push all the stress and worry to the back of my mind, but it’s so damn difficult when so much is on the line.
“Knock, knock.”
Startled, my eyes pop open as I stare at the well-dressed man entering my room.
“Can I help you?”Initially, I assume he works for Carmine; maybe he’s security or something.Then he speaks.
“Miss Carmichael, forgive the intrusion.My name’s Vincent.”His slick hair and snake-like smile set me on edge.
“I don’t know you,” I respond.His grin widens.
“Of course not, I’m an…acquaintance of Carmine’s.I heard about what happened and wanted to check on you.”He points to my brother, still sleeping.“How adorable.Joey, right?”
My arms wrap protectively around him.“Carmine isn’t here.”
“I see that.”He pushes the door closed behind him and walks to the end of the bed, grasping the rails.“See, Carmine and I have business together.”
“I’m not part of that.I don’t know anything.”
“I gathered as much, but I thought you might have a word with him.”He tsks when I reach for the nurses’ call button.“Please don’t do that.”Unbuttoning his suit coat, he pushes it back to reveal the butt of a gun in a holster at his side.I feel sick again as my body shakes in fear.“I’d simply like you to give Carmine a message for me.Could you do that?”
“You’ll leave if I agree?”
His head cocks to the side, giving me the impression that he’s young.“Sure.I’ll leave.”
“Fine, what is it?”
The man moves impossibly fast, pulling up the sheet to reveal my bare legs, then he grabs a knife from his pocket, carving something into my leg before letting the material drop.There’s no time to scream before he laughs and leaves the room without another word.
Stunned by what’s just transpired, my stomach churns.I gently slip Joey off me and slide from the bed while removing the monitor on my belly before rushing to the bathroom.As I reach the toilet, I wretch until I have no breath.Blood trickles from my leg wound, and hot tears spill down my face while trying to imagine what I ever did to deserve this.
“Mom?Are you okay?”Crap, I hadn’t wanted to wake him up.
“Fine, sweetie, I’ll be out in a minute.”That’s a lie.How do I face the boy I’ve sworn to protect when I can’t even keep myself safe?
