And have him see how we live?No thanks.
“I’m fine.Just need the Tylenol to kick in already.”
Breathing slow and deep, we make our way inside.Joey and Emma spot Aura and Kylie, so they head over there while we’re shown to a large, half-circular booth that overlooks the kids.
The place is loaded with activities and families all around.Bright neon lights flash the names of the games, and frenetic electronic sounds fill the air.It’s blinding and hypnotic all at once.
“Do you want to leave?”Carmine asks, sliding in next to me.I admire how he’s not only able to focus on me but the kids as well.
Watching them play with Aura, laughing, high-fiving each other, and taking turns, my answer remains the same.“No, they need this, and I didn’t have anything prepared for dinner.”
He studies me like he’s trying to learn who I am and how I tick.I suppose in a way, he doesn’t know those things.Our relationship has always been intense with attraction, but nothing beyond the physical, and the times I was around before our night together were always because of Odette.
“I’m coming over tonight.”He raises a hand to halt my protests.“Don’t argue.I’m coming to help with the kids.We’ll stay for now, play a few games, eat, then I’ll drive you all home.”
“Fine.”I’m honestly just too exhausted to argue with him or care that he’ll have something to say about how we live.Not right now.Later, I’ll be embarrassed.
Pushing the table forward and away from the seats a bit, he folds his suit coat and places it down like a pillow in front of me, encouraging me to lean forward and rest my head on it.As soon as I do, his hands go to my back, pushing up my shirt to touch me.His fingers gently begin massaging the muscles that have grown increasingly tighter since waking up this morning.
“Thank you,” I say.He hums in response.My eyes close, and the noise fades out as he works my back into a more relaxed state.
Unsure of how much time has passed, the kids finally come back, talking animatedly about the games they played and how Aura got them slushies and ordered pizza and breadsticks.Hearing them so happy gives me hope that we’ll be okay being a mixed family.Even though we aren’t a couple, Carmine and Aura have treated my siblings like family, and that’s more than I could ever hope for.
“Mom?We got you a grape slushy.”Joey’s tone holds all the concern of a father.
Sitting up, my back feels better, and the pain has subsided, but I’m still ready for bed.“Thanks, guys.”
Taking the cup from him, I sip it, smile, and ask about some of the games.Aura chimes in about her disappointing losing streak.I can tell she’s faking because the kids get excited and laugh as she pretends to pout.
Food is served, and the little ones are so hungry they don’t talk a lot, giving Aura and Carmine time to have a conversation that seems to loosen them both up with each other.Odette has mentioned that their relationship hasn’t been the best over the years, mostly because they’re both stubborn, which I already knew about Carmine.
Emma gets to her feet on the booth and walks over Kylie, who sits next to me, and whispers in my ear, “Hab to pee.”I’m so grateful she was easy to potty train, or I’d be in big trouble worrying about double diaper duty.
“Excuse us, guys, we need the ladies' room.”I give Kylie a questioning look, and she nods, coming with us as we exit the booth.I groan when Emma wants up in my arms, only caving because I can see she’s getting tired too.
“I’ll take them,” Aura offers, but both girls shake their heads no.
“Thank you, they’re a little shy when it comes to this.”
“No problem, we’ll be here.Joey and I will be racing those motorbikes over there.”She points to where they’ll be, and my brother’s face lights up as they run off.
As we walk to the restroom, Kylie looks up at me and asks, “Can Mr.Carmine be our dad?”My heart skips a beat as both girls stare at me, their eyes identical to mine and Mom’s and filled with want.“I think he loves you.”
There are times when I believe I’ve shielded these kids from all the horrendous things their father has done, then these insightful moments come along, making me realize they understand far more than I wish they did.
Speechless, I’m not sure how to respond to Kylie’s observation until they’ve both done their business and we’re at the counters washing our hands.Fortunately, we’re alone.“I’m sorry if I’m not enough for you guys.I want to give you the world, but I know I can’t.”
“We love you, Mom.”Choking up at Kylie’s words brings tears to my eyes.
“I’ve never doubted that, sweetie.”Wincing as the baby karate chops my kidney, I squat down so I can look both girls in the eye.“Mr.Carmine is the baby’s daddy.I don’t know if we will be anything together, but I think he will always treat you guys like he has so far.Do you understand?”
“Nope.”Emma smiles brightly.Her innocence is a dream right now.
“Kind of,” Kylie answers.
“Do you have questions?”I ask.Kylie nods.“Would you rather wait until we get home to ask so you can play more games for now?”Another nod.“Deal.”
We leave the restroom area and return to find Aura at our table while Joey and Carmine race each other.The girls immediately run over, and Carmine doesn’t hesitate to help Kylie onto one of the bikes, while Emma reaches to be picked up.
